Break Me Down (The Kill)
by Erulastiel Nostariel
Summary: Samira is a rogue mage that looks like Snow White, but acts the exact opposite. She enjoys life & even more so a good man to warm her bed at night with no emotional attachment. After joining the Inquisition, her wildest desires become true one night with Iron Bull, but little did she know the feelings she would have to slowly confront with Warden Blackwall. More details inside!
1. What a wonderful world

**A/N: This is the second version of this story's prologue, that is completely different from the original. The original prologue with Samira's backstory will be uploaded as a separate piece for the time being.**

Across Thedas the world trembled as an incredible explosion racked the sky, lighting up an eery green that shook everything. Demon spirits screeched as they spread out from the tear in the sky, a shockwave knocking the innocent bystanders of Haven to the ground by the force of the explosion.

Not a moment later after exiting The Singing Maiden after a night of drinking, a rogue story teller braces against the harsh winds. He laments to himself, readying his unique crossbow for a fight. Varric Tethras is no stranger to witnessing huge explosions in the sky, but he knows this bodes far more ominous than his past experiences with magic.

"Aww, not again…"

At the Winter Palace, a court enchanter is plagued by an unapproving noble nipping at her heels as she takes her stride down the halls. When the explosion hits, even though Halamshiral is out of reach from Haven, the windows still shatter; the regal Madame Vivienne de Fer easily conjures a barrier and confidently smirks as she see's opportunity.

"Alas, it appears more urgent matters demand my attention. Now, run along, dear."

A scarred battlefield even feels the effects as distant as the Venatori reach. A hulk of a Qunari leads his men in battle as the earth burns before them, intent on getting paid for a job thoroughly done. Spotting a giant headed right his way, he throws the Venatori squirming between his one-handed grasp to the side with little effort, his men cheering him on before he charges it. His axe meets with great strength, and as the giant falls to the ground defeated, the Iron Bull has barely disengaged when the dust is kicked off the ground briefly enveloping him like a mist.

"Ughhh...it had to be demons! Chargers! Clean up and clear out! There's money on the horizon!"

And at the center of it all lies a female mage of noble origin, Samira Trevelyan of Ostwick.

 _The Divine!_

This is the last thought Samira remembers having before she blacked out.

"Shit…" Samira rose from a charcoal colored ground, the atmosphere encircling her filled with smoke and ashes rising up to a distorted sky.

Turning around, she makes her way down a hill, careful of her footing as she sees a figure in the distance. Samira was unsure where she was, it didn't look like the temple where the conclave was held.

 _What the hell is going on? Last thing I remember I was walking down a hall trying to find my way to the negotiations, and now…_

Samira's thoughts were muddled, she found it hard to focus as she reached the hill. Panic set in as she heard scurrying not far from behind her, and when she turned her head, spiders were intent on chasing her. Samira tried to hurry, desperately grabbing onto the rocky terrain to reach the figure that she could not make out. It appeared to be a woman, she was full of light so details were impossible to discern.

The mage fought the urge to throw her jacket off as her body started sweating almost profusely. The air around her was sticky and humid, making her breath more strained as she struggled to reach the woman's outstretched hand. Her pixie black hair clung to her forehead, sweat beaded her eyebrow but she refused to let her uncomfortable state hinder her.

 _I'm not losing this damn jacket in this hell hole of all places! It's my favorite one._

Samira thought to herself, trying to distract from the fact spiders were going to overwhelm her if she didn't reach safety. Just a few more inches and she would be on top of the hill with the woman, that was all that mattered. But then her left hand started tingling before she could reach the slender fingers.

 _Okay, something's really not right with me now!_

Her hand acted of its own volition in the second that followed; it lit up with a green energy and Samira could feel her strength within slip. She fought to stay conscious, trying with all her might to gather mana, alas she failed. Samira's stomach threatened to lurch up its contents while she struggled to pull herself together, but if she let that happen, she knew she was dead.

Pounding pulse beat in her ears and by then Samira was downright terrified as she lost control.

One last look behind her shoulder sent a terrifying jolt of fear down her spine as the multiple giant spiders were so close to her foot, ready to drag her away. Their mouths oozed with venom dripping down, ravenous and ready for prey.

Her vision went white, and as quickly as she had came to, she was already slipping out of consciousness when her body connected with solid ground, seemingly out of thin air.

The last thing she saw was temple ruins all around her and three soldiers wearily approaching her exhausted and shaky form.

 _Maker preserve me..._

 **A/N: The opening introduction comes from the Varric/Vivienne/Iron Bull official trailers to lead into Samira being in the middle of the Breach. As of now, this is my final version. Some tweaks will be made in following chapters accordingly as I go comb back through the first thirteen chapters that I will make note of. Thanks for reading and the patience with a work in progress! -Erulastiel**


	2. More than just any ordinary mage

**A/N: Flash forward to Haven time!**

 **Chapter 2: More than just any ordinary mage, still dumb enough to make mistakes**

The Herald of Andraste. The title seemed to echo on forever in Samira's mind as she sat in her own ruminations at The Singing Maiden tavern of Haven. It didn't help that Maryden hauntingly sang 'The Breach' only a few steps away from her too. She couldn't say if she truly considered herself Andrastian, at least not in the Chantry kind of way. Samira knew she believed in the Maker, but the Chantry left her with a bitter taste in her mouth that unfortunately spilled over into her views on Andraste, since the two were interlinked.

"My lady Herald! What can I do for you today?" Flissa, the redheaded owner of the tavern asked, her hands on her hip from behind the bar.

"An ale would do me just fine, Flissa." Samira only wished the tavern was bigger, as she inevitably felt like half the room was stealing glances at her turned back.

"I thought she was a mage, where's her staff then?" One spoke in hushed whispers across the room to another, not thinking Samira would be able to hear.

"I heard a rumor its in that pouch of hers on her belt! Wonder how she could do that?" The other patron hiccuped in reply.

 _Now, that is a secret I may never tell._

The rumor was true, in her time away from the Circle, she sought out a way to hide her staff in case the rebellion caught up to her. She became very good at hiding, and wasn't going to let the Templars take her down when she wanted nothing to do with it all in the first place. She heard of an odd dwarf interested in the arcane that traveled the Circles to research their ways.

"Pardon me for asking, my lady, but is what they say true, about your staff?" Flissa chimed in, not seeming bothered by topics of magic like most people.

"Since you asked so nicely, my dear, I'll let you in on a little secret." Samira beckoned Flissa to lean in so she could whisper.

"It's a little dwarven trick, so to speak." She watched Flissa's expression change to wonder as she unhooked the pouch from her back.

"The dwarves can do that?" Flissa asked as Samira took a swig of her ale and steadied herself against the bar.

"One in particular that has special talents one such as myself could appreciate!" She smiled, and looked over her shoulder seeing some of her comrades walk in. The first to catch her eye was Commander Cullen.

 _He has a certain charm about him. At least he's not a templar any longer, so that's good._

"My lady, spending your night off here again?" Cullen asked rather stiffly, in his usual fashion. He usually wasn't very talkative with her at all, and when she flirted with him, she could tell his inexperience with women.

"Commander, it's a delight to see you again so soon after our last little chat! Won't you please sit?" She flashed her piercing green eyes at him like she always did with men, musing to herself how she had brought a blush to his face and an awkward cough when she asked if he had been celibate as a Templar.

"I suppose I can have a drink. It's been a long day of training the recruits." Flissa drew him up a bar stool and went about her business in the tavern.

"Have two on me! I've got nothing else to spend my coin on, after all." Samira winked mischievously at the blonde.

"I couldn't impose on a lady." Cullen said, poised with his best manner, no doubt because she was of noble birth.

"As noble as that is, and as noble as I may be born from, my dear Cullen...how about I let you get the next one?" She smiled at him, although slightly annoyed with being treated like some frilly noble.

 _The only thing nobility has gotten me was supposed entitlements, but I'd rather just be a normal, free woman._

She didn't see herself like all the other nobility did. Although her name had saved her in the ways of the Circle, Samira only saw House Trevelyan as a name she was attached to.

"Alright then." Cullen took a conservative sip at his drink, but not without notice from the Herald.

"Oh no, that simply won't do if you're in my company, Cullen! We drink!" She rose her mug to his and they toasted, hoping she would loosen him up.

 _I wonder what's beneath that armor and ridiculous fur around his shoulders?_

"You know, Cullen…you never seem to get out of that drab uniform! What's up with that?" Samira hiccuped, feeling her third ale of the night finally sinking in, relaxing her body.

"My lady, well I, uh-" Cullen awkwardly said, not knowing what to say next.

"Shhh. I'm just teasing you, love." She put a slender finger to his lips, careful to graze the nail along his upper lip.

"Herald, I know you jest, but I'm not used to this-" Cullen's face was now as red as the color of Samira's lips, which was very red.

"Flirting, you mean? Oh commander, I'm just trying to...loosen you up." She covertly placed a hand on his leg, making sure no one was paying attention. Cullen nervously finished off his ale and ordered another one, not knowing what to make of her advances.

"Tell you what, you meet me outside the walls in twenty minutes. I have something to show you, I think it'll help." She laughed to herself and finished her last drink before sauntering out the door, knowing his eyes were on her.

 _Oh, he'll come. And if he doesn't, I guess he really is all armor and duty!_

Since Samira had started the Inquisition with Cassandra and Leilana, she hadn't much time to breathe, and she was sorely needing a male companion. The Inquisition was still in its infancy, only a couple of months in, so Samira put aside her own carnal desires to focus on helping the people. As frustrating as it was to her to be in the middle of the Mage-Templar war in the Hinterlands, she still felt some altruistic need to stop the whole thing. Once the area finally started to calm down after Samira, Varric, Cassandra, and Solas took down the Templar encampments, she felt like she could breath for a moment.

The sun had long since set, and although Haven was a tad more chillier at night than Samira was used to, she made do by using her magic to keep her body warm. She leaned against the stone wall, giving the man another couple of minutes before she gave up on him.

"It's about time! Were you mulling over what this surprise would be?" She teased him as she saw him approach, noticing he still had his sword attached to his hip. Cullen's steps were slightly uneven, and as he drew closer she could smell the alcohol on him.

"My lady, I'm not sure what this is all about. We should go back to our rooms, I'm sure you have as early of a morning as I do." Samira could tell he was trying to keep his composure and was failing.

"I think you can make an exception this one time." She took a bold step forward into his personal space and looked up at him, her lips slightly parted. Cullen stood there for a moment, acting as if he was mesmerized by her facial features alone.

"You are just too much to ask for." He quietly said, Samira could tell she had him hooked.

She let her breath hitch in her throat, waiting as she closed the remaining distance and took his lips feverishly with her own. Although Samira had no romantic feelings for the man, she was still a woman and needed to be fulfilled on a base level. Her use of magic to keep her warm slipped, but she didn't notice as her body became enveloped by Cullen's warm frame.

 _Well, at least the furs are good for something._

Samira led the way at first, her tongue eagerly parting his lips as his hands found their way around her hips. Seconds passed, and Samira noticed Cullen's guard was finally dropped.

"I want you." Cullen said almost slurred in between kissing her lips and neck. Samira felt her inner goddess stir within her, a fire growing in her nether region.

"Then take me, right here." She gasped as he nibbled at her neck. She didn't care if it was outside, she knew no one was around to hear or see so reputation wasn't risked.

Samira started to fumble with his pants as he unbuttoned her top to gain access. She knew he didn't have a lot of experience, as his hands showed when they clumsily grabbed at her breasts hidden beneath the cloth. Instead, she focused on that inner goddess, not wanting the fire to go away as she needed it to alleviate the stress within her body. That started to become hard as she suspected Cullen was not entirely on the same page as her.

"I can't believe this is happening. You are amazing." He whispered into her hair, something Samira was not used to. It was different, and not entirely in a good way.

 _Why is he acting like this? It's just sex, Cullen. You probably need it more than I do._

Instead of replying, and wanting, no needing this encounter to move along, she captured his mouth to hers again and kissed him as her hand found his manhood. Samira guided his hand to the top of her pants and trusted he was not that naive to not know where to go from there. She started to massage his hardened member, earning many groans of pleasure from the commander.

"Maker's breath! Don't stop!" He moaned into her neck as his hands finally found their way inside her garments.

"If I did that, how would we ever get to the good part?" Samira teased him, goading him to continue. His fingers were at first rough finding her spot, but she did not care.

"You're so wet." He smiled, half drunk as his fingers circled her clit.

"Oh, that is the spot, don't stop!" She moaned in pleasure, glad he was finally getting her hints.

"I need you, now." That earned no protest from the Herald as her pants were pulled down just enough for Cullen to gain access. Pushed up against the cold stone, he pointed his member against her entrance and paused to get her ready.

"Oh, I'm ready." She noted to him, keeping to herself that it wasn't like he was the biggest in the world, so she knew she could take him. He wasn't small either, Samira was thankful or else this encounter wouldn't be worth it. She brought her hand to it and guided it in, earning moans from both sides.

"Samira, oh Samira…" He rambled as he started to enter in and out of her. Once again, she found herself fighting to hold onto her fire (despite still feeling pleasure) as she was picky and it was a pet peeve when men said her name like that. It was too personal.

 _If anyone was going on that level with me, they better be the greatest lover Thedas has ever seen!_

She pushed the thoughts from her mind and dug her nails deep into his exposed skin, trying to keep her momentum going that she desperately needed. Cullen seemed entirely ignorant of this and kept pounding away at her, until he quickly retreated and spilled his seed out onto the snow.

 _That's just great._

She sighed, agitated as he pulled his pants back up and kissed her on top of her head.

"I'm sorry, that was, um really nice." Back to his blushing again, he ran a hand through his hair as Samira gathered herself together.

"Yes...it was." She tried to not come off too callous; Samira didn't want to hurt his feelings and damage their future friendship.

 _Stupid girl, this was a bad idea!_

She made up an excuse to get out of there as soon as possible, and slinked back to her quarters, but not before Cassandra gave her a funny look.

"What have you been up to?" She asked accusingly, crossing her arms in the typical Cassandra the Seeker way.

"I, uh, got a little drunk and wandered off into the woods and the branches attacked me?" She spit out, almost wanting to laugh at the ridiculous excuse that actually worked to explain her disheveled appearance.

"You are an odd woman, Lady Trevelyan. I hope you don't make a habit of this, the Inquisition needs you." They nodded awkward farewell's, giving Samira the chance to escape to her quaint little chamber she was afforded at Haven. After she was done bathing, she found a letter with a report attached from Leliana, following up on her Warden concerns no one else seemed to have.

"There's a Warden in the Hinterlands? Funny, I didn't run into him the two weeks I spent there getting the land back into order. Blackwall, interesting. Blackkkwall." She said out loud to herself, feeling the name was amusing for some reason. Going out to find this warden first thing in the morning seemed the easiest way out of having to do with Cullen, Samira thanked the Maker for that.

 **A/N: So, now that we've got that awkward encounter out of the way, prepare for Samira's walk of shame next chapter! I'm not really expecting any reviews at this point, but its going to heat up fairly soon, so I hope you enjoy and say what you think in the future chapters! -Erulastiel**


	3. Bears and Bulls

**A/N: Hello again! Just wanted to make a quick note for any confusion, I wanted to list Trevelyan as a pairing between Blackwall and Iron Bull, but it wasn't letting me, so I listed it as Inquisitor. Just to clear any potential confusion, Trevelyan is the Inquisitor. I really enjoyed writing the bit where Samira tells about how she came to be with her horse, Raven. I think it really spoke and gave some insight into her character.**

 **Chapter 3: Bears and Bulls**

When she woke the next morning, she found Leilana and decided to make it her first priority as her views were often the most in line with the Nightingale. Samira decided against asking any of her companions to join her on this little side quest.

 _Solas and Vivienne wouldn't be interested over Wardens, Varric hurt his ankle falling down a hill last time we were at the Hinterlands, so he's still healing...Cassandra is too busy, and Sera would rather be playing pranks with her Red Jennies. Yup, its just me and Raven this time around._

"I'm just glad to get away from that awkwardness with Cullen after last night." Samira muttered to herself as she left her room, but it appeared she spoke too soon as she made her way into the Chantry's main hall and stumbled into the man himself.

 _I really should stop speaking too soon, maybe I'm just unlucky!_

"Herald! It's good to see you, I mean I was hoping to." He smiled, a hint of shyness in his eyes making Samira groan all the more internally.

 _Too clingy for me. This is going to suck._

"Actually, I was hoping to talk to you as well, but I have an urgent mission I must leave on so...we'll just have to speak later when I come back!" She quickly ducked around him, not waiting for his reply, but she was sure of what it would have been, due to his body language and tone with her.

 _Dodged that bullet for now. It's like the poor fool's already in love with me!_

Exiting through the main doors of the Chantry, she noticed a man that didn't quite fit in with her troops.

"Excuse me, I've got a message for the Inquisition but I'm having a hard time getting anyone to talk to me." The messenger was shorter than the average man, which made Samira wonder.

"You can give it to me."

"We got word of some Tevinter mercenary's gathering out on the Storm Coast. My company commander, Iron Bull offers the information free of charge. If you'd like to see what the Bull's Chargers can do for the Inquisition, meet us there and watch us work."

"Alright, you've got my interest. What should I know about your commander? I'm not familiar." Samira prompted, wondering what kind of leader this 'Iron Bull' was.

"Iron Bull? He's one of those Qunari. The big guys, with the horns? He leads from the front and he pays well, and he's a lot smarter than the last bastard I worked for. Best of all, he's professional, he'll accept contracts with whoever makes the first real offer. You're the first time he's gone out of his way to pick a side." The messenger said calmly and confidently.

"I look forward to meeting him. I'll set out as soon as I'm done with my business in Redcliffe. Send him my regards?" Samira drew up a parchment that was heavily scented in her favorite perfume, signed it as her 'regards' and sealed it. She didn't even know what the man looked like, but she decided it wouldn't hurt since anything would probably be an improvement from her night with Cullen.

"Oh, he'll get a kick out of this alright. My lady." He gave a quick bow and walked away, leaving a look of satisfaction on Samira's face. Remembering she was supposed to be on an urgent mission, she quickly headed over to the stables next to the forge.

"Leaving again so soon, Herald?" The blacksmith, Harritt called out as he worked a blade in his forge.

"I have recruiting to do for the Inquisition. Wish me luck, although I doubt I need it!" Samira confidently called out as she finished saddling Raven. Once she made sure her supplies were all ready to go, she brought her closed fist to her chest to everyone who gathered to see her off, which were returned in unison.

"I'll dispatch a raven to Sister Leliana when I've arrived." She bid Raven forward with the reigns and didn't need further instruction for the horse to start at a gallop once they left the safety of Haven.

 _The trips back and forth are becoming easier._

Samira had nearly mastered the paths Leliana's agents had mapped out as the fasted way to travel south through the Frostbacks where they met up with the Hinterlands region, and even found some short cuts most travelers didn't know about. The trip took five full days, with only modest breaks to rest, eat, and stretch one's legs.

"You're getting a vacation after this, I swear!" Samira fed Raven sugar cubes once she was tied up at the local stables of Redcliffe.

"My lady, I promise she is in good hands." The stable boy had promised her, and even though she gave the boy more than enough of a tip, she still gave him a look that needed no words.

 _Anything happens to my horse, and you won't like me very much._

Samira didn't have many things in her life she personally cared for, but Raven was practically on the top of the list and she couldn't bare the thought of losing her prized horse. As she followed the instructions to Warden Blackwall's location, she remembered how she came to meet this one of a kind horse.

While she still lived in the Dales, there was a merchant travelling through that had come upon owning horses he didn't need. He stopped at her clan, although he didn't expect much from them. Out of the four horses he had, there was one that immediately caught Samira's eye for two reasons. While the other three breeds were perfectly suited to follow along, a lone Amaranthine Charger stood out both in beauty and resilience.

 _She wants to be free!_

"Unruly, that one. I might as well put her down and sell her meat instead of dealing with the trouble she brings me!" He threw up his hands in resignation.

"Are you kidding me? Maybe if you respected her she wouldn't be so 'unruly' as you put it." Samira rose her eyebrow in condescension and in offense.

 _If I had the money, I'd buy all these poor horses from this blithering idiot._

"I may not know much about horses, but I'm not dumb enough to not ask about the breeds I was taking in Miss! That Amaranthine is nothing like its breed is supposed to be. I thought that one would be an easy sell. No one wants to deal with her."

"That's because she's unique. You'd know that if you would look into her eyes. That's where it all matters. You ever hear the saying the eyes are the windows to the soul? I like to think that's a big deal with training horses." She slowly walked up to her and although she seemed a bit nervous at first, Samira knew how to handle her.

"Be careful, I won't be held responsible if she hurts you!" He cautioned, but Samira just held up a finger to silence him as she approached.

Not breaking eye contact, she slowly but calmly held her hand to the mare's head and stroked her mane. They instantly fell in love with each other and the rest was history. The merchant didn't need any more convincing, he gave the horse to her for free having learned a lesson about how to treat animals.

 _That was the closest thing I've ever felt real love for something._

Samira thought fondly of her horse as she neared the location marked on her map.

"Looks like I'm here. Time flies when you're reminiscing. Note to self: stop talking to yourself so much!" Samira laughed to herself as she walked past a little cliff waterfall that overlooked the valley and a nearby Inquisition camp.

"My lady Herald! You should have told us you were coming, we would have sent someone to come get you." The scout said formally to her.

"It's quite alright, I wanted to leave Raven at a proper stable. She gets rather fussy sometimes at the camps, you know." She casually shrugged and kept walking past him.

"Of course, my lady. We will be here if you require us!" He called out to her. Past the waterfall was a little lake with a house on the other side. Taking the long way around, she reached the docking area that would allow her to reach over to the house. Approaching the house she saw a group of three young locals being talked to by a man in armor.

"Blackwall? Warden Blackwall?" She called out, making him turn his back to finally reveal what he looked like.

 _He definitely doesn't look how I expected him to. He's hairy...like a bear!_

Samira chided herself for being distracted at a time she should be all business.

 _Being serious wasn't always my strongest suit my mother always told me._

"You're not-how do you know my name? Who sent..." The Warden took her by surprise by how quickly he strode over to her; Samira could tell he was on guard and he was right to be, because before he could even finish his sentence, he was using his shield arm to block an incoming arrow from out of no where.

"I'd act shocked if I didn't know any better of the criminals in this area!" Samire quickly remarked before she grabbed her daggers that hung at both sides of her hips.

"That's it. Help or get out. We're dealing with these idiots first! Conscripts! Here they come!" Blackwall rallied the young men, who didn't seem particularly overjoyed.

"I think we'll get along just fine. I love it when a man tells me what to do." Samira quipped, knowing that wasn't the entire truth.

The bandits converged on the group, making Samira switch to her typical rogue stance whenever she wanted to fight with her daggers instead of her staff. She counted five of them, an even fight at least. One immediately came after her and the Herald could tell he was the weakest of the group. He tried to rush her, but all it took from her was to step aside at the right moment and trip him.

 _His type always falls for that!_

Samira counted this one lucky as he landed on his stomach, unable to see the daggers swoop forward as she brought them down into his back. She knew she had paralyzed him, but he was still alive. While the others fought, she had the opportunity to give him a merciful death. Pulling him forward with some effort, she slit his throat at the right spot to end his misery.

"Blackwall! Watch out!" She cried out to him when she turned, seeing one of the bandits was about to sneak behind him when he was distracted helping the conscripts. Instinctively, she threw her dagger with a practiced precision that took years to perfect, landing it in his leg to give Blackwall time to counter him. After that, the fighting quickly died out as the last bandit was slain by the Warden.

"Sorry bastards. Good work, conscripts, even if this shouldn't have happened. They could've-well, thieves are made, not born. Take back what they stole. Go back to your families. You saved yourselves." He dismissed the men, leaving Samira to resume their interrupted conversation previously.

"That was quite the rousing speech. I was a bit distracted by your beard and then all the blood, well mostly the blood, but the beard was something too!" Samira's usual charm was turned on, but Blackwall did not seem to notice it.

"You're no farmer. Why do you know my name? Who are you?" The Warden was all business, Samira supposed he really was like them after all.

"Oh, my apologies. Forgot to turn my charm off. Sometimes I just can't control the damn thing! Greetings are in order, I believe. My name is Samira Trevelyan, and I know your name because I'm rebuilding the Inquisition with Seeker Cassandra and Lady Leliana. At the Nightingales request, I'm investigating whether the disappearance of Wardens has anything to with the murder of the Divine. There you have it, charm is now fully off!" Samira sarcastically said, unable to help herself.

"Maker's balls, the Wardens and the Divine? That can't-no you're asking, so you don't really know." The Warden paced a bit in his response, only amusing Samira further with his straightforward attitude.

"First off, I didn't know they disappeared. But we do that, right? No more Blight, job done. Wardens are the first thing forgotten. But one thing I'll tell you: No Warden killed the Divine. Our purpose isn't political."

"My instinct and knowledge of the Grey Wardens tells me to believe you on that. I just need information. I've only found you. Where are the rest?" Samira crossed her arms, her weight shifting to one hip. She was glad her new casual scout wear was more comfortable than the armor the Inquisition tried giving her. Typical mage robes weren't her style.

"I haven't seen any Wardens for months. I travel alone, recruiting."

"I imagine not many are willing to join up now."

"That you are right. With the Archdemon long dead now, and no Blights to speak of, there's usually not a need. With the Warden treaties, we do however have the right to take what we idiots forced this fight, so I 'conscripted' their victims."

"You know, you could have just asked them. I'm sure they would have been happy to take back what was yours." She shrugged at the idea.

"Because they seemed so thrilled before?" Blackwall let out a small chuckle, the first time he showed any personality beyond his own duty.

"Point taken, ser!" She smiled at him and thought she saw a small twinkle in the corner of his eye.

"Next time they won't need me. Grey Wardens can inspire, make you better than you think you are." His expression and tone of voice spoke volumes with the statement, he really believed it.

"I appreciate the candidness, Warden Blackwall. But now where does this leave us?" Samira kept the teasing flirtation to a minimal in her voice, or at least she tried to. She moved to pick her daggers out of a fallen bandit as he intercepted her.

"Inquisition...agent, did you say? Hold a moment." She turned to his voice, hoping he would have something more to say, to give to her so she wouldn't leave empty handed.

"The divine is dead, and the sky is torn. Events like these, thinking we're absent is almost as bad as thinking we're involved."

"That certainly would help garner support if the Wardens were trying to do the right thing." Samira agreed.

"Maybe you need a Warden. Maybe you need me." Blackwall proposed eager to please, yet showing a confidence in himself that Samira liked.

"Warden Blackwall, the Inquisition accepts your offer!" She smiled at him.

"Good to hear. Perhaps I've been keeping to myself for too long. I'll meet you back at Haven, or if you like I can watch your back on the way."

"Oh, you certainly have permission to do so." Samira teased, this time letting her true demeanor slip through.

"Well, I-" Blackwall looked off, not exactly awkward, but not sure what to say to that.

"Relax, Warden. Just tugging your beard is all. I actually have to go to the Storm Coast after this. Then we can go back to Haven." She lightly elbowed him in the side and noticed how solid his body felt.

"I wonder if you all are like that…" She muttered under her breath.

"Pardon, my lady?" Blackwall turned to hear what she said.

"Nothing! Let's get some horses from my camp nearby." She perked up and led him away after he gathered his few necessities.

"So we're taking these horses all the way to Redcliffe to get another horse?" Blackwall thought it was odd until Samira explained to him why when they got there.

"She's a beauty, isn't she? Meet my best friend, Raven." Raven poked her head out from the stall, perking up at the voice of her master and friend.

""That she is. I suppose I shouldn't complain about a horse being your best friend. At least you have one." Blackwall said as they rode out, finally ready to make their journey to the Storm Coast.

"Why don't we change that then?" Samira always had a way with words, to twist even the simplest, purest phrases construed into something else.

 _Living all your life sheltered with virtually no choices and then having your freedom, one could get carried away._

And that she did, hence her very sexual nature. The trip up north took about six days this time; there was a better way to go slightly around Crestwood instead of going through it (she had heard troubling rumors about undead rising in the village) but the rainy weather slowed the horses down. Samira convinced Blackwall to play games with her to pass the time along the roads and mountainside, so that made it easier at least.

"Ugh, how long has it been raining now?" Samira's cowl was soaked through, her short pixie hair clinging to her face making her miserable.

"About three days since we entered Crestwood's region. We should be close, only a few more hours at most. Would you like to stop? I see a decent spot to camp for a bit." Blackwall pointed to a cave along the mountain side.

"Ohhh, this is so much better!" She took off the hood and shook her hair from the loose beads of water and caught the man looking at her.

"My lady, may I ask how you got those markings around your eye?" He quietly asked, not wanting to seem improper.

"I know, it helps show off my seductively charming eyes, doesn't it? Long story short, they're sort of a Dalish thing." She wiggled her eyebrows amusingly to get him to smile.

"But you're not Dalish." That earned a chuckle from the mage.

"Ser, I'll have you know I consider myself far more Dalish than Trevelyan!" She crossed her arms in a mock pouting fashion, but couldn't hold it in before a smile crept up on her.

"Fair enough! Maybe you can tell me that story one day." Blackwall looked at her, and something about that look made Samira wonder what lurked behind it.

"Perhaps I will. Are you chilly? I feel like it's a tad bit nipply!" She huddled her arms closer over her chest, thankful her dark black vest and scarf was water resistant.

"I would offer to make a fire, but in these conditions it would be pointless to try, and we won't be here that long. It might be helpful to take your cloak off, the thing must be soaked by now." He suggested.

"I agree." She shook the cloak off and surprised Blackwall by sidling up next to him for warmth.

"Oh, don't be so surprised. My intentions are pure, I promise. Now, any other time that may not be so true." Samira took what she needed, that's what she was used to doing, but was glad when he relaxed and offered his arm around her.

"My lady, you are rather different than other nobility I've met." He stated, curious about the woman.

"It's complicated and not as exciting as you may think." Samira cryptically said, not wanting to give away her secrets.

"A story for another time?" His head easily rested above hers in the position they were in, she seemed to be comfortable so he went with it.

"Aye, among many I'm afraid. But I'm guessing you'd like to hear one of them to fill the silence?" She peered up at him, and for the first time since they had met, he truly saw her eyes. How striking they were, a pure green like you saw in a black cat. They were encompassed by solid black shadow on her eyelids and lined the bottom of her eyes.

When you really looked at Samira, you saw slightly pale skin, but not untouched by light freckles that barely danced across her cheeks. She had just enough color in her cheeks to not worry someone she was ill and her lips looked like they were touched with a clearly distinguished red. Samira was often a proud woman; she relished the way men looked at her longingly. It was power, but she did not truly enjoy it until she was with someone that shook her to her core.

 _I have always longed for an equal, someone to fulfill my needs and someone who will let me do the same._

"I'm sorry, my lady, you were saying?" Blackwall embarrassingly said, distracted.

"Samira. You can call me Samira. I'd have thought 'my lady' would have worn out for you by now!" She teased, straightening up and breaking the innocent embrace they had shared for warmth.

"Samira, I stand corrected. Old habits die hard I guess." He admitted, causing Samira to wonder more about him.

"Grow up somewhere fancy, did you? It occurs to me I don't know much about you either." She rose up and stretched her legs before helping Blackwall up.

"I wouldn't say that, one doesn't need to grow up nobility to have manners. I just hold myself to a higher standard as a Grey Warden and my honor is really all I've got." Samira sensed changing the subject was something Blackwall was good at, but she didn't want to accuse him at least not openly when they didn't know each other that long.

 _Everyone has skeletons. Last time I checked I had about ten!_

"Fair enough, my good ser. Shall we ride? I'll race you if you're feeling up to it." Samira switched to a lighter tone.

For all the personality Samira had, the openness she appeared to have, she was a very private person deep down. She kept her real feelings to herself and preferred to avoid emotional attachment to men. During her time in the Circle of Ostwick, every once in a while a mage would try to secretly woo her. Relationships weren't allowed, not that Samira cared personally (her only focus was improving her magical abilities and working on a plan to some day get out) but there were a couple here and there that tried to woo her.

One almost succeeded, but every time she remembered him, she blocked out what became of that situation to avoid the feelings that came with it. Once she was a free woman, she wanted to live her life with passion, and that did not include love. Love was confusing, and her spirit wanted nothing more than to be free.

 _And bang whoever I want!_

"What are you smiling about?" Blackwall asked, curious to what got into her.

"Nothing, just thinking about what I get when I win this race." She casually said as they prepared their mounts.

"Ohh, I see. Don't get too smug! I'm a decent rider myself!" Blackwall boasted, his tone back to being lighter to match hers.

"On the contrary, no offense to your horse, but she's no Raven." She patted the horse proudly once she was comfortable in the saddle, amused he was still not ready on his.

"You wound us, Samira! I'm not as young as you, cut me a break." He chided her as he mounted.

"You're no old man, what are you, maybe forty?" Samira played a dangerous game, but she loved it nonetheless. She knew she had him wrapped around her finger enough to let her get away with that.

"Right on the mark. And you? Twenty-five?" They lined their horses up next to each other and were thankful the rain had finally subsided.

"Where did you learn your flattery from? I'll take that as a compliment. I'm twenty-six. And to answer your question about taking it easy on you...never!" And with that, she lightly kicked into Raven as it did not take much and she raced forward, a huge smile on her lips all the way down the Storm Coast.

"You know, it's hard to call this a race when the majority of it is riddled in rocky terrain." Blackwall chimed as they started to smell the sea air. At this point they were carefully traversing through rocky slopes, guiding their horses by foot to avoid any injuries.

"True, I probably should have thought about that. My bad." She held her free hand up in concession, not truly wanting to but trying to be fair.

"We could reschedule, if it bothers you that much."

"Warden Blackwall, are you teasing _me_? Darling, I would never dream of backing down from a fight. You and I are racing when we get back to Haven there's no doubt about that. I'll have Varric judge. Oh wait, he may not be the most trustworthy to judge, ha!" She slapped a hand on her thigh at the thought of two horses racing towards the dwarf.

"Why would that be funny _?"_ He asked, obviously not knowing why.

"He likes to fib...a lot. And he would declare me winner to inspire some tall tale of how the Herald of Andraste bested a bear, or something like that. Rest assured, he would make up a lot of what really would happen and people would believe him because he was the judge."

"What does a bear have to do with any of this?" Blackwall's confusion made Samira bust out in laughter.

"You don't know? You are rather beary, Ser Blackwall. I wonder how much hair you have on your chest!" Her laughter was uncontainable now, she didn't know why she found it so, it just was.

"I had no idea I was a bear! Good to know, I'm glad my hair is good for your pleasure." Samira blushed, trying to hide it from the man when stray thoughts wandered into her mind.

 _Ugh, this no coming thing is really starting to wear on me. I need to find a new partner soon._

The thought of Blackwall's naked chest ran across her mind, startling her. She liked him, but wasn't sure about trying to pursue that with him, especially after her mistake with Cullen. He was too sloppy and not at all a fit for what she demanded in the sack.

Although he certainly had a manly charm to him, Blackwall seemed to be reserved much like Cullen was. Samira wanted to explore her sexuality, so just plain cookies was not on her menu. She could be wrong, but it was too early to jump on stray sexual thoughts about the man.

 _I'm going to be smarter this time. I don't want any drama, just casual, amazing sex that can keep me satiated. If I can get that, anything this Breach throws at me I can take. I just need to alleviate the tension!_

"Is that the camp?" Blackwall asked when they spotted Inquisition soldiers.

"Thank the Maker! Come on, Raven! She hurried the mare along ahead of Blackwall and smirked when she arrived there first.

"Don't tell me you're still racing."

"I win! Ha ha! Well, sorry Blackwall. You owe me now." She placed her hands smugly on her hips and smiled confidently.

"And what do I owe you?" He raised an eyebrow at her as he handed his horse off to one of the soldiers.

"That is to be determined at a later date. I like to save favors for an opportune time." She winked at him before moving to tie Raven up.

"Smart woman, but I don't know if that's a good or bad thing for me." He frowned at her, not truly meaning it.

"I'm sure it possibly could be mutually beneficial to the both of us. Now, are we ready to get this over with? This has been a rather long trip, I'm already missing Haven sadly, and I usually don't miss things." She ran a hand through her disheveled hair and stretched her arms out as they walked down the slope that led directly to the meeting spot.

"At least we have the sea air to welcome us." Blackwall said, but Samira did not hear. Her keen senses picked up yells coming down at the coast around the corner of the rock wall they were walking alongside.

"And the Tevinter." He looked at her as if he didn't understand how she could hear, but followed her lead any ways. She quickly crept down the remaining slope and rounded the corner to find a sizable group of Tevinter fighting what she could only assume was the Chargers mercenary group. Her eyes immediately zoomed to the biggest figure of them all, no doubt the Qunari leader.

"Now this looks like a real fight!" Blackwall exclaimed as he unsheathed his sword, ready to go.

 _There's too many, I'd better play it safe. Hopefully I don't regret doing this._

She reached to the back of her belt and unhooked the mechanism that had safely lived there and pushed a secret button at the bottom. Her staff popped out and forward, going back to its normal state, earning a look of shock and surprise from her companion.

 _Wrath of Lovias, Mama sure has missed you._

Samira knew now was not the time to address Blackwall's concern, and so did he. He rushed forward to meet the group, bringing his shield up in defense of a Tevinter marksman. Gathering up her mana, Samira felt the magic surge through her, this time thunder called to her. She said a prayer quietly in her mind to Sylaise and hummed as part of patronage to her was of the arts.

Bringing her staff down with ferocity, the mage struck the ground and electricity gathered around the group, making a static cage. She focused it purely on the Tevinter, which took a lot of attention to avoid hitting your companions if they were in the way. She wasn't worried though, Samira was far enough away from the group she didn't have to worry, unless a Vint would come at her and disrupt the spell.

 _If that happened, then yeah I would worry the thunder would hit them without my focused control. Too bad for the Vints._

Her eyes clouded with what looked like clouds from the sky, and as the static hit each and every target, paralyzing them, the entire group stopped and looked at her.

"Hi, I don't mean to be a bother, but I can't hold them like this forever, so now might be a good time to finish them off?" And with that, the little battle was over. Blackwall just stood there with his jaw practically open.

"Chargers, stand down!" Came the hulking voice of Iron Bull, Samira could now finally get a good look at. She walked over to him, making sure her eyes had returned to normal to not scare him off.

"Chargers, stand down!" Came the hulking voice of Iron Bull, Samira could now finally get a good look at. She walked over to him, making sure her eyes had returned to normal to not scare him off.

"Krem! How'd we do?" He walked a few paces forward to check on his men before addressing the Herald. Samira gave a friendly wave to the messenger she met at Haven, now having a name to the face.

"Five or six wounded, Chief. No dead." Krem gave a quick glance of acknowledgment to the mage, but was all eyes and ears to the chief.

"That's what I like to hear. Let the throatcutters finish up, then break out the casks." The Qunari instructed his second, getting a nod back. Samira strode forward with staff in hand, almost wanting to take her time so she can eye Iron Bull up and down.

 _What a beast._

"So you're with the Inquisition, huh? Glad you could make it. Come on, have a seat. Drinks are coming." His huge arm moved out as he gestured, showing how much of a behemoth he was compared to her.

 _And those horns!_

"I uh, hear you're looking for work." Samira was practically ashamed of herself for stuttering, she never stuttered.

"I am! Not before my drink though.' He cocked his head to the side and beckoned her to sit on a nearby rock.

"I haven't had a good drink in Maker knows how long." Samira glanced back before sitting and saw Blackwall was by the ocean cleaning his blade.

"I assume you remember Cremisius Aclassi? My lieutenant." He pointed to Krem who reported back.

"A welcome sight, surely." Samira nodded, trying her hand at professional courtesy.

"Good to see you again. Throatcutters are done, Chief."

"Already? Have them check again. I don't want any of those Tevinter bastards getting away. No offense, Krem." He gave a small chuckle low in his throat.

"None taken. At least a bastard knows who his mother was. Puts him one up on you Qunari, right?" Krem slyly said as he turned and walked away.

"Oh, a mercenary group with a sense of humor? How delightful! I knew I would like you bunch." Samira put her hand on her left hip all attitude, not meaning to sound sarcastic.

"That we do. So...you've seen us fight. We're expensive, but we're worth it...and I'm sure the Inquisition can afford us."

"Hmmm, how much is this going to cost me, exactly? Because I'll have to run it through my accountant and you know how that goes: 'you're spending too much money!' 'well, it wouldn't be that much if you weren't stealing from me!' and now I don't have an accountant any more. Problem solved!" Samira became animated in the perfect way, bringing on her best impression of a tight pants accountant that so happened to be crooked on the side.

"Ha! I like you. It wouldn't cost you anything personally, unless you wanna buy drinks later." Iron Bull exclaimed lightly.

"That can be arranged, I appreciate a well earned drink, but it's even better with good company." Samira raised an eyebrow, she felt vibes from him.

"We can go through your ambassador-Josephine? We'll set the payments up through her. Don't worry about the gold, all that matters is we're worth it." He reassured her, making sure to close the deal.

"I think we can use your guys, and maybe I could find specific uses to fit...your talents?" She probed, laughing internally but not caring if she made an ass of herself.

"Oh yeah, you're not just getting the boys. You're getting me. You need a front line bodyguard, I'm your man. Demons, dragons? The bigger the better! And I'm not bad company for the after celebration too, I even do private parties." He wiggled his eyebrow, jesting with her.

"Do you dance as well?"

"If I must. There's just one other thing. Might be useful, might piss you off."

 _Just please don't say you're into men and just like teasing women like me!_

"Ever heard of the Ben-Hassrath?"

 _Whew, I don't think it's going in that direction._

"Qunari organization, right? I forget exactly what they do, but I know it must be important."

"I'm a spy for them. They're concerned about the Breach. Magic out of control like that could cause trouble everywhere. I've been ordered to join the Inquisition, get close to the people in charge, and sent reports on what's happening. Don't worry, it would go both ways. You sign me on, and I'll share them with your people."

"And here I was thinking you just wanted to get to know me based on my mysterious look and charm. Oh well, at least you're honest." She blew a stray piece of hair away from her eye in mock defeat.

"Who says I can't still appreciate a good woman?" Iron Bull shrugged, trading back subtle compliments showing he could test her social boundaries.

"So you're saying there's a chance! Shall we talk more on the road to Haven? You're in." She flashed a pearly smile and nodded a confirmation to Blackwall who was now waiting to the side as a respect to privacy.

"Excellent! Krem, tell the men to finish drinking on the road. The Chargers just got hired!" Iron Bull proclaimed proudly with Samira at his side.

"What about the casks, chief? We just opened them up. With axes." Krem's pleading tone was almost funny, but Samira stifled a smile.

"Find some way to way to seal them. You're Tevinter, right? Try blood magic." It was a good thing Samira was a decent read of character, or else she would have thought he was being serious.

"I might be able to help with that." She chimed in.

"Eh, let em work for it. We'll meet you back at Haven." Iron Bull said, finishing up at his makeshift camp with his crew before heading out.

 _I hope its not awkward with Blackwall after that display and his reaction._

"So, uh it appears you're a mage?" He awkwardly asked her.

"When you put it like that, I prefer to be called a magician. Get it, cus I pulled a staff out of a pouch, eh? Oh, you have no idea how long I've waited to use that one!" Once again, Samira relied on her humor to smooth things over, and it appeared to work.

"Very funny. I just, had no idea. Didn't know a mage could hide it so well." He shuffled his foot against a pebble, trying to think of something better to say.

"Yeah, well that is what I'm good at. Now that we've got that out in the open, is that going to be a problem?" She exhaled, hoping he accepted her as she was.

 _Or being around each other might get awkward._

"No, my lady. There are good and bad to every group of people. Everyone deserves a second chance." He looked up at her and his expression seemed sort of hopeful.

"And now we're back to her gracious lady bits!" She exclaimed, smiling at the ridiculousness of her statement.

"Lady bits? Where in Maker's balls did you get that from?" The look on his face was puzzled, stopping him in his tracks.

"I've been hanging out with Sera too much. If you value common decency you might want to avoid her. She's bit of a loose cannon! I love her all the same, makes me feel like the normal one in the group."

"I'll keep that in mind." And with that, they started the arduous journey back to Haven, now choosing to travel a full circle around the huge Lake Calenhad, past Orzammar and finally back to the Frostbacks.

 _Well, I did want to see Thedas!_

 ** _A/N: So, what did you think of her meeting Bull and Blackwall? Next chapter is smut, I swear. -Erulastiel_**


	4. The bear, the maiden fair, and the beast

**Chapter 4: The bear, the maiden fair, and the beast**

Samira had lost track of how long it took to get back to Haven, but she knew they took their time for at least the sake of the horses. As soon as she got back, all she wanted to do was crash into her bed, grateful to sleep on something solid that didn't leave her back aching, but she had business to attend to first.

She first checked in with Master Dennet to make sure Raven was properly cared for.

"I know you're protective of her, but trust me. She's fine. All these horses are bred for these sort of things. If I thought you were pushing her too far, I would say so."

"If you say so. Here, I'd say she's earned this." Samira tossed a bag of sugar cubes to the horsemaster.

"You're going to spoil her!" He called out to her as she looked over her shoulder.

"She's been spoiled since day one, too late for that!" As she turned around, she unexpectedly bumped into the one person she was dreading the most coming back to.

"Cullen! It's been a minute. How are you?" She tried to make it as polite and not awkward as possible, but she wasn't sure it was working. Somehow, she got the feeling he was still in Romeo mode.

"Eagerly awaiting your return, a bit too much I shouldn't admit." He stepped closer to her, and she suddenly became very nervous.

 _Ugh, how am I going to talk my way out of this one? I guess I'm just going to have to rip the bandage off._

She looked over his shoulder and saw Iron Bull, and then an idea sparked in her mind, but before she really thought it through, she found herself blurbing at the mouth.

"Look, Cullen, we should talk. I'm afraid I have some bad news. For you. Something happened on my trip." Samira nervously fidgeted with the leather straps that were bound across her chest, still stealing glances over at the Iron Bull, who by now had noticed something was up. She continued on with the worst speech ever in the world, speaking a little more loudly.

"It was all so very sudden, but I've met someone!"

 _Andraste's tits, this is so embarrassing._

"What? I don't understand, I thought we had a good night together! If you don't mind me asking, who is it?" Flustered, Cullen made it even harder on her. She felt totally like a blithering, idiotic cunt for the whole situation and she could feel her cheeks redden to the max as she secretly panicked.

"Hey, what's going on Boss?" Suddenly Iron Bull was next to her side with his arm lightly resting around her hip, claiming what was appeared to be his.

"Iron Bull! Well, this is rather awkward…" Samira shifted her gaze down to the ground but after a moment went with his lead.

"I'm sorry, I don't believe we've met. Who are you?" The Iron Bull took over now, and Cullen wasn't exactly pleased with that.

"I am Commander Cullen, I command the Inquisition's forces. And you are?" Cullen's voice had changed from confusion and hurt to indignation.

"Yeah, I got that from the commander part. And I'm sure you heard this fine piece of ass say Iron Bull. Us Qunari don't have 'regular' people names." Iron Bull said so casually, and yet did not seem to notice or care how much of a turn on it was.

 _Oh, he knows._

"So this is your-?"

"He's my lover, yes!" Samira spit out, almost wanting to laugh but she had to keep a straight face.

"I just couldn't help myself, Cullen. I am truly sorry for any grievance I have caused you. I hope we can still be friends." Although part of her statement was secretly sarcastic, and had a humorous undertone (Varric would have been laughing his ass off if he could see this, and Samira was glad he wasn't) she still did mean it deep down. She didn't want to lose a friend over her callousness, but she couldn't give him what he wanted regardless of her lover status.

 _This way is just so much easier. I hate 'breaking up' with someone and trying to explain how I am to them. If I feel the need to break things off, there is a high probability they wouldn't understand who I am deep down._

"If this is what you want, I respect that. Good day to you both, I have training to get back to." And just like that, days and days of impending dread was over.

"Yeah, we've got business in the tavern!" Iron Bull proceeded to slap her on the ass, walking away with her until they were well out of sight of the commander.

"That went rather well, don't you think?" Samira breathed a sigh of relief and laughed.

"I'd usually ask for an explanation, but I don't think I need one this time." He said as they walked to The Singing Maiden and ordered drinks.

"It was just a stupid, drunken mistake I was regretting half way through the whole thing with him! It was literally the night before I left for my trip. I couldn't get away faster!" They laughed over their drinks together, Bull clearly amused but happy to help.

"I hope you don't mind me saying this, but what the hell were you thinking with him?"

"There was a lot of alcohol involved and shame too, can't forget that." She said, drinking heavily. This was one of those times she needed to unwind, and drinking with a man like Bull required a certain amount of alcohol to keep up.

"Seems like you need a real man." Bull quietly said, so no one could hear. Samira was caught off guard, almost coughing up her ale.

"Now, that is a first. No one's ever made me do that! Anyways, don't you really mean something else?" Samira leaned into Bull's arm, feeling her body become very warm from the alcohol.

"Are you sure you're not Ben-Hassrath? Because you read me almost as well as I can read you, and I've had years of training." She didn't know if that was a compliment or not, but she decided to take it as one.

"Aww. You're sort of sweet in your own Qunari way! No, I mean it! You think I'm joking? You get me, Bull. I like that." Samira cut herself off before she started any more rambling, she was known to do that when she got too drunk.

If it got bad, she would mumble about all sorts of things, the end of the world being on her shoulders, her shitty parents, corny jokes at a bad attempt to lighten her mood, which then would inevitably be followed by some insane attempt to prove she was the best in the world at the things she did. That usually entailed something dare-devilish that actually had nothing to do with the things she was good at. Those were things Samira decided was best to do if at all behind closed doors, not for all the people of Haven to see.

"I like you too." He finished off both of their remaining ales.

"So, tell me Bull, what's your read of me?" She asked, putting her elbow up on the table and cradling her head in her hand.

"If you really want to know that, I don't think I should tell you here with all these people." Bull winked mischievously at her, sobering her up a bit in response.

"I think I know of somewhere, more private where we can share that important information." She whispered the instructions of where to meet her, but this time waited to go there first.

As promised, when she arrived at the small empty cabin down the beaten path (this location was of course outside Haven's walls as well) she saw a candle burning bright from the window. Iron Bull awaited her. She was never so nervous in her life when meeting a man, and this time it was a good thing.

"Good, I'm glad you came. I was worried I might have to come rescue you from Cullen's clutches, or something." He mused, sitting in a chair at a desk to the window.

"Then you must have an active imagination, because I think he got the hint when you grabbed my ass." She leaned against the wall nearest to him, thinking of what may come next.

"I think I got the hint too." He said, his voice lower than usual.

"Oh? Is this the part where you tell me your read of me? Pray tell." Samira walked forward and now rested her behind against the side of the table where he sat.

"You are a little minx. You walk around hiding your flirtations as teases, but I know what you really want deep down." He stood up and faced her, his tall and formidable body looming over hers.

"Tell me what I want." Samira almost quietly said, she could feel her pulse doubled from its usual pace, and the agonizing need started to pull at her body.

"While you're out there kicking ass against people who stand against us or sitting in that tavern listening to Cassandra go on, you're thinking about me and what I'm going to do to you. You secretly want me to bend you over that table and take you, making you scream out my name." Iron Bull deliberately said it slowly, letting it creep through her ears and sink into her skin, giving her chills.

 _Maker, thank you! I have been delivered!_

While Samira was silently celebrating in her mind, she chose her next moves carefully. She beckoned him to lean down so she could whisper next to his ear, placing her hands softly against his bare, broad chest.

"And do you want to know what I think?" She paused and heard a yes.

"You're going to fuck me like you've never fucked a woman before, and then I'm going to ride you until you're ." With that, she took a quick, harmless nip to his ear relishing the feeling he was giving her.

"We might be here all night then." Samira didn't need to reply to that, Iron Bull captured her willing lips to his own, picking her body up and wrapping her legs around his hips.

Bull's tongue fought with hers, and even though it seemed to win against her, she still fought with as much ferocity to meet it. That same agonizing need that started to nag at her body when she arrived was on fire now, Samira felt like she would burst if he didn't have her then. She fought the urge, but just barely.

"When's the last time you've had a good fucking?" Bull asked her in between kissing and nibbling at her neck, rather aggressively.

"Never like this." She panted and started to moan as he sucked at her neck.

"We haven't even started yet." He chuckled as he moved to tearing off her clothes piece by piece.

"Oh, believe me, I just know!" The leather quickly unbuckled and revealed her supple breasts, already ripe for his mouth.

"Apparently so." He rubbed his thumbs over her nipples, enjoying the feel as she writhed under his touch. Samira wanted him to be in control, but she couldn't help herself to touching him and doing her own thing as he grabbed at her tits.

"Your turn." She quickly undid his harness that covered his left shoulder and began to stroke his member through his pants.

"Mhm. How bad do you want that?" He murmured, his hands now undoing her pants.

"More than anything. I want your cock deep inside of me. I don't care how big it is, and I can tell it is." He stripped her pants down off of her and marvelled at her now naked form before him.

His pants quickly followed suit, allowing his member to spring forward in all its glory before her. He proudly stood there for a moment, letting her look at all of him as he did the same to her. Before she could say or do anything, he pushed her up against the desk for support and immediately dropped down at an angle to settle his face in between her legs.

 _Maker, what is he doing to me? No one's ever done that before!_

Samira almost became light headed at the foreign sensation of Iron Bull's tongue darting back and forth against her clit, bringing her the most pleasure a man has ever brought her.

"Oh, sweet Maker!" She panted as the pleasure rolled through her core to her feet in waves, making her want to curl her toes. When he dared dart his tongue in and out of her, her knees threatened to buckle beneath her. Only the table kept her from collapsing as climax rolled off her multiple times at once.

"What is it that you just did?" She asked, breathless as he finished, wiping her off his chin.

"That was a tongue fucking. Gets you loosened up for the real thing. And I just really like doing that. You taste good." He bent down to kiss her, she tasted herself and wondered what that fuss was all about. This time around it Samira's turn to return the favor. She bit his lip and bent down, face to head, so to speak and took him in her mouth.

"Oh, Kadaan. Oooh yeah, oh I am going to fuck you so hard. Starting with that pretty little mouth." She teased his head with just her tongue, moving it in circles and lapped up the precum that dripped from the tip, until he couldn't take the lack of control any more.

He took her by the face and started to guide her mouth up and down his shaft, hearing her muffled moans just turning him on all the more. His guiding hands transitioned to thrusts of the hips and by then he was full on fucking her mouth, but she didn't protest. Bull knew this was all she wanted and more. He kept thrusting savagely until he finally ejaculated into her mouth, slightly surprised she took all of it and even swallowed!

Samira felt like she never had before, it was a cross between barbaric and erotic for her. That was enough to get her off, but she wanted more. She needed more of him.

"I think you know what comes next." He said as he pulled her back up to him and laid her on top of the desk.

"Oh, yes, please continue Chief." She adjusted herself right at the edge of the desk and prepared herself. Bull stroked himself as he drunk in her perfect naked body before him, then without any more delay, positioned himself at her entrance.

"I don't think your tight cunt is going to be ready for me, Samira." He rubbed his head around her entrance, probing and causing her walls to ooze wetness.

"Bull, I'd rather take all of your cock, ready or not, than wait any longer for you to be inside me." She decided not to use her magic to prepare herself, as crazy as that probably was going to be, she wanted all of him naturally.

 _Pain or pleasure, I want to feel all of him!_

"Can't say I didn't warn you. Here goes." He slowly but surely pushed his member just inside her entrance at first, and when that part was in, he harshly slammed into her. It was like she saw stars, but she didn't care. Samira wanted that feeling mixed with pain and pleasure, regardless of how sore she knew she would be later.

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" She screamed out in ecstasy as he pounded into the deepest part of her.

"Mmmm, yeah what's my name?" He grunted as he continued to thrust fast and hard into her.

"Iron Bull! Iron Bull, fuck me Iron Bull!" She moaned so loudly she was glad she picked the cabin she did.

"IRON FUCKING BULL! That's right you sexy little minx!" He yelled out in triumph as he felt her walls clenching around him when her climax hit again and again.

Samira tossed her head from side to side, not knowing what to do with herself. Her body trembled from all of the sensation, and her natural magic ability only intensified it. It didn't help that regardless of all of that, Bull continued to thrust into her repeatedly, even after his climax came. He poured himself into her, his seed even more than last time.

"Whew, let me guess: there's more?" She mischievously asked him as he pulled out of her.

"Mmm, you read my mind." He pulled the chair up and sat in it, beckoning her over to him. When she got off the table, he could tell her legs were pretty wobbly, so he drew her over without much effort on her part. Sitting her astride him, with her back touching his chest, he once again settled back into her. This time was a little bit easier for Samira to take, her walls still open.

"Is that what you want, for me to ride you, Bull?" Her voice sounded like velvet now. She had regained some of her composure to speak more coherently and she used her voice as seduction to keep him hard.

"You know how to keep me rock hard. Go ahead and ride the Bull!" This time he relaxed back a bit and let her do what she wanted. Moving her hips in circles, she used the muscles within her to clench onto him, knowing that would drive him wild.

"I don't know how you do that, but it's working!" He buried his face into her neck when she leaned backwards, still gyrating her hips at a perfect motion.

"Your cock feels so good inside me…" Samira murmured as he started to move his hips back to meet hers in perfect rhythm.

"And your cunt is the wettest I've ever been with." He murmured back, both lost in their own words that in itself kept each other going. As she continued to rock back and forth on him, he reached his fingers down to play with and stroke her clit, causing her orgasms to come back in full power like before.

"Oh, Bull, I don't know if I can keep going. I just want you to come inside of me!" She protested, not wanting it all to end but knowing her limit was close.

"Your wish is my command." He grabbed her by the hips and took the reigns, thrusting upwards into her, making her practically bounce off of him. They both kept going until Bull perfectly timed it right for them to both orgasm at once, both yelling out in sweet agony.

 _Maker, how long has it been already? It feels like we've been here the whole night…_

"Maybe next time I'll turn you around so I can watch those perfect tits bounce!" Bull joked as they sat together in the chair, catching their breath.

"I bet you'd like to see that. They are rather nice, I suppose." She looked down at herself appreciatively, always confident.

"Now you're just bragging." He tightened his arm around her waist and kept her drawn to him, not quite ready to part yet.

"Like you don't? I'm just following your lead, Chief." She teased right back, suddenly feeling all of her exhaustion finally hit her. Samira found it incredibly easy to start dozing off laying her head against his broad, muscled chest.

"Falling asleep on me, are you? That's a first for me." Bull teased, instantly getting her attention back.

"I haven't had a decent place to sleep in at least a week, I am definitely exhausted." She blew out an exasperated sigh before getting up to gather her clothes.

"I'll take that as a compliment. We better get back, I'm sure you're missing your bed." He rose and the the pair finished up before going their separate ways at the main gate of Haven.

"This was, certainly an education, Bull. One I don't plan on forgetting." She winked at him as they parted ways, Samira trying to hide a limp she was feeling. It was late at night at least, so most of Haven was asleep by now.

 _I need a bath!_

As she slipped into the hot, relaxing water, she thought of the last week of her life. She recruited two valuable new companions to join her on her quest to close the Breach, and finally got her wish.

 _A sorely needed one at that._

If she was going to take this 'Herald of Andraste' business seriously, it would be tomorrow. While she was often preoccupied by her own consuming needs, the needs of the world did not escape her notice. The mark on her hand weighed on her, but it was becoming easier each day to deal with it, she just needed practice.

When she awoke the next morning, that was exactly what she planned on doing. She had closed the Fade Rifts in the Hinterlands, but there was a report of one appearing not far off from Haven now. As she stepped out of her room, she stretched her arms up and outward and was ready to start her day anew.

"What's up your knickers, lady bits?" Sera asked her as Samira arrived at the tavern for breakfast.

"Oh, nothing. Just ready to start my day, you know me." She absentmindedly said into her mug of cider, careful to avoid her accusing gaze.

"Riiiight. I saw you hanging out with that Bull fellow quite a bit last night, and are did I see you walking funny?" The crazy elf prodded an elbow into her side, then cackled her ridiculous laugh.

"Sera, I can't possibly know what you're talking about…" She casually said, but leaned in to add, "But if those loose lips of yours go off, you'll never get that jar of bees I promised you." Samira winked, a smile on her face as she mock threatened her friend.

"Oooh, vicious this one is! Alright then, but you better get me that jar of bees! I need em for Red Jenny stuff, that is." They laughed, Samira knowing Sera knew her limits (a shocker really, as she didn't seem to usually have any) and knowing neither of them would do that to each other.

"So, you taking me out with you today? My hand's been itching to practice with my bow!"

"If you don't mind closing a Fade Rift with me today. I know how you are with those awful demons." Samira teased, knowing that would make her uncomfortable.

"Sheesh, I'm no pansy! I'll just, be at the back of the group...shooting my arrows, like I usually do!" She said in defense, not wanting to show she was afraid.

"Sure, Sera. I know you've got my back. I'm gonna go see if any one else wants to join." Samira rose from her spot, finishing her plate then paying Flissa.

"Don't take too long, my hand's got an itch something terrible!" She called back as the Herald left and sought out who she wanted.

"That ankle healed yet?" Samira asked as she walked up to Varric at his usual spot where he sat in a chair.

"Just about. Did you miss Bianca?" Varric jested, bringing a smile to the woman's face.

"Why, of course! Without you, Sera's my only archer and her bow is no Bianca." She patted him on the shoulder, moving onto the next friend. She walked out the gate and saw Cullen in his usual spot with his trainees, leaving Samira to carefully veer off to the left where Cassandra practiced her sword against a training dummy.

"I heard there was an issue with you and Cullen yesterday. Is everything alright?" She asked, planting her sword into the ground.

"Oh, that. Just a misunderstanding, I'm afraid. It's all taken care of, no need to worry." Samira gestured out in goodwill, hoping that satisfied the Seeker.

"If you say so. I just hope you are staying focused on the task at hand." Cassandra lightly warned, all business per usual.

"You have no complaints from me! I'm actually about to head out to seal that Rift Leliana's scouts reported. Was looking to see if any one wanted to join me." Samira offered, hoping that would show her commitment.

"That's good. I will join you when you're ready. Maybe you should ask the Warden if he'd like to join us. I haven't seen him in battle yet." Cassandra suggested as she went back to her training.

 _Warden Blackwall._

She looked off down the path where Blackwall was stationed next to the forge. He sat on top of a hay stack, whittling at a piece of wood.

"What's that you have there?" She asked him, leaning against the building.

"Oh, this is nothing." He threw it back to the ground and stood up to greet her.

"Cassandra and I were hoping you'd go with us to seal a Rift nearby." She asked him, absentmindedly picking at her fingernails.

"Of course. I've been sitting around too much since I got here." Blackwall picked up his gear from off the ground.

"But you've only just gotten here, silly. Has it even been twenty-four hours?" She snorted, her tone playful.

"Ah, my lady, but I'm used to being on my feet."

"Well, a darker time of my life I was used to the opposite, and it just made me want to get out all the more." Samira commented, not meaning to give much of herself away.

"Oh?" He turned to her, as if in understanding.

 _Well, besides all that messy darkspawn mess, what's a typical Warden life like? I wouldn't think it would be very dark besides the obvious. But he's looking at me like he's gone through some shit._

"I'd rather not talk about it." Blackwall accepted that after hesitating for a moment, then turned to look at the chaotic Breach in the sky.

"Maker...look at it. So much easier to ignore when it's far away. And to actually walk out of it, to be that close?" Blackwall said sympathetically.

"We could go right up to it now, if you're that curious."

"I'm going to have to decline...at least until I learn more about it."

"Can't say I blame you there, it worries me too." Samira felt a chill run down her spine as she talked about it. The mark on her hand pulled at her whenever she thought too much into it.

 _This mark is powerful, but being held accountable for something so big like this, is a lot to swallow on one mage._

Samira hoped that with each new Rift encounter, she would become more confident in her ability to shoulder it all, and for the most part, it was becoming easier each time.

"Just one question, then. How do you think you fit into all of this?" Blackwall asked the big question, one that everyone asked with scrutiny, whether they meant to or not.

"I...I'm still working on that, but I know I want to help fix things. This crazy war needs to be put back into order." She not only said to him, but also to herself.

Before all this mess had happened, Samira was so ready to live her life finally, and when the conclave was destroyed, that had put a stop to all of her plans. She was a hesitant participant with her role in stopping the Breach from growing, but once she had been around the Inquisition, she found herself slowly falling in love with the idea of being a part of something greater.

"A worthy goal, one I'm happy to support. For me, I'll be satisfied so long we find the bastards that killed the Divine. They owe us some answers." Blackwall's voice turned almost vengeful, full of the promise of justice which Samira admired.

"I hope that's not the only reason you stay here with us. You're strangely charming for a man I found wandering the forest."

"I always thought myself more odd than charming, but I'll take a compliment from a lady. They're hard to come by these days." The warden said with his arms crossed.

"Compliments or ladies? I didn't think either were in short supply." Samira thought to point him in the direction of the tavern, but a voice in her head instinctively shot that idea down, which Samira thought was odd of herself to think.

"Both." Blackwall chuckled before continuing, "Maybe I wasn't looking hard enough."

"You were in the middle of the forest, I suppose."

"So, is there something large and heavy you need moved?"

"That would be a waste of your particular talents." Samira watched Blackwall perk up slightly and grinned at him.

"Oh, really?" His voice dipped as he said it, making Samira giggle on the inside at the silliness of it all.

"You're much better suited to standing in front of dragons while they try to eat you." She quipped, always knowing the right thing to say.

"I have to say, my lady, you're unlike any woman I've ever met. Your wit and charm is beyond your years. I'm flattered you'd spend any time with me. I...enjoy your company."

"Thank you, I actually appreciate hearing that from a respectable man like you. So, ready to head out?" She picked up her staff and brought him with her to collect Sera and Cassandra.


	5. Finding a protector in him

**Chapter 5: Finding a protector in him**

Every chance she got, Samira leaped away from the horde of wraiths and demons (that her companions kept distracted) to work at closing the rift. Her left hand was outstretched shaking from the green pull of energy connecting her to the rift, but she did not break the contact. With each attempt, Samira felt it weakened, temporarily weakening the demons as well.

"Oh, piss off demon!" Sera cried out as one scratched at her before she jumped away and landed several arrows in its direction.

"I'm coming, Sera!" Samira began to weave her staff back and forth in motions while the tip exploded in fire dancing around her targets. When she saw her friend was out of danger, she went back to sealing the rift, she could feel its resistance was faint now.

"Herald, look out!" Blackwall yelled out to her, but it was too late. Just as she was a fraction away from completely sealing it, one last remaining Rage Demon tackled her hard into a nearby rock, knocking her breath from her body. Just as she landed, the rift shut down, taking the demon with it.

"My lady!" Samira's eyes opened after a moment, her body gasping for air, the uncomfortable feeling sinking into her stomach. Blackwall was the first to reach her, protectively placing his hands to check if she was hurt.

"Frigging demon's!" Sera exclaimed in anger.

"Damn...that one...really took my breath away!" She joked, even though her breathing was still ragged as it slowly went back to normal.

"Samira, you joke now?" Cassandra annoyingly said, pretending to not have been worried for her.

"Course I am. You know me." Samira noticed Blackwall's hands still gently placed to her skin, his hands cool to the touch.

"That was quite the tumble." His gloves were off now, and as he pulled her to her feet she felt her hands ignite with a tingling sensation.

 _That's different for me. I haven't felt that sensation stir since…_

Her thoughts turned to the long lost mage she never wanted to remember. When she stood face to face with Blackwall, her body betrayed her to a blush of scarlet in her cheeks.

"You two done with your hot pants talk? These demons got me feeling something terrible!" Sera accused, but also teasing.

"Sera, I'll never be able to guess how you come up with these phrases." Samira sighed, shrugging off the moment as her feelings started to get muddled.

 _And that I don't like._

The group returned, Samira walking slower than the others, not wanting to strain herself too much as she felt lightheaded.

"Boss! How'd you do? You look like shit!" Iron Bull exclaimed to her as they approached the main gate.

"How crude." Cassandra commented, as she dropped her gear off by a tent.

"Ugh, I could use a good massage after that fight. Or, a rather steamy bath would do as well." She groaned as she popped her staff back into its secret compartment.

"She looks like something terrible. Weren't you watching her?" Iron Bull casually accused Blackwall.

"By the time I saw the demon coming for her, it was too late." Blackwall raised an eyebrow, not taking kindly to his comment.

"Well, that wouldn't have happened if I was there. You should have invited me, Boss! You know how I love a good ass kicking." He grunted, no doubt imagining himself slaying demons in wicked fashion, axe in hand.

"Now, now, men. As flattered as I am by this display of manly...manliness, it was my fault really. And as tempting as this has been to watch, I really must retire!" She held her hands together in mock prayer, asking them to forgive her leaving them to banter with each other.

 _Maker's breath, my back! It feels like I strained it with how I fell on that rock. At least I didn't hit my head, or something more drastic._

Unbuckling her tall dark brown boots first, she quickly wriggled out of her pants and found the robe she usually tossed on the floor and put it on over her naked form. Her room overlooked the grounds, it was the attic that used to be used for storage in the Chantry, until the Inquisition commandeered it.

 _At least there's just enough privacy here, and it's spacious enough._

Just as she was about to settle into her bed, a knock came at the door at the bottom of the stairs.

"This better be-" She said before looking at who was at her door.

"Good? Oh yes, Kadaan." Iron Bull said, his eyes immediately drawn to her chest, as her nipples were starting to poke through the fabric of the robe.

"Oh, well hello there. Didn't expect you. Come on up." She beckoned him in and led him up the stairs.

"So what brings you here, Iron Bull?" She pretended to not notice his erection was already fighting against his pants.

"I thought I could help you unwind with that massage you were hinting to me." He wiggled his eyebrows deviously at her, luring her in.

"Oh, that would be fantastic. Won't you please oil me up?" She grabbed a bottle from the nightstand and handed it to him.

"Love to." Bridging the distance between the two, he untied her robe and let it fall to her feet. Samira placed her hands on his chest, leaning up to kiss him and felt the tickle of the black scruff that adorned his jaw. He bid her to lay down on her stomach, and started to lather her back up with the oil.

"Oooh, are you going to get me all wet?" Samira mused, almost being tickled by the oil dripping onto her skin.

"You could say that." Bull's strong hands began to work it into her back, kneading her muscles with just enough attention to not hurt. He even went so far to work his way down rubbing more oil, this time on her behind.

"Mmmm, the things I could do this." He murmured almost to himself.

"Oh my, I don't think I'm ready for that!" Samira laughed, unable to picture what that experience would be like with anyone, let alone Bull. Bull lightly smacked her butt (earning a yelp from her) before re-positioning himself to kneel right in between her legs, which he spread.

"Are you checking for flexibility?" Samira wanted to turn around and kiss him, but he made her stay laying down on her belly.

"I can tell you're flexible. I'll be testing that, just not tonight." Before Samira could respond to that, Iron Bull pulled her hips upwards, her face now down into the pillow and buried his face into her core once again.

"Shit! Oh, I love that." She practically cooed into the pillow as his mouth did its work on her clitoris, alternating between sucking and licking it.

"What's that? It's sort of hard to hear you when I'm buried in your wet cunt." He rose up, his lips glistening with her juices. She turned over to face him.

"Iron Bull, I know you definitely heard me. You make me want to do dirty things with you." Samira grabbed at her breast with one hand, her womanhood with the other, clearly teasing him.

 _If he knew magic, I'd swear he puts some sort of spell on me. It's addicting._

"Careful, Herald, if you tease me too much I might bend you over my knee and spank you very hard. And that's not what I want to do right now." His eyes were dark with lust, his erection still poking hard through his pants.

"Take me now." Samira said, desperately wanting him inside of her.

"Very tempting. I'm going to need you to turn back over and use that pillow. You're going to need it." Iron Bull went back to his leader voice, commanding her, which she loved.

Positioning her behind back up in the air, he started to slip his index finger in and out of her slowly this time. Samira started to buck her hips back and forth, moaning into the pillow as he casually played with her hidden spot that drove her to the brink. Every time she would get close, he'd withdraw just enough to stop her from climaxing.

"No fair!" She cried out, pleading for him to give her a release.

"In due time, Kadaan." He began to place two fingers inside of her now, keeping the same slow, cruel pace, but it was more intense now.

"Do I dare ask for a third?" She asked boldly, smiling into the pillow.

"Oh, you're getting three definitely. Might even work you up to four eventually, but that's another time." He wasted no time with the third, thrusting them in and out of her.

"I was going to say...if you continued, your whole hand...would become sopping wet!"

"Maybe I can arrange that?"

"Maker, no! I do have my limits." She said indignantly, protesting before he did something to really hurt her.

"Aha, I knew there was at least one. Now, relax for me." Withdrawing his fingers, he reached down and pulled his member through his pants and lightly rubbed it against her.

"Mmmm, have I been a naughty minx again?" Samira teased, feeling her nerves go on fire.

"Fuck yes you were, you didn't take me with you. And here's your punishment!" The Iron Bull's way of 'punishment' was taking things slow, as he knew Samira would consider it cruel.

"Oh dear!" She cried out as he smacked the tip against her entrance, making a sound.

"Your cunts already got my head wet!" He threw his head back in pleasure as he moved himself into her, this time moving his hips in circles instead of thrusting directly into her.

"Bull…" Samira moaned at his gyrations, her toes starting to curl up.

"Babe, you are so tight around my cock. I might cum all over that ass!" His words stirred her to move back against him, wanting him to move deeper and faster.

"Your cock is so big…" Samira mumbled among other things as her thoughts became lost to coherency.

"You bet those perky tits of yours it is!" He started to pick up his pace finally, still purposely keeping her orgasm just at bay to Samira's dismay.

"Smack my ass!" Samira panted, feeling like the man turned her into an animal. She had never dreamed a man would unlock such primal behavior from her, so she thanked the maker over and over. Iron Bull happily delivered, smacking at her ass causing him to start pounding into her from all the pheromones running through his system.

"Do you want to cum?"

"Yes, please let me!" She pleaded, stifling her moans into the pillow once again.

"And what do you say?"

"Please let me cum from your thick cock, Iron Bull!" She exclaimed, surprised at what he did to her.

"That's my girl." He began to fuck her with wild abandon, no longer holding himself back and staying consistent so her pleasure could build.

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Samira cried out, her orgasm rocking her body even more than usual because of the position he had her in. Iron Bull quickly pulled out and spilled himself all over her behind, careful not to get any on the sheets. Her whole body collapsed into the bed, spent from Bull taking her.

"Sweet Andraste, what have you done to me?" She practically gasped in surprise to herself as Bull cleaned her off. Before she flipped over, he placed kisses from her backside upwards, sending chills as he reached her neck.

"I could ask the same of you. You are very addicting. Hard to resist, especially that rack." He looked her up and down but resisted the urge to ravage her again.

"Aww, flatterer. If we keep this up, I don't know if I'll ever get around to closing the Breach!"

"We can't have that." Bull frowned, not wanting to shirk from duty.

"Have you no faith in me? I may be teetering on the edge of a sex addict, but I do have a life." Samira chided him, but followed it up with a soft smile.

"With a title like 'Herald of Andraste', I can believe that. Anyways, I'd ask if you want me to stay, but your bed's too small for even just me." He shrugged, fastening his pants back into place.

 _I don't know how I would feel about that. Sleeping in a bed with someone is...well it's foreign to me. Didn't I have a friend who once told me to never let them spend the night?_

"Understood, Chief!" She saluted him as he bid her a good night.

"Whew! Two nights with Bull now…" Samira trailed off, her subconscious randomly bringing Blackwall to the forefront, past her thoughts of Iron Bull.

"Maker, what is wrong with me? I flirt with him a few times and he just keeps coming up!" Samira threw her hands up in exasperation, confused by herself. Whenever this happened, she got these weird, warm feelings in the chest that were hard to push away. Resigning herself, she peeled back the covers and forced herself to sleep.

 **A/N: Yes, I know there's a lot of focus on the "Iron Bull fuck fest" LOL but I promise that's not all there is here. *Wink wink Blackwall fans***


	6. Change of plans

**A/N: Not gonna lie, this is sort of a filler chapter, but a necessary one for plot purposes, but its a quick one because I only want to give enough to transition the story forward, so sometimes you'll see shortened versions of what was said in the game, little change ups here and there.**

 **P.S. Shout out to hannahhobnob for following and Izzyboopers for following/favoriting this story early on, you're awesome!**

 **Chapter 6: Change of plans**

A few weeks had gone by since Bull and Blackwall had joined the Inquisition, and now it was finally time for them to make their move to recruit the mages to help seal the Breach. The events that started to unfold once they arrived at Redcliffe only served as the beginning of a headache for Samira.

"First we see time distorting around a rift, now the Tevinter are occupying Redcliffe? Something's not right here." She said before they approached one of their scouts.

"We spread word the Inquisition was coming, but you should know no one here was expecting us."

"Not even Grand Enchanter Fiona? She was the one who told me to meet her here, she must have memory loss or something." A confused look played on Samira's face.

"If she was, she hasn't told anyone. We set up the negotiation at the tavern." Another man, this one an elf walked up and addressed the group.

"Agents of the Inquisition, my apologies! Magister Alexius is in charge now. He's expected shortly. You can speak with the former Grand Enchanter in the mean time."

"Ugh, I can feel this is going to be a migraine later!" Samira scrunched up her nose, not looking forward to the meeting. Without any more delay, the group saddled up their horses again and made their way down to Redcliffe, which was not far off.

Just was her luck, that the meeting left more questions than answers.

"An alliance with Tevinter? Do you not fear all of Thedas turning against you?" Cassandra was the first to question the mage leader, thinking her insane.

"Andraste's ass...I'm trying to think of a single worse thing you could have done. And I've got nothing." Varric lamented unlike himself, the center of the group.

"I understand you are afraid...but you deserve better than slavery to Tevinter." Even Solas said something, the topic of mages being very important to him, only behind his concern and interest in the Fade.

When Fiona replied that she wasn't in the position to negotiate for the mages any more, Samira almost slammed her fist against something. She settled for blowing hot air out and gritting her teeth.

"What about the giant hole in the sky? As someone who escaped the Circle, I was hoping you and I could work together!" Samira did her best to keep her voice even.

 _I swear, they're useless. This is why I never made friends in the Circle. They talk about freedom and wanting rights, but what are they doing to actually help the world? Why am I the only one willing to risk my staff and do something?_

"I'm not forgetting about that, but we can only do so much at a time. We'd be of no help if we were destroyed." She knew Fiona was full of regret, but that didn't make it any better.

"You're not help if you're all slaves either. I-"

"Welcome, my friends!" Came a voice from the entrance that interrupted the grief Samira was giving the mage.

"Inquisition, this is Magister Gereon Alexius."

"The southern mages are under my command now. And you are the survivor, yes? The one from the Fade? Interesting." The Tevinter spoke as if he had a personal interest in her for some reason.

"I see that, and yes, in the flesh. Since you've taken leadership, rather suddenly, I hope we can arrange something with the mages."

"Always a pleasure to meet a reasonable woman." The Magister gestured her to sit with him at a table while he spoke with his son Felix.

They traded words for a few moments about the mages, until Felix came back stumbling practically into Samira's arms.

 _What's wrong with him? I can feel something off about his energy…_

"My lady, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me." The young man said embarrassed.

"You're forgiven, just don't die on me!"

 _Or at least not in front of me._

"Come, I'll get your powders. Please excuse me, friends. We will have to continue this another time." Alexius helped his son up, but not before the boy slipped her a piece of paper secretly.

"Good day, my lord." Samira bowed her head to the men and waited for them to leave before reading the message.

"What it say?" Varric asked.

"'Come to the Chantry. You are in danger.' that's all it says." Samira said in a cryptic voice to match the note.

"Oh very mysterious!"

"We should be careful, we don't know what awaits us." Cassandra said ominously.

"Of course." Samira nodded and then they were off again to find the Chantry that wasn't far off. After they stumbled on a man named Dorian Pavus (fighting demons coming out of a rift in the middle of the Chantry), they wasted no time dispensing of them.

"You don't even know how that thing works, do you? You just wiggle your fingers, and boom! Rift closes."

"Hey, I like to think there's a little finger finesse involved. Now, tell me: what's going on?" She placed her hands on her hips, all business now that she cut out the silver tongue.

"Let's start with Alexius claiming the mages out from under you. As if by magic, yes? To reach Redcliffe before the Inquisition, Alexius distorted time itself." The Tevinter mage said, his curled mustache slightly twitching at the idea.

"As much as I want to believe that's not possible, we saw that on our way here." Samira said, her brow furrowed.

"Soon, there will be more like it. The magic Alexius is using is wildly unstable, and its unraveling the world. I know what I'm talking about, I helped develop this magic. It was just pure theory when I was his apprentice, but he could never get it to work. What I don't understand is why he's doing it. Ripping time to shreds just for this?" Dorian wondered, petting his mustache in thought.

Then came the revelation from Felix, stepping up to explain that Alexius had joined the Venatori, which certainly explained the power grab.

"I can't stay in Redcliffe. Alexius doesn't know I'm here, and I want to keep it that way. But whenever you're ready to deal with him, I want to be there. I'll be in touch."

"So...anyone hungry?" Varric asked, making Samira glad she wasn't the only one that wanted to break up the atmosphere. It was heavy with crazy magic and plots against the Inquisition, and Samira didn't want her headache to get worse as it was.

"No, but I could use a good drink." She said as the group left.

 **A/N: So, I have to say at the time of this posting I just saw the Trespasser DLC trailer and it looks amazing! So much drama and crazyness seems to be happening in it. I think it'll be worth the 30 hour download my PS4 is taking to get it. I'm definitely looking forward to seeing how I can include that towards the end of the story. But, I'm getting ahead of myself! Next chapter is entirely focused on In Hushed Whispers, I think it's going to be a small, but important stepping stone for Samira as a leader and emotionally.**


	7. A future she saw

**A/N: First of all, kudos to Greenwick for your awesome review/story favorite/follow it's appreciated! I'm glad you like the writing style and how I'm not all typical lovey dovey lol I like writing love stories, just not stereotypical ones.**

 **On another note, this chapter took slightly longer to write since I got stuck working a bunch. This chapter is entirely on In hushed whispers. Hope you all enjoy! -Erulastiel**

 **Chapter 7: A future she saw**

"You were saying something about...Cullen?" Josephine said as the leaders of the Inquisition gathered around the war table.

"Hmm? I-yes. Haven has limited space for our soldiers to train. Perhaps we could set up something over here." Samira heard the two make idle chat, while she stared at the map. Cassandra and Leliana patiently waited on her input.

"We need to take Alexius out." She finally said, cutting their conversation off without realizing.

"We don't have the manpower to take the castle! Either we find another way in, or give up this nonsense and go get the Templars!" It was no secret Cullen prefered them over mages, although he was more mild than in his time in the order.

"Redcliffe is in the hands of a Magister. This cannot be allowed to stand." Cassandra pointed out, which was pretty valid.

 _Let the Templars take care of themselves, the Mage situation is more dire!_

"The letter Alexius sent asked for the Herald of Andraste by name. It's obviously a trap." Josephine wisely said, her writing board held in front of her like it usually was.

"I'm starting to think I have a stalker. Alright, we need to come to an agreement." Samira stood there, more confident in her decision but still willing to hear what her comrades had to say.

"Some of us would do nothing." Leliana was obviously taking a shot at Cullen.

"Not this again." Josephine sighed.

"If you go in there, you'll die. And we'll lose the only means we have to closing these rifts. I won't allow it." Cullen sternly said, which he did have a point Samira allowed.

"And if we don't even try to meet Alexius, we lose the mages and leave a hostile foreign power on our doorstep!" Then it was Leliana's turn to counter with a just as valid point. Either way, the Herald knew this would be a difficult decision with far-reaching consequences.

"Even if we could assault the castle, our army would provoke a war with Ferelden. Our hands are tied." And of course Josephine threw in another obstacle they potentially faced, making this mission look like a setup for failure.

"Of course. Orlais." Samira didn't mind Orlais, she just hated Orlesian politics. If the nobility of Val Royoux were any indicator, she prefered to not be in their company.

 _I think it's their accents that annoy me the most._

"The Magister-" Cassandra wanted to say something else, but Cullen knew she had nothing else to say in defense of going to the mages.

"Has outplayed us."

"There's got to be another way we can sneak in!" She really wanted this to work out. This was her chance to reach out to the mages and give them a second chance.

"Wait. There is a secret escape route for the family my agents can use. We just need a distraction. Perhaps the envoy Alexius wants so badly?" Leliana asked, knowing Samira would do it.

"Alright, it's a gamble, but it might work. Keep attention on Trevelyan and we'll sneak in."

"Fortunately, you'll have help." The door opened suddenly, and in strode a proud Dorian Pavus.

"Dorian, love!" Samira beamed at him, leaning in to kiss him on the cheek in greeting. She noticed from the start he was practically the male version of her, like her twin so she had enjoyed exchanging witty letters with him over the last few weeks in preparation for the mission.

"I know Alexius and his defenses, so if you're going after him, I'm coming along." Dorian hooked his arm around hers in a merry fashion, even though he was dead serious about what he said.

"I wouldn't dream of not bringing you along, dear." Samira enjoyed when she found someone she could relate with and was like her, it was hard to find.

"This plan puts you in the most danger, we can't in good conscience order you to do this." Cullen made one last attempt to dissuade the mage.

"Playing the bait will be fun, I like it when they think I'm a damsel in distress." She winked at Dorian, then stuck her dagger into the location she intended on the map.

"On second thought, I think I'm going to need this back!" She pulled it out jokingly and attached it in its rightful spot on her belt.

Iron Bull was firm about going with her, and Samira could feel a slight contest when Blackwall also volunteered.

"This should be interesting. Alright, let's get going."

Samira kept her nerves cool as her group walked into the hall where they were to meet Alexius. A Tevinter guard stood in their way, as well as a servant to Alexius.

"Announce us." Samira's voice a command, not wanting to show weakness.

"The Magister's invitation was for Lady Trevelyan only. These others will have to remain here."

"Where I go, they go." Samira said stubbornly, earning a grunt from Bull.

She stared down the servant until he relented and led the group up the stairs to the throne room. Alexius sat at his throne with his son Felix at his side, with a helpless Fiona not far off.

"My lord Magister, the agents of the Inquisition have arrived." The blonde man announced them.

"My friends! It's so good to see you again. And your associates, of course. I'm sure we can work out some arrangement that is equitable to all parties." He said as he rose to greet them.

"Are we mages to have no voice in our fate?" Fiona spoke up, Samira glad the leader finally seemed to have some backbone.

"Fiona, you would not have come to my care if you did not trust me with your followers lives." Alexius said, slightly annoying the Herald.

"Oh, because you just simply ooze trust? l welcome her as a guest of the Inquisition." Samira's patience was already low, so her ability to hide her own sarcasms was as well.

"Thank you." Fiona nodded in appreciation. Alexius sat back in his chair and took hold of the conversation again.

"You have need of the mages to close the Breach, and I have them. So, what shall you offer in exchange?"

"Oh, cut the crap. I know you want me dead, and that deeply wounds me! So, I think you'll pay for this offense by offering you nothing at all. I'm just going to take them and leave." Samira said matter-of-factly.

"She knows everything, Father." Felix cutting in, knowing the charade was over.

"Felix, what have you done? Do you think you can turn my son against me?"

"Your trap has already failed!"

"You walk into my stronghold with your stolen mark-a gift you don't even understand-and you think you're in control? You're nothing but a mistake." Felix dared say, earning a small degree of shock from the female mage, but she hid it. Blackwall didn't seem to like it either, and Varric was unimpressed by the display.

"What do you know about the Divine's death?" Samira gathered her thoughts, knowing he had to have known something about it.

"It was the Elder One's moment, and you were unworthy to even stand in his presence." This earned a confused look from all of them; they had never heard of this figure he spoke of.

"Father, do you know what you sound like?" Felix pleaded with his father, trying so hard to change him.

"He sounds exactly like the sort of villainous cliche everyone expects us to be." Dorian said as he appeared from hiding, seizing the moment.

"I was going to say mad man, but that works too." Samira said as the two continued to debate their cause.

"Soon he will become a god. He will make the world bow to mages once more. He will rule from the Boeric ocean to the Frozen seas." Alexius went on, Samira wanting him to just shut up and get to the fight already.

"You can't involve my people in this!" Fiona cried out.

"Alexius, this is exactly what we talked about _never_ wanting to happen! Why would you support this?" Dorian stepped forward, trying to understand his former mentor.

 _Are we still on about this? I don't think we're going to convince him._

Samira kept her hand on the hilt of her dagger, noticing in the corner one of the Tevinter guards getting his throat cut by an agent of Leliana's as Felix spoke with his father.

"No! It's the only way, Felix. He can save you! The Elder One promised. If I undo the mistake at the temple…"

"I'm going to die. You need to accept that." Felix's voice of reason fell on deaf ears as Alexius moved to order his guards.

"Seize them, Venatori! The Elder One demands this woman's life!" But it was too late, as the agents finished off the remaining guards, causing panic in his eyes.

"Your men are dead!" Samira readied herself just in case he tried something.

"You never should have existed!" Alexius snarled, levitating a strange amulet in front of him, about to strike.

The next moment happened so fast, Samira barely had time to react as Dorian yelled out and did his best to counter the spell. A portal appeared, pulling Dorian and Samira into it in an instant and everything went black. When they opened their eyes, they suddenly dropped into a flooded chamber.

 _Where in the Maker are we?_

"Blood of the Elder one! Where'd they come from?" A Venatori exclaimed to another. Samira may not have known what was going on, but her instincts were in fine state as she aimed her dagger to perfectly puncture the neck where armor was exposed.

"You gonna get that?" Samira said as the other one charged him. Dorian used his staff sideways against the guard as the Venatori charged. When the man grabbed at it, Dorian shifted using all of his weight and muscle to throw the guard over him, making him tumble over on his back. Samira followed up with her other dagger and plunged it into him.

"What? I did the heavy lifting." Dorian said, which Samira had to agree on.

"I technically killed both of them, so I'm taking credit!" Collecting her daggers from the corpses, they turned back to their situation.

"Displacement? Interesting. I doubt Alexius intended this, the rift must have moved us...to what? The closest confluence of arcane energy." Dorian observed their surroundings, trying to make sense of it all.

"It looks like we're still in the castle, at least."

"Oh! Of course! It's not simply where-it's when! The amulet was used as a focus, it moved us through time!" He said like he just solved the most delightful riddle. Samira did not share his mood.

"Uh, did we go forward or backward in time?" She crossed her arms, a worried expression on her face that did not make her look attractive.

"Excellent questions. We'll have to find out, won't we?"

"This is insane." Samira knew nothing of temporal magic, and all she wanted to do was go home.

"We didn't "travel" through time so much as punch a hole through it and toss it into to the privy. But don't worry. I'm here. I'll protect you." He said protectively.

"I've got your back too. We need to find the others, if they're even still here. Be on your guard." Samira said as she searched and found the key to the door from one of the guards.

"These things always seem to happen, the _let's play with magic we don't understand. It will make us incredibly powerful_!"

"Apparently so." They made their way through the flooded corridors and were grateful when they finally found someone they knew.

"Three hundred bottles of beer on the wall, three hundred bottles of beer...take one down, pass it around." Came Bull's voice from a cell that had lyrium growing out of it.

"Bull!" When he turned around Samira saw something was wrong with him. His voice was changed, and red emanated from his body.

"You're not dead? You're supposed to be dead. There was a burn on the ground and everything."

 _That's odd, he doesn't seem to have missed me._

"We're not dead. Alexius' spell sent us through time. This is our future." Dorian explained.

"Well, it's _my_ present. And in my _past_. I definitely saw you both die."

"I'm sorry Bull, but at least I'm alive now!" Samira tried to cheer him up before they continued on, with Bull filling them in on what they missed.

 _The Empress killed and a demon army invading? Andraste guide me, I have to fix this._

And then they found Blackwall, and what she felt when she saw him pulled at her heart.

"Maker...you shouldn't be here! The dead should rest in peace…" Blackwall's features looked the same as Iron Bull's did, but his demeanor was definitely worse. Everything about him was all wrong, he looked like a shell of the man Samira knew him as.

 _His spirit is broken…_

Samira ached for Blackwall, she couldn't stand to see him like this and knowing she was feeling terrible guilt and sadness only made her feel more torn about the situation.

"Blackwall...it's really me." She reassured him through the cell bars, reaching to place her hand on his shoulder. He shuddered at her touch.

"I saw you fall...Alexius' spell left nothing but ash." Blackwall lamented, reliving his grief for the woman.

"He used time magic, if we get back to Alexius, we can go back to the moment this happened and stop all this from coming to pass!" Samira said, opening the cell door to let him out.

"Maybe I've just gone mad. If what you say is true, then this...everything I've been through, everything about this _nightmare_ is a mistake." His voice was soft, but a hint of hope lingered.

"I'm...so sorry you've had to suffer." She sympathetically said, just wanting the sadness to stop.

"If we make Alexius pay for his crimes, that's enough for me."

"Where is he?" Samira turned from Blackwall, almost afraid to look at him.

"Locked himself in the throne room, that's where we'll find the bastard." He said with grim determination, leading them up a flight of stairs. Along their way, they encountered several groups of Venatori that put up quite the fight, but the Inquisition's resolve was stronger.

"The Elder One will crush you!" One spat at Samira, desperate for his words to cut like knives when his own weapons failed to.

"Elder One this, Elder One that! Piss on your _Elder One._ " Samira mocked him as she drove her staff blade down into a killing blow.

"Rather crude, don't you think?" Dorian poked at her, not realizing Samira deep down was very angry.

"But he spat at me!" Samira said indignantly to hide what she was truly angered by. After they had seen what became of Fiona and stumbled upon Lysas, she was starting to lose her cool at this grim future.

 _Ugh, I don't think I'll ever be able to hear 'Andraste guide me' the same again..._

It didn't help that Lysas was stuck repeating over and over some creepy version of the Chant of Light; Samira made it a point to quickly leave, her determination burning as the flames were lit once again by the suffering she witnessed. Hearing about the fate of her other friends made it hard on top of all that for Samira to keep her face straight, but she let it fuel her to go forward.

"Let's go. We're not far off." Blackwall said.

Once the party entered the torture chambers, they heard voices echoing down the lyrium infested hall.

"There is no Maker. The Elder One has taken all that is his and will soon rule from this city."

"That still doesn't make him a god!" A female voice protested as a loud slap rang out.

 _It doesn't sound like anyone we know, but I need to help her._

"There is no god but the Elder One! The Maker is dead! Say it!" They followed the voices and finally reached the room where the voices were coming from, but it was too late. After they had dispatched of their enemies, Samira found the Chantry sister laying lifeless on the floor.

"I'm sorry." She reached to close the woman's eyes and straightened up when she thought she heard more sounds down the hall.

"Come on, that voice sounds familiar!" Samira raced out of the room, not waiting for her companions to catch up as she reached her destination.

"You will break!" The Venatori threatened a restrained Leliana that looked like she had been to hell and was dragged out to get thrown in again.

"I will die first! Or you will." Leliana's face was like a skeleton, scarred and aged irreparably in the year's time that had passed. Her appearance was deceiving though; she still held enough strength within herself to trap the Venatori's neck between her legs and killing him.

"You're alive!" She exclaimed as Samira helped her down from her restraints.

"It's a long story." Samira sighed.

"You need to end this. Do you have weapons?" Samira nodded, patting her staff strapped to her back.

"Good." Leliana moved to a chest to retrieve her bow.

"You...aren't curious to how we got here?" Dorian asked, puzzled.

"No." Dorian repeated himself for the third time, but Samira was already tired of talking about it.

"And mages always wonder why people fear them...No one should have this power." Leliana fumed, but Dorian just kept pushing her buttons.

"Enough! This is all pretend to you, some future you hope will never exist. I sufferred. The whole world sufferred. It was real." Her words cut deeply, silencing Dorian.

As they moved quickly, Samira realized there really was nothing she could hide behind. If this stayed their future, there was no point hiding behind quips and clever words. The tone was definitely grim, and no amount of words could change the circumstances, only action. They were all going to die if she didn't do something. She broke into a cold sweat, beginning to run until they found the Upper Royal wing where a mixture of Venatori mages and a rift awaited them.

"Flank them!" Leliana ordered the warriors as Samira and Dorian took on the mages.

Samira twisted and twirled Lovias, hitting them all with quick bursts of fire as Dorian countered with necromancy. She focused her mana to channel her fire into an immolation on the ground of one mage, killing him, before turning to another that hit her with a dose of energy. Stumbling backwards in a daze, Samira took all of her focus to deflect the enemy mages next moves, their power coming head to head. When her deflections proved fruitless to his endeavors, Samira jumped away and gathered a stream of fire to throw at him.

Anticipating this, the Venatori did the same, this time bringing thunder to his hands. Their magic collided with each other, neither mage giving in as fire and thunder pushed against each other. Samira felt a bead of sweat trickle down her face as she struggled to stand her ground and not give in, if she did she was dead.

 _The mark!_

Samira brought her left hand up, the mark glowing a radiant green, drawing power from the nearby rift. She joined the power with her own natural magic, throwing her whole body to overpower the Venatori, and finally it worked. The combination of fire and fade overpowered and torn him down, his body disintegrated instantly.

"Herald! We need your help!" Samira turned her attention to focus on closing the rift now, with Dorian to cover her back so she was uninterrupted. Once the Venatori were out of the way, the rift was just like any another rift encounter.

 _This feels like the only normal thing to happen to us today!_

Once the room was cleared, they headed to the throne room through the main door. The room was empty, save Alexius and a severely weakened Felix that looked like he was on death's door.

"Look at what you've done, Alexius...all this suffering, for what?" Samira harshly said.

"For my country, for my son. But that is nothing now. I knew you would appear again...you're too late." Alexius had no malice in his voice this time, only sadness and regret.

"Was it worth it? What you did to the world, to yourself." Dorian had to know.

"All we can do is wait for the end…"

"We can still undo all of this!" Samira protested, knowing there must be some way.

"The Elder One comes for me, for you, for us all." The Magister lamented, still not turning back to face them until Leliana took control by threatening Felix's life with her dagger to his throat.

"Please, don't hurt my son! I'll do anything you ask." The man pleaded, his face fearful to hold onto the only thing he still had left in the world.

"We need the amulet, Leliana. Just let him go, he's done nothing wrong." Samira spoke, but Leliana did not care at that point.

"No one is innocent." Leliana's voice was devoid of all emotion, preparing to make her vengeful move.

"Leliana, no!" But it was too late. As she slit his throat, all hope into saving the future became about defeating Alexius, as he swung his staff and attacked in rage.

The battle became more complicated when he would use his amulet to open time rifts to his advantage, as the group saw when Bull stepped into one and it slowed him down. Alexius would step onto one that sped up his actions, but all it took was teamwork to gang up on him and beat him into submission. Leliana took it one step further by landing an arrow into his heart to finish it.

"I'm sorry, Dorian. Things can still be changed if we make it back to our time." Samira tried to console her ally, but found it hard to not think of anything else but getting back home.

"This is the same amulet he used before. Give me an hour to work out the spell he used, and I should be able to reopen the rift."

"An hour?! You must go now!" Leliana exclaimed, just before a haunting shriek rang through the entire castle and shook the walls.

"The Elder One."

"There's a reason they won." Blackwall's sad voice admitted before looking to Iron Bull.

"We'll head out front. Keep them off your tail." Bull stepped up first stoically, his axe ready to go.

"No! I won't let you commit suicide!" Samira cried out, not being able to accept them doing this.

"Look at us. We're already dead. The only way we live is if this day never comes. Cast your spell. You have as much time as I have arrows." Leliana had a point, but the Herald didn't care. Their lives meant something to her.

"Leliana, you're the last line of defense. Protect her." Blackwall broke Samira's heart then, she couldn't help but have a conflicted look on her face.

"Blackwall…" Was all she could say to him as she watched the men she felt something for leave.

"Boss, give my former self an ass kicking when you get back!" Bull called over his shoulder, not waiting for a reply as they shut the door behind them.

"Dorian, please hurry. I want this nightmare over." She wanted to help him, but knew nothing of that magic so she waited behind Leliana, watching the door. After some time, Samira could hear fighting outside, her insides turned to mush as she could tell the men were desperate.

"Though darkness closes, I am shielded by flame." Leliana prepared herself, readying her bow as the door busted open.

They had fallen.

 _NOOOO!_

Samira saw Iron Bull crumble right outside as a demon threw Blackwall's lifeless body towards them.

"Andraste guide me. Maker, take me to your side." Leliana shot arrow after arrow at them, taking three Venatori down as the demon continued to stalk towards them. Samira moved forward as an arrow hit Leilana's shoulder, ready to fight one last stand, but was grabbed by Dorian.

"I have to help her!" Samira struggled within herself, all of the death lighting a flame inside that threatened to consume her.

"You move, and we all die!" He yelled as the spell was beginning to work.

Samira watched helplessly as Leliana fought the Venatori, using her bow to hit the nearest two that surrounded her, weaving in and through them like she had never seen anyone do. When the portal opened up, Dorian dragged at her towards it, but Samira couldn't take her eyes off the scene. They completely surrounded the woman now, one holding her by the neck from behind.

"Go!" Leliana urged her on, right before they were about to slit her throat. With one last regretful look, Samira went through the portal with Dorian and finally entered back into the scene that had landed them in this mess.

 _Oh, Sweet Maker, thank you._

The next few moments barely registered in Samira's mind, she felt like she was two people at once. On the surface, she was perfectly there. But she wasn't really deep down. It wasn't until Dorian spoke directly to her, she pulled herself out of her thoughts.

"Well, I'm glad that's over with! Or not." He said as Ferelden soldiers ushered in an unlikely surprise: Queen Anora and King Alistair. And they were not very happy with Fiona for her actions.

"You and your followers have worn out your welcome. Leave Ferelden, or we'll be forced to make you leave." Alistair was definitely pissed.

"But we need protection! Where will we go?" Fiona looked heartbroken, not knowing what to do as a leader.

 _This is my time to step in._

"The Inquisition can offer you a second chance. We would be honored to have you fight by our side." Samira knew this would irk a lot of ire not only with half of the Inquisition, but also within her inner circle.

 _This needs to be done, something must change._

"I can't say I'm not surprised by this. I hope all of the Inquisition honors this agreement."

"Let's just say, I've weighed the options and can see this as being mutually beneficial to both sides. Just know this doesn't mean you all can just anything you want. We don't want another war again. I've had enough headaches for the week!" Samira said in exasperation.

"We accept, it would be madness not to."

 _Oh, you don't even know the beginning of madness._

When they finally arrived back at Haven, all Samira wanted to do was catch her breath mentally, but was faced to defend her actions with the mages to Cullen in the war room.

"You know, you can call this their probation or whatever you like, but we needed their cooperation to close the Breach, Commander." Samira's voice almost weary.

"I know we need them, but they could do just as much damage as the demons!" Cullen protested, not backing down.

"While I may not completely agree with Samira's decision, I support it. The whole point of this mission was to gain the mages aid, and that was accomplished." For once, Samira was glad Cassandra was speaking up.

"The voice of pragmatism speaks! And here I was just starting to enjoy the circular arguments." Dorian chimed in, leaning against the wall.

"Dorian, am I glad to see you." Samira sighed and let out a small laugh before the conversation continued.

"Closing the Breach is all that matters." The seeker concluded, finally ending the debate.

"And that's what we're going to do. Very soon." Samira stated as her attention drifted again long enough for the group to disperse.

"My dear, you look exhausted!" Dorian linked his arm through Samira's as they walked outside the Chantry.

"I'm just in desperate need of a drink! Lots of big things coming up, you know. So, will you be sticking around for much longer?" She said, perking up.

"If you'll have me, but don't get too cocky about having the great Dorian Pavus at your side...I know it's tempting." He teased.

"There's no one I'd rather be stranded in time with, future or present." She smiled at him, glad that he was there to keep her mind off of things.

"But let's not get "stranded" again any time soon!" So they sat at the tavern sharing a few drinks over the next hour and spoke about their distant familial connection they discovered they had.

"You're lucky your family isn't as bad as mine!" Dorian spoke into his bottle as he chugged it down.

"Oh nooooo you don't! Mine just shipped me away! Was like I didn't even matter. Pavus is just, just amazing when it comes to magic." Samira said, feeling a little woozy from the alcohol.

"At least you had siblings! I assure you, dear. Your family is nowhere near as bad as mine." He insisted, Samira deciding to take his word for it.

"To House Pavus and House Trevelyan! Distantly cut from the same cloth, but still shits on their family members all the same!" Samira and Dorian rose their bottles to clink; Samira busted out into laughter at how obnoxiously loud she sounded. After a while, Dorian stumbled out of the tavern, making some off handed remarks about seeing Iron Bull which Samira was too drunk to question at the time.

"Well! All by myself. I should sing a song." As Samira slouched down in her chair, she grabbed the bottle of whiskey and began to sing, nodding to Maryden to start playing.

"Find me still searching...for someone to lead me. Can you guide me...to the revolt inside me? Promise surviving the Breach...Promise surviving the Breach...in the sky." She wanted to sing more of it, but grew tired and sighed drunk to herself, not noticing Blackwall had been watching her from the entrance.

 _Oh Maker, I just wanna be drunk by myself!_

"Samira, are you alright?" He walked up to her and took the bottle from her hands.

"Hey, I needed that! Can't a woman be drunk in good old fashion?" She began to stand up but unfortunately began to stumble to her dismay.

"There, there now. Let's get you back to your room." Before she could protest (she didn't have much capacity to anyways), he picked her up and began the trek back.

"Oh, Warden Blackwall carrying a lady mage like myself to her room! You're making me blush!" She laughed, knowing the tease would fluster him.

"You just need a good night's rest, my lady. We'll be there in a moment." He said reassuringly to the mage who was besides herself.

"Don't forget to lock the door behind us!" Drunk Samira couldn't help herself. Opening the door to the small loft, Blackwall carried her up the stairs and placed her on the bed.

"Won't you please stay? My bed gets awfully cold at night!" Samira exaggerated a fake pout, but couldn't help but smiling before falling backwards exhausted.

"Samira, you're drunk." Blackwall said the stoic as ever.

"But...I really mean it. I saw things you know. Things you don't want me to tell you." Samira's voice turned more somber now, her emotions a wild torrent to the influence of alcohol. That was the only time she willingly let her emotions get away from her, was under joyous alcohol.

"I...I'll stay for a little bit." He pulled back the covers and tucked her under and laid next to her. As Samira let the mix of alcohol and exhaustion truly settle into her, slowly serving as a lullaby to bring her sleep, she nuzzled her face against the man's body for comfort.

"Your beard is the best." Was the last (nonsensical) thing she remembered saying before the night took her.

 **A/N: I feel like a lot happened emotionally in this chapter. Like, I feel like Samira's feelings on this potential future is how I would have reacted. Just seeing how Leliana and your companions are so broken down by your character's death...it really got me in the feels. This is the beginning point where Samira is going to struggle within herself. She's started to care about people, so that's going to reflect going forward in the story but she will also still be her usual sarcastic self. I couldn't imagine her going all soft and completely changing the character!**


	8. Haven's Grace

**A/N: This chapter is a bit longer, and with work slamming me it took a bit longer that I usually take to write as was the case with the previous chapter. Half of this is all cannon from the game, with some tweaks here and there. Again, thanks for the favorites and follows, I hope you continue to like the story (I assume so or you wouldn't have hit that add button)**

 **Chapter 8: Haven's grace**

Samira rolled over in her bed, immediately feeling weakness that told her to stay there.

 _How long have I been asleep? It must be past noon by now…_

She turned to the table next to her bed and found a potion with a note attached to it.

"Hopefully this helps you feel better after the night you had." Samira read out loud to herself, knowing it must have been from Blackwall. Thinking of him brought a blush of embarrassment to Samira's cheeks after the display she gave him in the tavern. She hoped that wouldn't turn to mortification if he didn't take her advances very well.

Drinking the potion brought a sour taste in her mouth, but she was grateful as it started to work, making her slowly feel like her usual self. After she finished with her bath, she adjusted her black silk scarf after pulling on her short black vest and was ready to go. Now that the mages had been accepted into the Inquisition, Samira felt more comfortable carrying her staff on her openly, so she let it swing from her back proudly as she made her way out of the Chantry.

"Late night?" Varric asked as she walked up to him.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Varric." Samira said amused.

"Oh, I heard the singing all the way down here. Have you ever taken singing lessons?" He asked curious, which surprised Samira because she thought he was teasing her.

"Actually, no I haven't. Just something I do to pass the time, I suppose. And maybe to honor my patron goddess Sylaise…" She muttered the last part under her breath, as she was unsure how people who weren't Dalish would take that.

"Sylaise? Who's that?" He asked, obviously catching what she said.

"Sylaise. She's the elven goddess of the arts, among other things. I was part of a Dalish clan before going to the conclave." She shrugged, not thinking it was too big of a deal.

"Huh. But I thought you were Andrastian?"

"I am. But that doesn't mean I can't appreciate another religion with its own value. It's where I got this tattoo from, it was like my acceptance into the clan." She pointed to her eye with pride, wearing it as a badge.

"Ouch. I was wondering how you got that thing. Must have hurt."

"It did, but I wasn't allowed to show weakness while it was applied, so I pretty much had to suck it up! Humans have never been allowed into any Dalish clan, so I had to prove myself."

"But why? I have to say, not much is known about the mysterious Herald of Andraste!"

"Oh, are you going to write a book about me now? Make sure to capture my lovely features and dashing deeds." She quipped, tempted to change the subject.

"I wouldn't dare forget." Varric smiled at her.

"If it's anything like the _Tale of the Champion_ , you'll get a good review from me. And to answer your question to the why, I did it because it was all part of a grand scheme to get away from the Circle. I've always hated being tied down. I'm a free spirit like yourself."

"In another life, you'd make a very good rogue, Samira!"

"Dear Varric, what makes you think I'm not a good one now?" She tapped the dagger that swung at her hip, winked and made her way off, always relishing having the last word.

 _I suppose I should go check up on Blackwall and apologize._

Before she could find the warden, she found herself surprised by Iron Bull, as he pulled her aside behind a bush and kissed her.

"Oh, hello!" She said as he kissed and nibbled at her lip.

"I've missed you, Kadan. You've been busy." He said to her as his form pressed up against hers, his hands roaming down her backside to her butt.

"All this Mage/Breach business has kept me rather busy the last few days." She pouted before he took her lips between his own again.

 _Oh, Bull._

"Care to loosen up?" He hinted, looking over to the distant cabin that they shared in their intimate moments.

"Oh, you devil." She murmured into his mouth, forgetting everything else that was on her plate. Iron Bull knew how to tempt her, and although it was the middle of the day and they had very important plans to move on the Breach at sunset, she couldn't say no to him.

They were only in the cabin for twenty minutes by the time Samira had climaxed several times, this time being on all fours with Iron Bull taking her from behind.

"Iron fucking Bull!" She gasped out loud as her nerves flared alive in pleasure.

"Iron fucking Bull, that's right!" He smugly said as he thrust into her several more times before climaxing himself. They collapsed onto the makeshift bed of hay that lay in the corner, catching their breath.

"Do you 'pass time' with those serving girls like this?" Samira asked, curious which Bull gave a small chuckle to.

"The serving girls spend most of their day following orders and feeling unimportant. They need someone who makes them feel special, let's 'em cut loose with no repercussions. I let 'em bounce on top and tell 'em their tits look nice. Everybody wins. I mean, I used to. Long as we're doing this, you've got my complete attention." Bull said casually, stretching his legs out.

"Oh, really? Then why was Dorian going to visit you last night?" She laughed, knowing she had caught him in a lie. She thought it was amusing to think of Dorian and Bull together, but also weird considering he was a distant cousin of hers.

"Hey, now. I haven't said anything about that Warden giving you the look."

"What looks?" Samira felt herself harden, her defenses going up immediately at the passive aggressive accusation.

 _Is he...jealous?_

"You can't tell me you haven't noticed him eyeing you on the side. He wants you. Can't say I blame him though. It's hard to stay away from you." Iron Bull, his tone still casual but Samira saw through it. Samira's pride dictated to her to keep up her facade, so she started to pull her clothes back on.

"I think the Iron Bull is just jealous." She dared say, knowing he would react to that.

"Oh, really? Is that what you think?" He snorted, Samira couldn't tell if that was a defense or he really meant it. She threw on her long black top with her vest, and started to pull on her pants.

"Yes, I do! I think you want my cunt all to yourself and you don't want to admit you're addicted to what I can give you, what those serving girls can't!" She indignantly said, not liking how this conversation had went. She definitely didn't appreciate him bringing up Blackwall like he had any sort of claim over her like she was property.

"You need to calm down, you're being ridiculous!" Bull said, as he blew air through his nose irritated with her.

"Maybe you should rethink lying about fucking my cousin and then accusing me of having something with Blackwall…" She finished strapping her boots back on and started to head for the door.

"Whom I'm not even fucking...yet!" Before she would let him reply, she slammed the door behind her and stalked off, letting her anger sink in.

"Who does he think he bloody is? We're not even together!" Samira angrily muttered to herself as she walked to get a drink where she was welcomed by Sera.

"What's got in your knickers?" The elf asked unsure for her friend.

"Men! That's what's bloody well wrong with me right now. And I have to go close that damn Breach any hour now, so this is not what I needed." Samira sighed as she gulped down an ale to calm her nerves.

 _All I want is to have a little fun on the side, and now that fun has chosen to piss me off and complicate things._

"And that's why I don't date pricks! Quite literally. Can't stand the sight of them dangling there! Ha! Dangle bag!" Sera laughed at herself, causing to Samira to smile and laugh.

"Oh, Sera. You know how to cheer me up." For the rest of the hour, Samira chose to avoid Iron Bull's general vicinity and stayed at the tavern to play Wicked Grace with her friend. Sera won the first hand, but Samira came back and won the next two.

"Did you let me win on purpose the first time so I'd bet you the second round?!" She lamented as she handed over the coins she owed the mage.

"I would never dream of cheating a Red Jenny, Sera. Oh, look! There's Blackwall! Better finish this game!" Samira was glad to see the man as an excuse to not let Sera win her coin back.

"Are you ladies playing fair?" Blackwall pulled up a chair and joined them.

"I maintain my innocence. Won't you have a drink? Compliment of Sera's coin, of course!" Samira laughed at the sour look on Sera's face.

"At least it'll go to something useful." Sera kicked her chair out and strode out, but not before Samira protested light heartedly.

"She'll be fine, I've no doubt Sera will find some rotten way to get back at me." Samira said, idly shuffling the cards to avoid his gaze.

"She likes you, I don't think she would do anything, unless she values coin that much."

"Aye, she does. I'm just glad the mage problem has been solved, or else I'd have too much on my plate as is." She poured him a drink and slid it over to him.

"There was never going to be an easy answer to the mage dilemma. What you did for the mages took courage. You gave them a chance. Everyone deserves one." Samira then looked up to Blackwall, appreciative at his encouragement.

"It definitely wasn't easy, but I thank you for the kind words. It's nice to not have to hear criticism over it."

"I have to ask: what was I like in that dark future you saw?" And then he dropped the ball and made Samira uncomfortable, for she didn't want to think of that.

 _And here I thought I wouldn't have to talk about what happened!_

"Blackwall...it wasn't pretty." She hesitated, not wanting to talk about it.

"And?" He pressed, not wanting to let it go.

"You were sad, and angry...but you fought with honor."

"What ended up happening?"

"Blackwall, I don't want to talk about it. It's just…" Samira sighed, her emotion beginning to thicken into a ball in her throat.

"Samira, you can tell me." Blackwall softy said, placing his hand on hers.

 _Shit, I don't know how to talk about this…_

"You died alright! You sacrificed yourself protecting me!" She blurted out, stressed by the thought of it all. Samira felt wetness brim at her eyes, but she held them at bay with the memory of the dark future lingering. Before she'd let anyone see her like that, she walked out of the tavern and caught her breath. Blackwall gave her a moment before coming out. She looked up at him and saw the look on his face.

"I know that look, you're probably regretting having asked me. I would too." She said, letting out a small defeated chuckle.

"That's not what that look was for, Samira." Blackwall took a step forward and brought his arms around to envelop her in a hug.

"This is...different." Samira commented, stiff at first to the embrace, but slowly accepting it. She was used to having her guard up and not having any signs of affection given or received.

"Aye, for me as well. And for the record, I'd sacrifice myself for you again if it came down to it." He said into her hair, not caring if the foreign thought made her uncomfortable. She looked up into his eyes, and for a moment she felt something, but broke it off before it grew into anything.

"I would do the same for you, Blackwall." Their hug separated, leading to an almost awkward moment next.

"Feel better now?"

"I suppose that does feel better to get off of my chest. We should look forward, I have to in order to close that Breach. Shit, that reminds me! I have to get to the war table to prepare!" Samira said, panicking at how late she must have been by now.

"I'll meet you at the gate then, my lady." They nodded to each other as Samira hurried off to the table to put the plan into place.

And then, before she knew it they were back to the Temple of Sacred Ashes where this all started. It was still as it was, to Samira it seemed like it would stand in time as a permanent monument with smoke always rising from the ashes.

"Mages!" Cassandra called out to the dozens that stood ready to answer the call of helping close the Breach.

"Focus past the Herald! Let her will draw from you!" Solas instructed in a booming voice as a rally.

 _Maker, I pray this works._

Samira began her approach towards the huge rift that floated in front of them and let her will and focus reach out to the mages that now drove their staffs into the ground channeling their power. The dark, torn sky howled in the wind beginning to rage as Samira brought her mark forward to begin the heavy task. She took one quick look at her party before feeling the mark connect with the sheer power of fade. Samira held down fast as the connecting streams worked to overpower and destroy the tear; it felt like an eternity beating loudly in her ears but in reality it was only moments it took to work. A white blast resulted as Samira won out, throwing her back to the ground and everyone else with it.

 _Andraste's tits! I thought I was dead for a second!_

"You did it." Cassandra said approaching when Samira began to stand up. Everyone began to cheer in victory, glad the tear was finally gone.

"You mean I'm not dead?" Samira actually asked, beginning to chuckle in relief with Cassandra.

The celebration back at Haven no doubt reflected the victory, Samira watched everyone drink and dance merrily with each other all over the grounds as the night went on.

"Solas confirms the heavens are scarred but calm. The Breach is sealed. We've reports of lingering rifts, and many questions remain, but this was a victory. Word of your heroism has spread." Cassandra said when she joined Samira to overlook the celebration.

"I figured it wasn't over yet. We don't know what caused this, we can't rest easy."

"I agree. One success does not guarantee peace. The immediate danger is gone. For some, so is the necessity of this alliance. We must be wary. The Inquisition will need new focus." She reflected to the mage. What came next was something no one expected. A sound distant could be heard and from that, the bells began to ring all throughout Haven, causing everyone to panic at what could be happening.

"What the-we must get to the gates!" Cassandra urged, unsheathing her sword and hurrying off. Samira searched out into the mountains and saw many troops working their way through the mountain pass. Samira sprinted down the stairs as civilians and soldiers alike clamored about, searching out any of her friends along the way to the gate.

"And here I was thinking we were out of the woods…" Varric muttered, running alongside Samira once she reached his tent.

"Come on!" Samira had no time to talk, only react to the situation as it began to unfold.

"Cullen?" Cassandra turned to the commander, hoping for any insight.

"One watchguard reporting. It's a massive force, the bulk over the mountain." He pointed outwards.

"Under what banner?" Josephine asked, her voice worried.

"None."

"None?"

"Someone's approaching!" Samira said when her ears picked up the sound of footsteps hurried at the closed gate.

"Open it!" Samira commanded, springing forward to see. The voice that spoke to her was soft and urgent. A hulking Venatori agent went down by dagger, producing an odd young man in a big hat. Samira and Cullen ran to him.

"I'm Cole. I came to warn you. To help. People are coming to hurt you." Cole said, the better part of his face was shrouded, but one could tell you only had to listen to his voice.

"What's going on?" Samira asked.

"The templars come to kill you." She listened to Cullen react angrily to the possibility and let Cole continue. He spoke of the Elder One then and a shudder settled into Samira's spine.

"You took his mages. There." The boy pointed in the direction where their problem lie. Cullen was shocked to see he knew the man that stood next to the tall figure giving form to the name Elder One.

"He's very angry you took his mages." Cole's ominous tone was to set the tone for the rest of the night.

"Cullen! Give me a plan! Anything!" Samira was grateful to have Cullen as commander, but she knew their situation was dire being caught unaware right after a victory. He told her to take their people and hit the mountain with the trebuchets, then turned to the Inquisition's forces with his sword drawn.

"Mages! You-you have sanction to engage them! That is Samson. He will not make it easy!" Cullen began to pace the line of soldiers and mages, Samira waited for him to send the signal.

"Inquisition! With the Herald! For your lives! For all of us!" He rose his sword and everyone cried out in battle as it all began.

"Let's go!" Samira yelled out to the group of soldiers that came to her. Varric had Bianca resting over his shoulder, a cigar in the corner of his mouth.

"Since when did you start smoking?" Samira asked as they ran forward and collected Blackwall along the way to the first trebuchet.

"I only reserve it for moments like this when I think I'm going to die." His demeanor was cool, although worried.

"That's very helpful of you to say, Varric!" The little time they had they spent clearing the area around the trebuchet out so they could launch the first defensive measure.

"Samira, be careful. We can hold them off while you prep the trebuchet." Blackwall said, he was battle ready.

"Soldiers, follow Warden Blackwall's lead, I'll get this thing in position." Samira commanded. Groups of red templars began to pour into the vicinity, making her work all the more faster turning the heavy wheel. When it was done, the contraption flung a huge stone into the mountainside, accompanied by a friendly horn.

 _Yes!_

They were all too quick to jump to joy when the first strike of terror hit from the skies. Samira was sent reeling as a ball of powerful energy flew into the trebuchet, coming from the most monstrous dragon.

"That is not possible!" Samira heard Solas say as he rushed over.

"Everyone to the gates!" Blackwall purposely stood close to Samira's side, throwing his arm out in front of her every time the black dragon circled back around and sent destruction in their path. The dragon commanded great force behind the thrust of its wings, its cries sent tremors through the ground that all felt.

"Everyone get inside! Move it, move it!" Cullen motioned for the last remaining people before they barred the gate. Samira sprinted to the stables first and jumped on Raven, the mare crazy with fear until she saw her friend and darted through the gate just in time for Cullen to close it.

"Cullen, what are we going to do?" Samira asked with worry in her voice.

"We need everyone back to the Chantry! It's the only building that might hold against...that beast! At this point...just make them work for it."

"That doesn't sound very comforting." She said, but obeyed him nonetheless.

"You're telling me, hun." Varric took one last anxious puff of his cigar and put it out.

"Threnn, get my horse to safety. I'm trusting you with her." She handed the reigns over and gave her horse one last pat before they left.

Along the way, they found Iron Bull rushing into the tavern Samira had come to love, now falling to pieces to fire.

"Bull, wait!" Samira called out to him and followed, sighing to herself as she couldn't leave him.

"Help me with this!" He called out to the group as he struggled with the heavy fallen debris that now pinned Flissa under, threatening to trap her. Blackwall and Varric were the first to rush forward and together they saved the woman before making it back to the Chantry. Once again, their group was the last making it through the Chantry doors.

"Chancellor Roderick!" Samira was surprised to see the man as he collapsed into Cole's arms grievously wounded.

"He tried to stop a templar. The blade went deep. He's going to die." The odd boy curtly said.

"What a charming boy."

"Herald! Our position is not good. That dragon stole back any time you might have earned us." Cullen filled her in on their state.

"The Elder One doesn't care about the village. He only wants the Herald." Cole chimed in, tending to Roderick still.

"If so be it, I'd give myself to save Haven." Samira spoke up, knowing that it inherently went against her nature to self-sacrifice, but after Redcliffe, she couldn't let everyone suffer because of her.

"There are no tactics to make this survivable. The only thing that slowed them was the avalanche."

"Cause one last slide…" Blackwall said, knowing what that meant.

"To hit the enemy, we'd bury Haven." Samira said, sad for that idea but she managed to keep that out of her voice.

"We're dying. But we can decide how. Many don't get that choice." And then came the hope they needed.

 _Roderick you sweet man!_

"Andraste must have shown me so I could...tell you. It was whim that I walked the path. Now, with so many in the Conclave now dead, to be the only one who remembers...I don't know, Herald. If this simple memory can save us, this could be more than mere accident, _you_ could be more." To hear this from the man who had been one of her biggest opposers, it meant something to Samira so she did not take his words lightly.

"A rockslide won't stop a dragon. Will this work, Cullen?"

"Possibly. _If_ he shows us the path. What about your escape?" He asked, but Samira couldn't answer, only look away and they seemed to understand what it meant.

 _Shit._

"Perhaps you will surprise it, find a way…" Cullen trailed off and proceeded to instruct the Inquisition to make haste for their new plan.

"Herald, if you are meant for this, if the Inquisition is meant for this, I pray for you." Was the last thing Roderick said to her as Cole helped him to guide the rest of the Inquisition to safety.

"I'm coming with you." Blackwall said, his hand on his sword hilt and a nervous look on his face.

"No. This is my fight." Samira coldly said, she had to be like that to protect her people from following her to certain death.

"I'm not going to let you do this, Samira! You're going to get yourself killed!" Blackwall protested, huffing at the thought of it.

"No one really cares about me, Blackwall. I have to do this." That's what she told herself, crossing her arms, impatient as Haven's doom came closer.

"That's not true. If you insist on doing this, I'm coming with. You can't go out there alone." When he refused to move, Samira gave in.

"And let me guess, you two are coming along as I haven't seen you running for the hills yet." Samira cocked her eyebrow at Varric and Iron Bull.

"Not a chance, boss." Bull said, ready to defend her.

"Good thing I brought enough cigars!" Usually that kind of response would bring a smile to Samira's face, but she found the crisis could only make her sigh.

"Can't say I didn't warn you. You all have to promise me you'll get out when I tell you. Let's go!" The wave of fights with red templars felt endless as Samira fought her way back to the remaining trebuchet they needed. Taking the most direct route, Samira brought walls of ice to block the other ways so they wouldn't be flanked.

"Nice thinking!" Varric said as he shot an arrow through a templar's head that came charging at him.

"We don't have much time, we need to hurry. They're coming faster now." Samira grunted as she used her staff to cast a barrier around them.

"I'll lead in front, Varric you take the back!" Bull led the vanguard with Samira at his side. They nodded and shared a quick look of regret for how they had spoken with one another earlier in the day, but both knew now wasn't the time.

"Is that Knight-Captain Denam coming through the gate?" Her eyes widened in disbelief as she saw in the distance a red templar behemoth that bared some resemblance to the man.

"Aww, shit!" Varric said as they reached their destination.

"You three hold them off, I'll aim the trebuchet!" She quickly went to work at turning the wheel, stopping to cast barriers around her friends and plant fire mines along the ground before the enemies approached. The three men fought their best on their own, but even with their skill they were quickly becoming outmatched.

"Maker, guide me!" Samira cried out as she abandoned the trebuchet to join the battle. She focused her mana to herself as fast as she was able and sent a shockwave in the form of a mind blast to knock back the immediate threats and took out her daggers. Denam kept the men preoccupied holding the monstrosity off, so it was up to Samira to dispatch of their other attackers.

"Hold him at bay!" She yelled to them, seeing Blackwall with his shield up, Iron Bull with his giant axe swinging, and Varric furiously firing off as many arrows as he could.

Three red templars faced her now, they having the clear advantage, which caused Samira to have to think critically on how to take all of them down. Quickly scanning their armor for weaknesses, she sent one dagger flinging into the one on the far right of her and sprinted at the other two that were about to charge her. To her left, the templar had a shield up, she used that to her advantage as she lunged forward, using the shield to launch herself off and into the templar to the right. The element of surprise worked as she plunged her other dagger into the second templar's neck and rolled to the ground.

Her face was splattered with the templar's blood, she had only a second to wipe it out of her eyes before the last one regained his composure and brought his sword to strike. Samira quickly dodged out of the way, rolling to the side before the templar's sword became stuck in the ground. She took that opportunity to wrap her legs around his arm, using all of her weight to bring him down to the ground and found the strength within her when he was in reach to use the power of her mark to blast him in the face. The templar crumpled to the ground, lifeless but the battle was far from over.

As the effects of Samira's barrier began to wear off, she knew her friends were having a hard time dodging the heavy attacks from the lyrium infused monster. She summoned Lovias to her and began hitting it with all she had, syncing with the movements of Blackwall and Iron Bull as they slashed and blocked its attacks. Just as it seemed they had the beast on the run, Iron Bull had an idea.

"Dwarf, come here!" The Qunari called out to Varric who was unsure of what to think. But his idea was brilliant; Bull grabbed Varric and planned to launch him at the knight-captain!

"Take these!" Samira tossed him her daggers and before Varric even had a chance to protest, Bull was about to launch the dwarf right at the behemoth as its defenses were down.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, SHITTTTTTTTTTT!" Varric yelled out as Bull launched him through the air towards the target. Samira had a second to be impressed as she watched Varric fly and connect with the behemoth, luckily the daggers did their work.

"Well, that's one way to do it." Samira sarcastically said before running back to the trebuchet to finish her work. Iron Bull insisted this time to get the job done faster and when it was finally ready, they heard the dragon circling back, headed straight for them.

"Move! Now! You all need to leave!" She yelled at the three of them, a look of fire in her eyes with no patience for them to disobey her.

"Samira!" Blackwall protested, with Varric tugging at his arm to get out of there.

"I don't want to hear it, there's no time. Take care of my horse! Good bye." Samira said to the men before the dragon approached, its fiery breath raining down on them. The power of it as it connected to the ground near the mage sent her flying backwards, almost knocking her unconscious. She quickly looked back and saw her friends were finally gone, but to her chagrin a tall dark figure was approaching in the distance, walking through the fiery scorched ground.

"Who the fuck are you?" Samira incredulously asked the twisted, tall figure that did not look human. The ground trembled as the dragon landed behind her, closing her off from any hope of escape. It hissed as it approached her, and Samira could do nothing to stop it.

 _Holy fucking shit!_

"Enough!" The figure said, displaying his power to show dominance in the field.

"Pretender. You toy with forces beyond your ken. No more."

"Whatever the hell you are, I'm not afraid!" Samira took a deep breath within herself and prayed to Andraste she would stand against this creature.

"Words mortals often hurl at the darkness. Once they were mine. They are always lies. Know me, know what you have pretended to be. Exalt the Elder One! The _will_ that is Corypheus! You will kneel!" The creature who finally had a real name to go by pointed his long gnarled finger at her, his voice full of malice and arrogance, but Samira didn't buy it.

"You'll get no such thing from me! What do you want from us?" She called out to the thing.

"It is not in your power to give, but that will not stop me." He held in his hand some sort of orb that began to glow with intense red energy.

"I am here for the anchor. The process of removing it begins now." He seemed to draw from it and began to beckon at Samira's hand which betrayed her as it began to glow in return.

 _What in the hell is happening?_

"You interrupted a ritual years in the planning, and instead of dying, you stole its power!" He pulled more at the anchor now, increasing the level of discomfort Samira felt to borderline pain. She clutched at her hand to try to stop it, but was futile.

"I do not know how you lived, but what marks you as "touched," what you flail at rifts, I crafted to assault the very heavens." Corypheus's ominous truth confused and upset Samira, but she couldn't believe it. His drag on the anchor increased so much next it brought Samira to her knees, helpless.

"You used the anchor to undo my work! The gall!"

"This was granted to me by Andraste! She saved me!" Samira protested, trying to cling to faith even though she had been uncertain before.

"Then your lady has meant for you to die. It is meant to bring certainty where there is none. For you, the certainty that I will always come for it." He strode forward and roughly grabbed her by the wrist and effortlessly hung her much smaller frame in the air to observe the anchor.

"I once breached the Fade in the name of another, to serve the Old Gods of the empire _in person._ I found only chaos and corruption. For a thousand years I was confused. No more. I have the _will_ to return under no name but my own, to champion withered Tevinter and correct this blighted world. Beg that I succeed, for I have seen the throne of the gods, and _it was empty!_ "

 _He's absolutely insane!_

Corypheus ended his explanation by throwing Samira into the side of the trebuchet, she cringed as her back connected with the solid wood.

"The anchor is permanent. So be it. I will begin again and find another way to give this world the nation-and _god_ -it requires." Samira scrambled to her feet and grabbed at the sword that lay by her, ready now that he let go of her anchor. Samira looked up and finally saw the signal fire from the distance in the mountainside she had been waiting for.

"I will not suffer even an unknowing rival. You _must_ die."

"You think you've won and expect me to fight, but that's not why I've kept you talking. I'm not ready to die today...enjoy your victory, here's your prize!" She kicked the lever to the left of her and the trebuchet launched a huge stone into the mountain.

The avalanche quickly descended down to the village, and all Samira could do was run for her life as the dragon swooped a furious Corypheus up and away. As the force of the snow reached her, she fell through an opening in the ground before being knocked out. She did not know if she was alive or not as her mind drifted for eternity. And then voices called out to her, some familiar but she could not make them out. The last whisper sounded like a man she knew, but she could not grasp onto it.

 _Samira..._

 _Samira…wake up…._

 _Samira..._

 **A/N: So yeah, I had to go there with Varric lol first, I've always envisioned that he would be the cigar smoking badass type, and I don't get why they never had Bull launch him at anything lol I think that would have been awesome to put in the game. Any of the companions fighting in any of the scenes and not just in the playthrough would have been cool.**

 **Any ways, who do you think Samira heard in her 'dream'? Next chapter will pick up immediately after this in the tunnel the Herald fell into! Review if you've got any ideas or feedback, as always it's appreciated. -Erulastiel**

 **P.S. I finished Trespasser, it kind of blew me away! I won't spoil it though, that's for the end of the story I'm planning :3**


	9. A New Place

**A/N: Silkenslay, thanks for the story follow! Most of this chapter is canon scenes, but the tavern scene is all mine. I was going to try to post the link of what Samira is going to wear, but I forgot how to properly get it on here without it not showing the link, so if you're interested in seeing it** **you can message me about it, it's really cute!**

 **Chapter 9: A new place**

Samira opened her eyes when the voices stopped, seeing a darkened tunnel that lay ahead of her. Clutching to her side, Samira gasped at the nudging pain that plagued her but she would not let it stop her from finding a way out. When she stumbled on a group of demons down the passage before the exit, it took all of Samira's strength to hold them off until her mark did her work for her. A new power came to be that opened a fade rift, dealing just enough damage to her enemies to finish them off.

 _This 'anchor' continues to surprise me!_

As she exited the tunnel, Samira noticed the cold winter winds of the night had increased ten fold; she surmised it might have had something to do with the avalanche from earlier. She clutched to herself as she trekked through the snow, hoping to find some sign the Inquisition was still around. Time went by and still there was no sign and Samira had started to lose hope as she began to hear wolves howl not far off. The snow was up to her boots, beginning to soak through, making Samira all the more miserable and cold trying to fight through it. As she started to near an opening between two rock walls, she saw some hope.

"Embers? Recent?" She said outloud to herself in loneliness, seeing an abandoned fire before walking between the rock pass.

"There! It's her!"

"Thank the Maker!" Came the voices of Cullen and Cassandra who so happened to be searching in the area, where a camp was established nearby. Samira sank to her knees, letting them give out in exhaustion finally. All sense of strength and coherence was lost to her while Cassandra and Cullen helped her down the hill with an arm around each shoulder.

"The Herald has come back to us!" Soldiers whispered among themselves as Cassandra gently helped set Samira down inside a tent and left her be. Samira fell backwards on the bed roll and finally was able to catch her breath. All she wanted to do was sleep but her thoughts gnawed at her.

 _Fucking Corypheus...what he said can't be true...the Maker may have turned his back on us but he can't be dead!_

"I just heard they found you!" Came the voice of Blackwall as he seemed to rush into the tent, concern in his voice.

"Low and behold, I am alive!" Samira found it in her to appear as normal as possible, given the circumstances.

"Woman, you are absolutely insane…" He came to her and crushed her in a hug, barely leaving her room to breath.

"Ooh! Ouch, careful, I think I'm bruised just about all over." He let up and gave an apologetic look on his face as he settled next to her.

"I'm just relieved to see you come back in one piece. What happened?"

"Well, I probably fell more than twenty feet through this hole in the ground that led to an underground passage. Must have had Andraste's luck for the snow not to bury me…" Samira's voice grew quiet now that she was alone with the man again. The last few hours she had no time to think of herself, only on what was required of her and now was the first time she could think of that.

"It felt...wrong to let you face that thing by yourself." Blackwall replied, breaking the silence that held thick in the air after her last statement.

"Blackwall, it's fine really, I-" And then he did what she never expected him to do, he cut her off with a kiss. She instinctively reacted, her lips joining with his softy, but they did not part. Blackwall took her in his arms and did not falter on his path, but Samira did. She broke it off, confused but too exhausted to protest it.

 _Maker, what is happening to me..._

"What was that for?" Samira's cheeks flushed in surprise and embarrassment to feel so out of control.

"I wanted to thank you, my lady. I've never seen anyone do what you did. It took courage."

"If a kiss is what I get for almost sacrificing myself to save the Inquisition, I wonder what I'll get for saving the world!" Samira awkwardly ran a hand through her cropped hair and tried to make sense of the confusion of her feelings for the man. She was insanely attracted to Iron Bull and even had some degree of feeling for him (although they were not typical feelings), but Samira found herself thinking of Blackwall as well.

 _It's that damn beard of his, I swear. And the eyes…_

Samira mentally reprimanded herself for the thoughts, she knew nothing good would come of it if she pursued him.

 _I could never give him what he needs._

"I'm sure we would figure it out." He winked at her and got up.

"But for now, I'll leave you be. You should rest."

"I can't sleep, as tired as I am. I should go out there and see what's going on." He helped her up and out of the tent, as she still felt strain pulling at her leg.

"We need a consensus or we have nothing!" Samira heard a heated debate as she took a place sitting next to Mother Giselle.

"Please, we must use reason! Without the infrastructure of the Inquisition, we're hopeless!" Josephine said as the leaders fought around the campfire on what to do.

"You should be resting, Herald." The mother compassionately said in a calm demeanor she always had.

"They've been at it since I came back."

"They have that luxury thanks to you. The enemy could not follow, and with time to doubt, we turn to blame. Infighting may threaten as much as this Corypheus."

"Well, not like I'm getting any sleep. I should go help them plan." Samira sighed, her eyes feeling heavy but her mind keeping them wide awake.

"Another heated voice will not help. Especially yours. Our leaders struggle because of what we saw. We witnessed our defender stand and fall...and now we have seen her come back. Your actions are becoming more and more miraculous to the troops. It all seems ordained, does it not?"

"You make it sound like I rose from the dead! What troubles me is Corypheus said the heavens were empty, nothing golden." She shook her head at the notion.

"The living are not meant to make that journey. Perhaps these are lies he must tell himself, rather than accept that he earned the scorn of the Maker. I know I could not bear such." As much as Samira wanted Mother Giselle's words to comfort her, she could find none.

"Mother, we need more than faith now." She resigned herself to the conversation, obviously her faith troubled more than ever. She looked around the camp and saw all of her companions, glad that they were alive but discontent with losing Haven.

 _Things have changed._

And when all hope seemed to have been left where Haven now lay buried, Mother Giselle stoked the Inquisition's fire by softly singing.

" _Steel your heart, the dawn will come. The night is long, and the path is dark. Look to the sky, for one day soon, the dawn will come."_ Giselle sang out next to Samira, and slowly more people joined her in the song, starting with Leliana who had the most beautiful voice.

" _The shepherd's lost and his home is far. Keep to the stars, the dawn will come."_

" _The night is long, and the path is dark. Look to the sky, for one day soon, the dawn will come."_ Even Cullen joined in as members of the Inquisition flocked in front of Samira, some kneeled in front of her, others rose their fists to their chests in respect and loyalty. Samira had tears in her eyes as she joined in the song, feeling the power of hope and resilience fill her heart.

" _Bare your blade and raise it high. Stand your ground, the dawn will come."_ They all sang the chorus one last time together, their voices strong and willful, their spirits finding their purpose again.

"That was...beautiful, Mother Giselle. Thank you." She spoke her gratitude as the camp livened up again, bursting with voices now instead of somber silence. Samira wiped a stray tear away from her eye and finally knew what it meant to be the Herald of Andraste, whether it was the truth or not.

 _I've never felt this duty and loyalty to something before, I think this is what I want to do._

"A word?" Solas came out of the shadows where he usually lingered, not the one to be at the forefront of things. She followed him to a more secluded spot overlooking a cliff close by.

"A wise woman, worth heeding. Her kind understand the moments that unify a cause, or fracture it." Solas lit a torch with the wave of his hand and placed his hands behind his back.

"I've come to learn that in a very short time, Solas." Samira said, leaning on her staff she planted into the ground. She was still very tired and sore, but with time to herself she planned on using magic to expedite the healing.

"The orb Corypheus carried, the power he used against you, it is elven. Corypheus used the orb to open the Breach. Unlocking it of course caused the explosion that destroyed the Conclave. I do not yet know how he survived, nor am I certain how people will react when they learn of the orb's origin."

"This whole mess is confusing, I can see how Elves are an easy target."

"History would agree, but there are steps we can take to prevent such a distraction."

"We need to figure out where the Inquisition will go now, with no home…" Samira lamented.

"By attacking the Inquisition, Corypheus has changed it. Changed you. Scout to the north, be their guide. There is a place that awaits for a force to hold it. There is a place the Inquisition can build, grow."

"We'll set out first thing tomorrow then! I must tell the others...Solas?" Samira said, her voice excited.

"Yes, Herald?"

"Thank you, for everything." He nodded to her and she couldn't help but almost skip off back to the camp. After bringing Cullen, Leliana, Josephine, and Cassandra on board, Samira sat down at the campfire with Sera, Varric, and Iron Bull.

"It's good to see you back with us, Samira." Varric said, passing her some bread and cider.

"Oh Maker, thank you for this!" She found herself scarfing down the bread quickly, grateful.

"I can't wait to get a drink." Bull said, winking at Samira when no one was looking.

 _I see nothing has changed with Bull. Wonder if he's still mad at me?_

"I would stay longer, but I think I'm going to find a tent and rest before we head out tomorrow." When she crawled inside the tent, she took her boots off and didn't bother undressing further, knowing she would freeze even with the enclosure to block out the night's wind.

"Boss?" Iron Bull peeked his head inside, careful of his horns getting in the way.

"You can come in." She said softly, her body finally beginning to relax.

"I thought we could talk. I wanted to see how you were holding up." Bull surprised her, they never talked about personal feelings.

"Well, you might as well keep me warm." She patted the bed roll, beckoning him to sidle up to her.

"That's my girl." He lay down and put his arm around her, bringing all of his warmth with.

"I thought maybe you'd still be mad at me after what I said before."

"Me, mad? Maybe I was a little jealous, but I'm fine now. I was more worried about you after it seemed like that Corypheus asshole killed you." He snorted, the matter of death light on his lips.

"I'm used to being a loner, so I wasn't that concerned about anyone missing me to be honest." She shrugged, although deep down she really did care.

"That's a load of crap and you know it, Boss. I'm Ben-Hassrath, remember? I've probably got you read better than you know your own self. For all the confidence and sex appeal you exude, you're being hard on yourself." Bull chided her, knowing her too well now.

"Perhaps you're right, I'm just too stubborn. I was on my own for so long, I'm just now getting used to all of this. I don't trust easily." She said, nuzzling her face against him.

"You trust me or you wouldn't let me do the things I've done to you!" They chuckled at the thought.

"Oh, Bull. Okay, you've got me there. Besides that, you have been a good friend to me."

"Damn right I am, woman!" He kissed the side of her head and let her fall asleep.

Samira woke when dawn approached, her body stiff from the bedroll. She poked her head out of the tent and saw the rest of the Inquisition was beginning to rise, so she decided to go out and find what she needed for her potion. She made do with the spare amount of elfroot she could find, tucked away into the crevices of the Frostbacks and retrieved the rest of the ingredients from Adan.

"What's that?" Blackwall asked as he rose from his sleep.

"Just a little something to get me back on my feet. Uck!" She cringed at the taste as she swallowed.

"I thought you should know that Raven has been looked after. Threnn thought she might like being around me more, so I made sure she got her sugar cubes!" He smiled as realization hit Samira that she had not seen her horse since the battle.

"Oh, Maker she's going to be so mad at me! Thank you." She leaned up and kissed him on the cheek before speeding off to find her.

"I know you're mad at me, I'm sorry!" She hugged Raven around the neck and kissed her on the snout, more happy than she'd ever been to reunite safely with her old friend.

"She is happy to see you." Cole surprised Samira, seemingly appearing out of thin air.

"Yes, she is!" She laughed as Raven neighed in reply, brushing her cold nose against Samira's face.

"Are you ready, girl?" Samira began to saddle the horse up as the rest of the Inquisition finished packing up everything. The Inquisition travelled mostly on foot through the Frostback's for two days with Samira at the forefront. The land was vast, Samira felt like she would never see the end of white. Solas said they were almost there, which only made the mage more eager to find their destination. When she reached the edge of a cliff, she crawled up the rock and looked at all of the tall peaks the Frostback had to offer.

 _Now that I don't have to worry about this place killing me, I can see how beautiful it is!_

"Solas! Are you sure we're near? You said that two hours ago." She asked, but Solas only beckoned for her to continue up a nearby hill. And that is when she saw the wonder. Samira's eyes widened in amazement when she reached the top of the hill for what she saw was a grand castle perfectly situated in the side of the mountain.

"Skyhold." He spoke the name and Samira knew it was all destined to be. She began to make her way down the hill wordlessly, beginning to run even though the Inquisition had to stay at a slow pace.

"Look at this beauty! Come on, everyone!" She yelled over her shoulder to her friends who were just as glad as her.

The full Inquisition arrival took about an hour for everyone to reach the main gate, by then Samira had already raced around the grounds that was to be their new headquarters.

 _It has so much potential!_

After Samira was done venturing, she laid her belongings down in the main towers bedroom, automatically laying claim. She unpacked in a messy fashion, throwing her clothes over her shoulder as she looked for the brown suede bodice she tucked away, never having a chance before to wear it. She threw off her clothes and changed into a slim cotton tunic and proceeded to put on the armless bodice that laced up in the front. The tunic was made to hang off her shoulder, so bare skin showed between the tunic and where the bodice started on top of her shoulder. Samira particularly liked the design as the collar stuck up instead of laying downwards like regular material would, but that's why she chose it.

 _The materials thick, certainly not flimsy so I know it's durable._

Samira wore her usual pants and laced up her boots and finally joined the Inquisition, seeing they were just now finishing bringing everything in. The main courtyard brought her in the same area as Cullen, Cassandra, Josephine, and Leliana who seemed to be deep in conversation. Cassandra was the first to notice her and waved her over. The others mysteriously slipped away as Samira stood in front of the Seeker.

"Word is quickly spreading across Ferelden. Skyhold is becoming a pilgrimage for all now." She beckoned her to walk with her up the side stairs that led to the upper level of the courtyard and continued.

"If word has reached these people, it will probably have reached the Elder One. We have the walls, the numbers to put up a fight here, but this war is far more than what we anticipated. But we now know what it was that allowed you to stand against Corypheus...what drew him to you." They reached the top of the stairs and turned a corner and stopped briefly before going to the main stairs.

"I'd like to say it's because he's an insane monster, but maybe it was because of my efforts for the Inquisition. Or probably both, he's definitely psychotic! But I do know he wants me dead." Samira brought her hand up and saw it glow softly as if it was reflex to her thinking about it.

"The anchor has power, but it's not why you're still standing here." They continued walking.

"Your decisions let us heal the sky, your determination brought us out of Haven. You are the creature's rival because of what _you_ did, and we know it. All of us." As the pair walked up the stairs Samira was surprised to find Leliana ready to greet them; an ornate longsword held out in offer with her head bowed.

 _Why's she got a sword? And why is she bowing her head to us?_

"The Inquisition requires a leader, the one who has already been leading it." Cassandra said as Leliana approached Samira with the sword.

 _I've been ambushed!_

Samira smiled when she looked out and saw the gathering of Inquisition members looking up to her, Cullen and Josephine among them.

"You."

"I must have heard wrong, but a _mage_ at the head of the Inquisition?" Samira said incredulously, feeling there would be plenty of people against the idea of it.

"Not a mage, you." Cassandra said, not caring about who she was.

"Well, last time I checked, I practiced magic." Samira replied, slightly sarcastic with some cynicism.

"Of course there will be some objection, but times are changing. Perhaps this is what the Maker intended." Cassandra gestured her forward.

 _About time for some damn change!_

"The Inquisition would be nothing without you, Samira. How it will serve, how you lead: that must be yours to decide." That left the mage to think for a moment as she stared at the beautifully crafted sword and grasped it with her right hand.

"I'll set an example as a mage, of course. Corypheus intends to be a god, to rule over us all. He must be stopped." She said with newfound determination, as the Inquisition had inspired her as much as her actions had inspired them.

"Have our people been told?" Cassandra called out to Josephine who answered with a smile.

"They have, and soon the world."

"Commander, will they follow?" Cassandra asked, all formality in her voice.

"Inquisition, will you follow?" The commander strode out in front of the huge group which replied in cheers.

 _I can't believe this is all happening to me! This is so frigging cool!_

"Will you fight? Will we triumph?! Your leader, your Herald, your Inquisitor!" Cullen roused the crowd to a roar as he turned and rose his sword to Samira, causing her to beam with pride.

 _Damn, Cullen! Thanks for that speech are in order!_

Samira rose the sword in the air triumphantly in acceptance of her new role. She couldn't help but laugh at Josephine who got embarrassed for her apparent "unladylike" celebration with the crowd.

"Tonight, we drink, Inquisition!" She called out, deciding this was a day of celebration for all to partake in. When everyone had settled down, Samira joined her advisers to survey the great hall that would be the center of Skyhold. Although it had been abandoned for a long time, Samira instructed Josephine to gather as many workers who could start working on clearing out all of the rubble.

"So this is where it begins." Cullen said as he looked around the hall.

"It'll do just fine I think! Could use some love, but Josephine and I will start working on that as soon as possible." She winked at the woman, knowing she would appreciate the help.

"It began in the courtyard, this is where we turn that promise into action." The spymaster spoke up.

"But what do we do? We know nothing of this Corypheus, except that he wanted your mark." Josephine spoke even as she looked over her notes and wrote down random thoughts.

"We'll have to look more into it. Can he strike at us here? We can't let Skyhold turn into Haven." Samira rested her hand on her dagger hilt like she usually did even when danger wasn't around.

"Skyhold can withstand Corypheus. After what you did with one trebuchet, I'd bet against direct attack." Samira listened to Cullen's expert advice, agreeing, but knowing the Inquisition could still be vulnerable to the magister in other ways.

"We do have one advantage though. We know what he intends to do next. In that strange future you lived, Empress Celene had been assassinated, and the south was conquered with a demon army. I'd feel better if we knew more about what we were dealing with." Leliana obviously didn't like being in the dark since it went against the whole point of her profession.

"I think I know someone who can help with that." Varric said as he approached the group.

"Varric, love! Hope you've settled in alright." Samira beamed at her dwarven friend.

"Thanks for asking, kid. You'll have to join me in Wicked Grace tonight! Anyways, everyone acting all inspirational jogged my memories. So I sent a message to an old friend. She's crossed paths with Corypheus before, and may know more about what he's doing. She can help." They shook hands in comradery.

"You're on. I'm always looking for new allies. When will she be here?"

"It'll be some time, but when she does get here, it's probably better we meet her in private. I'll set up a meeting on the battlements when she arrives."

"Well, we stand ready to move on both of these concerns." Josephine said as she scribbled down the plans. The ball was still a few weeks away, so Josephine had time to secure an invitation.

"On your order, Inquisitor." Cullen said, which reminded Samira she was now truly the leader of something, something very important.

 _Inquisitor, that does kind of have a ring to it._

"I know one thing, if Varric has brought who I think he has, Cassandra's going to kill him!" Leliana left it at that, Samira having no idea who she was talking about.

 _Huh. Must have to do with something pre-Inquisition._

"Well, if that's all, I think I'll set to getting the tavern up and running! We can't have our soldiers without a drink and a good song to warm their morale!" Samira almost skipped off, tending to its restoration.

"Now, boys. I know we don't have a lot of time to clear this place out and set things up, but let's try to do our best so we can all have a drink tonight!" Samira helped the workers clear out all the extra beams of wood and rubble that lay in disarray, and by the time they were done two hours later, she had worked up a sweat.

"I love seeing a woman get her hands dirty, boss!" Iron Bull called out to her, standing in the entrance of the tavern.

"You know, a big Qunari like you could break a sweat too and help us!" She teased him as she swept the dirt from the floor into a dustpan.

"Inquisitor, do you want us to start bringing in the tables and chairs?" The lead worker asked her as the tavern was ready for set up.

"Of course! I heard the new bartender is a dwarf named Cabot, you can refer to him on where to place all of it." The workers walked out with their new task which now left Samira alone with Bull. Samira finished sweeping in front of the fireplace, then set the broom to the side, tired but still exuberant as the effect of becoming Inquisitor was still fresh in her mind.

"Sorry, boss. Had some business to attend to with the Chargers, making sure everything's in order." He walked up to her and grazed a finger along her cheek.

"Oh, likely excuse! So, are you going to kiss me or not?" She teased him, feeling playful amidst all that was to do with Skyhold's repairs.

"You're lucky we're not in your room right now, or I'd tear your clothes to pieces, Kadan." He lightly pushed her against the brick and could feel the heat of the fire warm their bodies.

 _Oh, I'm glad to have this simplicity back. A good man to heat my body..._

"You ass! This bodice is practically one of kind, I don't think I could sleep with you again if you ruined it." She winked and leaned up to kiss him, which he happily accepted. But even with that supposed simplicity, Samira was still finding herself thinking about Blackwall in the corner of her thoughts. Even when she was distracted by Iron Bull, the thought of it made her stop kissing him and pull away.

"What was that for?" Bull asked, not sure why she would stop when she never had a problem with it before.

 _Shit._

"I'm just...a little tired is all. There's so much to do!" Even though she fibbed, somehow Bull bought it, or just chose not to press the issue any further this time around.

"I can imagine, but that's because you're the Inquisitor now! You're doing good for yourself, girl. I'm happy for you." He smiled, and Samira knew then that he cared for her in his own Qunari way.

Even though their relationship was friendly casual sex, Samira knew deep down he cared for her more than that. That conflicted her; she knew she was playing with fire thinking of two men in ways more than a friend would, and it scared her because of her reservations with love. As she had been doing previously, Samira avoided the thoughts and feelings the best she could and continued on with life trying to be blissfully ignorant of them.

"Ah, here's the boys! Pretty soon we'll have this tavern up and running and I'll get Maryden in here to play us some songs! I might even sing with her." Samira brought her cheery facade back up and announced when the men started to bring tables and chairs in.

"I think we'd all like that, your worship!" The lead worker complimented her as they started their work.

"Thank you, I appreciate that!" She smiled and continued working, this time with Bull's help.

Samira coordinated with Cabot on where Bull was to put the giant casks in the back room of the tavern and soon Samira saw some Inquisition members gather outside the tavern. When the sun was setting, all their work and what they could do at the time was finally finished, leading Samira to exit the tavern and address the members.

"My dear ladies and gentleman of Skyhold, I humbly welcome you to a place where we can all relax to fine music of the lovely bard, so to speak minstrel, Maryden Halewell and drink our worries away! But what shall we call it?" She quizzically asked the group, deferring to the Inquisition to name it.

"Your worship, we was talking about, waiting for the tavern to open...and we thought we could call it, Heralds Rest?" One woman called out, which warmed Samira's heart at the suggestion.

"That's a wonderful name, very fitting as I'll be here quite a lot in my spare time, if I any. I want you all to know, this is a place where we can leave our burdens behind us, so come celebrate our arrival at Skyhold and have a drink on me!" Samira knew her coin purse would probably end up empty, but she didn't care. She wanted to be good to these people.

 _They believe in me, and that's more than I ever got out of my family._

Once everyone was settled into the Herald's Rest, Samira volunteered to help Cabot serve drinks, as Flissa had joined the Chantry after being saved at Haven.

"You plan on joining us any time?" Blackwall called out to her from a table upstairs where he sat with Bull, Varric, and Sera. Cabot basically shooed her away, telling her he had everything covered and to enjoy herself.

"Don't start without me!" Samira hurried up the stairs and sat in the seat Blackwall had pulled out for her.

"You won't steal a win from me again!" Sera said cocky, but she ignored the fact she had to play against three other players this time.

"So, what will the stake be then? I'll put five coppers down. Oh, before I forget, where's Dorian? I haven't seen him all day." Samira wondered where her cousin could have been, when she knew he loved the game.

"Mustache is too busy perusing the library in Nightingale's tower. He said he'd catch the next one." Varric said, lighting up a cigar.

"Varric, are you starting a bad habit?" She chided him as she took a swig of ale in her mouth ironically.

"Ey, you're one to talk, Inky-drinks-a-lot!" Sera laughed at the name, always amused by the silly things that came out of her own mouth.

"I don't have a problem! I just really enjoy a good drink." Samira defended herself as she played her turn of the game.

"Yeah, yeah. I just thought it'd go good with the drink." Varric said and on they played. As Samira slammed down a couple of drinks, she started to regret betting five coppers at the start of the game.

"Ha! I win!" Iron Bull slammed his fist down in triumph when he drew the Angel of Death card and narrowly beat out Varric with a stronger hand of suits.

"Oh, bollocks! Here's your fiver coppers, now go buy a lady a drink! Ha!" Samira smirked as she knew Bull would do it, so she had no worries with losing the coin. Sera coughed up two coppers, Blackwall and Varric gave their three coppers over to the Qunari.

"Must be nice to have the winner wrapped around your finger, Inquisitor." Varric said when Bull went downstairs to get more drinks, but couldn't help holding in a teasing chuckle.

"Varric! He is not wrapped around my finger." She indignantly protested, but couldn't help but see Blackwall's eyes pierce her frame.

"If you say so, Samira…" Varric said, puffing on his cigar that was halfway gone now.

"Yes, I do say so. Samira Trevelyan has never been tied down!" Samira grabbed her drink and stood up on her chair daringly to prove her point.

"Oh my, you gonna fall if you aren't careful, Inky!" Sera giggled to herself, easily the drunkest of the bunch, Samira probably coming in second, and Varric a close third.

"I'll say this, it would take quite a man to capture my heart, or whatever you wanna call it." Samira brought the mug to her lips and hiccuped, and started to sway, about to lose her balance.

"Aww, shit. I knew the Inquisitor couldn't hold her alcohol!" Varric exclaimed, laughing at the sight of her.

"I've got this...or maybe not." As she seemed to sway away from the chair and forward, Blackwall had enough wit about him to rush forward to catch her luckily.

"Whew, that was a close one, Herald!" Blackwall chuckled almost nervously, causing Samira to wonder why there was always a conservativeness about him.

"My hero! Look at him, everyone! A gallant warden here to save the Inquisitor!" Samira called out to the rest of the tavern who merrily cheered and raised their mugs.

When the drunken cheers died down, Samira brought her eyes to Blackwall's and found herself entranced by the grey color once again. Varric and Sera talked among themselves, knowing not to pry, or at least Sera was too drunk and distracted to.

"I love your eyes." Samira blurted out, almost feeling awkward but the alcohol gave her courage.

"As I do yours, my lady." As he sat her down, Bull came running up the stairs to announce the Chargers arrival at the tavern.

"Boss, the Chargers are pouring back drinks in your name! They want to get drunk and sing songs with you, you've gotta see this!"

"Oh, well, it looks like I am required downstairs, care to join in the comradery?" Samira smoothed her tunic and bodice out and they left Sera and Varric to contest another heated game of Wicked Grace. The Chargers were in the middle of their song when the trio reached the bottom floor.

" _For every bloody battlefield, we'll gladly raise a cup. No matter what tomorrow holds, our horns be pointing up!"_ Samira clinked her mug with the group and was insisted on having one last drink, which this time she sipped slower.

When she swung her hand down to her side, it grazed Blackwall's, Samira pretended not to notice. Blackwall clearly noticed as he looked down, the back of his hand softly moved to feel the skin of hers.

"Warden Blackwall, would you escort a lady to her chambers? I think I've had enough drink for one night." Samira couldn't help but to smile because they both knew speaking like a noble wasn't how she usually spoke.

"Wouldn't dare dream of any one else doing it." He held out his arm and escorted her out while Bull was surrounded by the Chargers in the middle of a story, so he didn't seem to notice her leave. The sun was long set and the night sky was peaceful as the rest of the Inquisition was beginning to settle in.

"It seems there's a lot of stairs to this place. Have to get my stamina up if I'm going to be running around here." They entered the great hall and nodded to the few nobles and merchants that were wrapping up business for the day before finding the door that led to the Inquisitor's chambers.

"I think you're just fine the way you are. Doesn't seem to phase you a bit." Blackwall commented, not realizing Samira was just filling the silence to talk.

"Oh, have you taken a gander, Warden?" Samira jested as they walked the winding tower to her room.

"Samira, you wound my honor!" Blackwall feigned offense, Samira glad he was loosening up in their new home.

"You should do that more often, you know." Samira said as they reached her door.

"Do what?" He asked, obviously needing a clue.

 _Oh, Blackwall._

"Well, loosen up like you just did. You usually seem tense, like too formal. And then theres…" She leaned in close to his ear and could tell his attention was fully on her.

"Also take more ganders, I won't mind." She whispered into his ear, her inner devil taking all the control from her senses that would object to this line of talk.

Before she would let him reply, she pushed a finger to his mouth in silence and left him standing there as she slipped behind the door and shut it. The last glance Samira had of Blackwall was of him standing there practically slack jawed and it was then Samira knew it was time to end her night of drinking and games, both of the card type and carnal.

 **A/N: So, I figured I kind of packed in a lot in this chapter, but I wanted to move the story along and with that finally came some more of that awesome slow burn Blackwall romance! Samira is still trying to quench any feelings she has (the reason I hinted at before with a certain mage she was involved with will come to light, explaining more of why she's closed off to love in an upcoming chapter) but she's been moving closer and closer to confronting that and having to deal with this little love triangle that's growing with Iron Bull and Blackwall.**

 **Next chapter expect some smut (I'm not giving anything away :P), you can expect a conversation with Blackwall in the romance direction with the battlements talk and Revelations to appear. Thanks for reading! -Erulastiel**


	10. The light and the dark of a heart

**A/N: And now with this chapter, we start getting into the emotionally meaty parts of the story. I meant to say in the last chapter that this one would feature Explanations, not Revelations, that will be in a future chapter. I had some trouble with the chapter title at first, until I decided a big theme I wanted to shine some light on was that black and white side Samira has to her feelings. The 'bad' side is the one that has stifled her emotions, leaving her pretty much non-committal to forging personal bonds with men, and the 'good' side is that hidden part that is within Samira to let her love again.**

 **P.S. Thanks to Notavailable42 for the follow! I have a new twitter I'll be devoting my fanfiction updates on: EruFanFic**

 **Chapter 10: The light and the dark of a heart**

As the weeks passed since establishing Skyhold, the Inquisition worked hard to cement itself as a real organization, and with Samira as its leader, she mostly was keeping busy planning moves that helped secure potential alliances with noble houses. Every day at dusk she stepped out of the Inquisitor's shoes and stepped back into Samira Trevelyan's boots, training physically and staying on her toes magically speaking. Sometimes she would spend two hours training with Cassandra, or with Cullen, but when they weren't available, she would spar with Iron Bull. Bull was particularly the hardest to train with, despite the relationship the two had, he spent no time coddling her.

"Are you gonna charge me or not?" Bull grunted at her as he held a shield up, waiting for her to charge him with the sword she gripped in her right hand.

"I'm simply contemplating a strategy!" Samira called out to him, twirling the sword around by rotating her wrist.

"Afraid I'll knock you down again, eh?" He teased, knowing that would annoy her.

"Of course I am! You're more than twice my size, I'd be daft to keep trying the straightforward way."

 _Longswords really aren't my thing anyways._

"The point of this exercise in particular is to get you used to taking hits. Most assholes out there aren't going to hesitate to throw you down and gut you if you let them. The more accustomed you become to pain, the better you'll be able to take it."

"So, I learn to use the pain to my advantage?" Samira brought her hand to her chin thoughtfully.

"Yes, and if you build up your tolerance, you might just be able to shake off something that could get you killed otherwise. Works for me." He shrugged.

"Bull, that's because you're huge." Samira crossed her arms, wagging an eyebrow at him.

"Still doesn't mean it can't help you. Now come at me!"

"Here goes nothing." She threw her sword arm at the shield as she charged and immediately found herself back on the ground, with the wind almost knocked out of her.

"Good! Now let's go get a drink!" Iron Bull threw the shield to the side and extended a hand to help Samira up.

"I can't, not just yet. I had plans with Solas, it's a magic thing."

"Eh, you know how I feel about all that Fade crap." He rolled his eyes at the thought of it, spirits and demons were probably the number one thing he had a distaste for.

"Yes, I know how you feel, but you know it comes with the package." She turned her back to him and was about to leave, before being startled by Bull smacking her on the behind. She turned and gave him a light chiding look before pulling at his horns downwards for a quick kiss.

"Mhm. See ya later, Kadan." Bull turned and walked away to his destination: Herald's Rest.

An hour passed talking with Solas about the Fade, magic, and the ancient Elves before Samira noticed the time. Ever since she last spoke with Solas and entered into a dream-like state of the Fade with him, she found herself enjoying his company more and more and recognized she had many more things she could learn from him.

"I believe that marks the end of our talk for now. Good night, Inquisitor." Solas rose from the table and bowed to her as Samira left.

As Samira exited the main hall of Skyhold, she breathed in the night air and contemplated between going to the tavern or somewhere else for the night. She looked out to see a candle was lit bright in the stables and decided to follow her gut instead of going for her usual drink.

 _I suppose I should stop and see Blackwall. I sort of feel bad for blue balling him two weeks ago._

She snuck up on him from behind when she saw he sat in a chair at the contained fire, his back was to her.

"Did you miss me, Warden?" She laughed as she squeezed his shoulders, even though he wasn't startled.

"A little. You've been busy since last time we talked." He raised an eyebrow at her as she sat in a chair pulled up to the fire.

"Yes, but I figure I had to squeeze in time for you. How have you been?" She rested her back against the chair and brought her green eyes to his, piercing him.

"Been thinking, a lot." Blackwall's typical brooding made an appearance in the conversation.

"What about?"

"Corypheus. At least in a fortress like this we'll be able to see him coming from miles away if he tries surprising us again."

"Something tells me you've got other things on your mind too." Samira prodded him, sensing he was leaving some things unsaid.

"Corypheus made a hundred enemies when he kicked down our door, and when he came after you, he _really_ made it personal. I swear I'll take that twisted bastard down, even if I have to die to do it." Blackwall said stoically, which gave a jump start to Samira's heart.

"I'm not losing any one to Corypheus, especially not you. And I've never been in the habit of saying that sort of thing to anyone, Blackwall." Samira crossed her arms, not liking the idea of losing him.

"Samira, you can't afford to think I'm special. I'm no different from any soldier lost at Haven. I can't deny I'm very fond of you, but whatever you want to call this is…" Blackwall looked down, his voice changing to a softer tone.

"What?" Samira could feel herself growing prickly.

She knew what he was getting on about, and didn't want to address it, but couldn't help herself but respond. The dark part of her wanted to deny it all, not let her have a chance to be happy with someone. The light within her that had been slowly growing protested this, pulling Samira into a direction that could either spell heart ache or fulfillment: love. She let her instincts guide the way this time, a hard feat to do when her conscious was always in control of her actions.

"It's impossible." Blackwall finished, not wanting to admit it.

"Why is that?" Samira moved to the edge of the seat and crossed her legs, her eyes still locked with his.

"My lady, don't. You're the Inquisitor, the Herald. People flock to your banner, ready to serve...to die. And I'm a warden. Duty calls above all else, our lives aren't ours to live." Blackwall rose from his chair.

"Well, I don't believe in all that; completely sacrificing everything and nothing in return? I believe one could fulfill one's duty and live their own life." She uncrossed her legs and moved to leave, but not before he grabbed her wrist.

"Samira, I...I hope you can forgive me for pushing you away. Come with me to the Stormcoast and I'll explain to you why I feel this way." He sighed, and Samira knew that this wasn't over, whatever 'this' was.

"That sounds ominous. Okay." She squeezed his hand and kissed him on the cheek before leaving to go to her bed chambers.

The next morning, Samira put on her typical black vest jacket outfit and met Blackwall in the stables.

"Bringing Raven with this time?" Blackwall said as he finished saddling up his Ferelden horse.

"Of course, she's barely been out the last two weeks. I'm sure she'd like to stretch her legs." She patted Raven after brushing her mane and took her position on top, ready to ride. The ride to the Coastlands was long of course, but not nearly as long as Samira's first trip. Leliana's scouts continued to find newer, better routes throughout Thedas.

"I trust we're almost there? You haven't said a word of what this place has to do with anything." Samira stretched her arms out, ready to go back to Skyhold, but remained patient.

"Up this hill here. We can tie the horses up at that tree." He led them to the tree at the base of the hill and they proceeded. When the ropes were fastened securely, Samira followed Blackwall's lead up the hill. After some time of silence and looking out to the sea, Samira saw Blackwall bend down and pick something off the ground.

"The Warden-Constable's badge." The way he acknowledged it Samira found odd.

"Dropped it, did you? Must have lost it last time we were here. How careless."

"How careless, indeed. After all, I did earn it. I shouldn't have let it go so easily." Blackwall sounded different then, as he almost spaced off in his own thoughts.

"I suppose it worked out then, us coming here…" Samira said, not knowing exactly what to say.

"Samira, this was my life before I met you. Crumbling ruins, endless battles. Death. I haven't known anything else for a long time, and being around you has...stirred things." He turned back from his thoughts to her when she approached him.

"Funny, that's what my life has been. Nothing really positive. The Maker must have thought it would be a good idea for us to meet."

"You tease, but...there's nothing here for me any more. We can talk back at Skyhold. I have to think." He cryptically ended it there, leaving Samira confused and still with questions but she continued with her patience, nonetheless.

On their way back, whenever they came upon bandits or a fade rift, Blackwall was just as protective over her, and Samira felt the two of them could take the world together. In the past, she always brought her friends with her, but now she was confident she didn't need the extra back up. Samira and Blackwall had grown together and knew how to fight well side by side. After making it back to Skyhold, Samira respected Blackwall by giving him space for the next few days, but after not hearing anything back from him, she started to get agitated.

 _I can't wait any longer! I'll send him a note!_

Samira's inner teenager flared as she sat at her desk and thought of what to say in it.

"Dear Blackwall...no, that won't do. Blackwall, if you don't come talk to me, I'll...now I just sound like a cunt." Samira threw her hands up in the air, frustrated at herself for lack of finding the right words.

 _Stop overthinking it and just write the damn note, Samira._

" _Meet me in my chambers tonight, I want to talk. -S"_ She stamped the bottom of the note with the Inquisition's seal and brought it to a scribe who said they would deliver it right away.

"And now I wait." Samira kicked her legs up on top of the desk, and after a couple of minutes, she found herself growing restless.

After some time, she decided to leave the chambers to get some air and came back, this time pacing almost nervously for Blackwall to arrive. It turned out he was already there, when she turned the warden was in the doorway that led out to the balcony overlooking the grounds.

"I knew you couldn't stay away." Samira couldn't help but have some satisfaction in her voice, seeing him lean up against the doorway.

"No, I couldn't." Blackwall sighed, but Samira knew it wasn't a bad thing.

"If only you knew how confounding you are, how impossibly infuriating." Samira kept smiling as he spoke, the light within her had silenced the darkness. Blackwall left the doorway and started towards her as he spoke. Samira did not falter.

"I wanted to thank you for accompanying me to that ruin. I wanted to-" When Blackwall got within a foot of her, the fire glowed warmly in his face, no longer seeming like shadows played across it.

"I just had to see you." He closed the distance, slowly but surely his face angled perfectly above hers and the distance was sealed when he took her mouth to his. Samira's body slightly swayed as the moment took them, and even though it was only a brief moment, Samira reacted fully this time, her lips were ready to part but then Blackwall broke off.

"No. This is wrong. I shouldn't even be here."

"Maker, this must be my punishment for that night I teased you! What's the problem? A vow of celibacy? A dead wife?" Samira smiled, not caring.

"Heavens no. It's nothing like that. I'm not what you want. I could never be what you deserve." Blackwall's response hurt Samira's being, she felt the exact opposite.

 _You poor thing, you don't even know how wrong you've got these roles reversed._

"If only you knew it's the other way around. Do you think that because you're a warden? You've got this obligation to fulfill?" Samira didn't understand why he was being like this; they had flirted and gotten to know each other so much more than she expected to and knew it had come to this moment.

"All I am, all I have, I gave to the wardens. There's nothing I can offer you. You'd have no life with me." The last part threw Samira off, all she wanted was to be with him at that moment. She brought her hand to his face and caressed his beard; he had softened her.

 _There's no going back at this point, I can't._

"Samira, I...I need you to end this, because I can't. I don't have the strength to say no to you now." He had a pained expression on his face, and all Samira wanted to do was stop it. Her empathy and desire for him intertwined, and although it all still confused her, she felt right in her response.

"I can't let this go now." Samira shook her head and felt a blush to her cheek as Blackwall brought his face close to her, their lips barely inches from one another.

"We'll regret this, my lady." Before she said anything back to him, she brought her fingertips to trace his lips slowly and leaned in to kiss him softly.

"Do you regret that?" Samira's inner temptress spoke and it was not a moment later Blackwall brought his lips to hers, this time parting them with his tongue. There were no more thoughts; Samira became lost in passion and only paid enough attention to their body movements as Blackwall moved her against the stairway rail, his arms now encircling her waist.

Samira brought her left arm around him and with the other roamed his arm up and down as he kissed her. He consumed her, his hands were tight around her waist, and his tongue left her wanting more and more as they danced with each other. Samira was grateful he did not break it off, she felt like she would die if he left her now. As one of Blackwall's hands reached up her back to feel her body against his, Samira began untying the thick brown overcoat he always wore and made her way down to the center buckle that kept it in place.

Blackwall moved from her lips to place hurried kisses all along her neck in between her shrugging him out of the coat and his thick gloves before she let him proceed to do the same to her. When it was her turn, she threw off the velvet scarf and let him unlace the strings in front of her bodice before she pulled him back to her. His lips took hers again, but this time Samira had enough mind to kick off her boots and bring her hands to the bottom of Blackwall's shirt. She gasped for breath in between his kisses and smiled when he allowed her enough time to pull the shirt over his head, showing a surprisingly muscled chest, full of dark hair with a hint of bristle to it.

After grazing her fingertips over it, she took his hand and led him over to her bed, ready to break all of her own rules. She laid back on the bed sideways, waiting for Blackwall to come to her. She waited as he followed suit by kicking off his huge boots and slowly climbed onto the bed over her. Samira's breathing started to pick up pace as the anticipation grew between the two of them. Blackwall looked down at her, stroked her flushed cheeks and brought his lips to slowly kiss her. Her fingers went through his hair, feeling soft long locks as he brought his hand to rest on her belly under her cotton shirt.

Samira bit her lip as her skin tingled in response; she then responded to his touch by guiding his hand upwards, not needing to show it all the way before he moved his hand to cup her breast. Samira's nipple automatically perked up in response, which made Blackwall grunt in approval. Samira moaned back as his hand roamed and squeezed at her; she couldn't help but intensify the kiss then. Shifting their position, Samira began to pull her pants off and proceeded to let Blackwall bring her shirt over her head, leaving her only in her scant underwear. Every time they removed an article of clothing, they resumed kissing, prolonging it out a bit more and each time their moans for each other increased.

When Samira could take no more waiting, her hands began to unlace the top of Blackwall's pants. He started to roam downwards too, he rest his hand over her core and could feel the wetness through her panties.

"Blackwall…" She breathed out his name when they stopped kissing and began a game of teasing.

"Samira…" He replied with his forehead resting against hers, catching his breath from all the kissing.

"Take me." She whispered, starting to tug downwards at his pants, needing him more than anything.

"My lady." He answered her with a kiss and pushed his pants down, now leaving Samira the only one with anything on, although that practically counted for nothing.

"Oh, Blackwall…" Samira said incredulously when she looked down and saw how thick around he was.

"Hope I don't disappoint." He gave a small chuckle, but Samira could tell there was some confidence hidden in his voice.

"Come here." She beckoned him with a finger to his chin, drawing him back to her lips. Their lips locked together and Samira groaned in pleasure as Blackwall pushed her panties to the side and slowly, almost tauntingly explored her.

His fingers were callused, but Samira couldn't tell as he found her clit and began to massage it in circles, his fingers feeling like velvet. Samira got more excited then, she nipped at his lip in answer as the motions caused intense pleasure to radiate all around her pelvis. Blackwall shifted his body on top of her then, but continued to massage her, this time he brought his lips over her neck and nipped back.

"Mmmm, Blackwall…" She murmured, squirming at his touch, desperately wanting him and needing to have more. When he sensed she had had enough, he leaned back and began to peel her underwear off, Samira could see his erection was stiff and ready for her.

"You are so beautiful." Blackwall marvelled at the sight of her naked form that lay under him, his hands rubbed her skin up and down until they reached her breasts, which he then cupped in his hands. Samira found herself blushing at him saying that, and smiled.

"What? Never been called beautiful before?" Blackwall's mouth pulled into a half grin.

"Not quite like you do. You're rather handsome yourself." She poked a finger at his gut, speaking like they were just in any regular conversation.

"Well, you are. Your skin is the softest I've ever felt…" He traced the backs of his fingers along her side and sent her shudders.

"Kiss me." She said with a sense of urgency in her voice suddenly, ready for him.

"As you wish, my lady." Blackwall leaned down, his form loomed over hers.

She brought her knees up and spread her legs to let him in between, giving him all the permission he needed. Samira wrapped her arms around his neck, their faces only a fraction apart as he moved into position. Gray and green eyes stared at each other as Blackwall's erection pushed up against Samira's entrance, the only thing that preventing it go further was Blackwall now.

"Blackwall, I need you." Samira barely whispered to him, the anticipation killing her. She easily welcomed him as he started to push his head in, but going all the way in was another matter.

As relaxed and ready as she felt, her walls immediately started to tense as Blackwall slowly pushed himself inside of her, causing her a mixture of groans and moans of pleasure in response. Blackwall kept his hands on her, his fingers played with her nipples as he settled himself into her and stayed still for a moment. Samira moved her hips upwards and in circles, getting used to him, which earned a sigh of approval from the warrior.

"You feel so right, here with me." Blackwall murmured into Samira's hair as he started to move in and out of her. Samira clenched reflexively, causing him to stiffen more as her walls goaded him on.

"Mhm!" Samira encouraged, her breathing getting away from her as she panted with his thrusts. His hips moved faster now, but not just in and out; Blackwall moved his hips in every direction as he penetrated her core, making her cry out in pleasure with it building up.

"Oh, fuck!" Samira cried out louder this time, her nails clutching his back side, grateful that he did not let up.

"Samira, this is amazing!" He panted into her ear, before pulling her up astride him. She sat atop him now, her legs folding behind her to straddle him. Samira placed her hands securely on his shoulders and began to use her leverage to ride him. Blackwall placed one hand behind him on the bed to steady himself as she went to work, slowly moving around his manhood.

"Maker, let me come…" She pleaded as her nerves burst with ecstasy that was not done yet. Samira continued to rock back and forth on Blackwall, kissing each other feverishly for several moments.

When Blackwall brought his hand to her clit again, Samira teetered on the edge of climax, but somehow he kept her on the brink. Her knees felt like mush, but gathering her magical energy about her kept her sustained long enough to keep going physically or else she would have been out of breath going at it so long.

"Oh, Samira. I'm close." Blackwall moaned into her mouth as their tongues fought with each other.

"I am too. Ohhhh…" She lost all control of words as Blackwall kissed at her neck and pushed at her clit with his thumb in a way that unlocked her.

She began to climax and rode it out for the longest moment, mentally seeing an explosion of stars. Her eyes transfixed on Blackwalls as he came in response, her unlocking becoming his own. He fell back on the bed and brought her with him, letting her rest her body on top of his.

 _Andraste's tits, that was like an explosion of stars meets the Fade…_

Samira slid off and laid next to him, letting him adjust his arm around her so she could lay her head on his chest. Their bodies pressed up against each other warmed each other more than the fireplace could ever.

"Was that what you expected it to be like?" Blackwall asked, his hand gently placed over her arm protectively.

"Hmm...I think it exceeded expectations." She slyly said, gazing into the fireplace.

"I'd say the same, and more of course, my lady." Blackwall turned her face towards him and angled her lips back up to his.

"I'm glad I please. Now, let's get under the covers, I'm so tired now!" She found the energy to rise from him and pulled back the bed covers, pulling him with her.

"Shall I put the fire out?" Blackwall asked, once again sounding as proper as he usually did.

"Oh no, I'd rather drift off to sleep with it here to warm us." They resumed their position, Samira curled up to him and draped one leg over his, their toes touching.

"I would warm you all night, if you'll have me." He gave a small smile to her, Samira blushed and thought nothing of it at the time. Her mind was off playing somewhere else tonight.

"I'd like that." She cuddled up to him and they kissed one last time and watched the fire burn out in silence before sleep took them for the night.

But sleep was not a pleasant dream like Samira had hoped it would be. A vague background materialized, Samira could tell it was the Ostwick circle tower.

" _Samira...I love you…" She looked at herself in the mirror and saw her seventeen year old self staring back. Her hair was shoulder length, back in a time Samira was still trapped by the restrictions of the circle._

" _No, you can't love me. They'll come for you if you do…" Samira cried out to the voice that spoke to her. When she turned from the mirror, he was there._

" _I don't care, Samira. They can't keep us apart!" The mage protested, coming to her now. His shadowed hand touched her face, making Samira shudder._

" _No, you don't understand what they're going to do…" Samira found her voice trailing off as her surroundings faded around her, this time the dream shifted to a dank room with three people, one of them being the mage._

" _You know the rules!" The templar's voice was harsh, nothing like the usual tame templars that were stationed at Ostwick. Samira backed up into the wall, her skin sweating as she re-lived her past in the nightmare._

" _Leave him alone!" Samira screamed, trying to stop the templars from hurting her love, but to no avail. Her hands phased through their forms like she wasn't there._

" _I love her!" The mage screamed as the templar started to beat him. Samira began to sob in pain for not being able to stop the torture, and for she knew what was going to come next in the nightmare._

" _Very well, then. Bring me the lyrium." The Knight-Commander said to the other templar._

" _No, please no! Anything but that!" He squirmed against his bindings, desperate to avoid what came next. Samira found herself huddling in the corner, unable to tear her eyes from the scene._

 _As the Rite of Tranquility began, Samira's stomach clenched, threatening to make her throw up as she watched with horror when the Knight-Commander began the rite. Before it could be finished, he held the lyrium brand above the struggling mage's forehead._

" _Do you denounce your love for Lady Samira Trevelyan?"_

" _Yes, yes, yes...please don't make me a Tranquil!" The mage moaned, tears running down his eyes. Samira hurt deeply, his words cutting her like knives to her gut._

" _That's a good mage." When the young man was given cause for relief one moment, the next was his demise. The commander nodded to the templar, and the brand was pressed against the mage's forehead, sealing the rite._

" _NOOOOOOO!" Samira's screams filled the room, drowning out everything else in it until there was nothing but darkness left to her. All that was left in this nightmare was the cold empty feeling Samira had replaced where her heart had been, ever since that fateful day had taken place in her life._

Samira woke to a cold sweat, the sheets around her were damp. She was glad she was the first to wake, managing not to wake up the warden who was still in a deep sleep. Samira took a long look at Blackwall, her feelings clouded with the now fresh memory that reminded her why she was a broken woman. She gathered her clothes up and dressed for the day, trying to be quiet.

 _I'm not quite ready for the morning after glory, I need to think on my own before he wakes up._

"Inquisitor, you're here early!" Josephine said when Samira entered her chamber.

"Josephine, is that invitation ready for the Halamshiral ball?" Samira wasted no time with Inquisition business, wanting to get back to work.

"Why, yes it is! I was going to approach you later today about it." Josephine rose from her desk and brought the plans to the Herald.

"From the Queen's cousin, Grand Duke Gaspard? You'll have to fill me in on all the important people at this ball, court intrigue isn't really my thing." Samira said to Josephine's dismay.

"Of course, your worship. I plan to be by your side, and Cullen and Leliana will be there as well, so you won't be alone. It's important we investigate this threat to the Empress with due caution though. The Game can be deadly if one does not know how to play it."

"I don't doubt it, but at least I have wit and charm on my side. How are the travel arrangements coming?"

"We can leave for the journey tomorrow! I've been preparing the last few weeks on the sly so we would be ready."

"Excellent work, Josephine." Samira forced a smile, wanting to show her gratitude she had Josephine's help.

"There is just one more small, but important manner I think I should address with you before we leave."

"Yes?"

"Who did you have in mind to bring along? Your entourage will not only reflect on the Inquisition, but the Inquisitor personally as well. Might I suggest bringing Vivienne and Warden Blackwall? Having the court enchanter and a decorated warden will put you in a good light. I doubt I must say this, but others should probably stay home for this event."

"Oh, you mean Sera? Probably right on that one, who knows what kind of mischief she would get into there." Samira laughed at the thought.

"Precisely!" Josephine said exasperated.

"Very well then. I'll refer to Vivienne and Blackwall if they'd accompany me. And Cassandra? I'm sure throwing in some more nobility couldn't hurt our image." Samira and Josephine concluded the plans and the next day, the Inquisitor led a small group of Inquisition soldiers to their destination.

Samira did her best to not show anything was wrong when she was in Blackwall's company, but she'd be a liar if she said it wasn't obvious she was keeping a certain distance from her lovers.

 _I'll deal with this Iron Bull/Warden Blackwall mess when we don't have to worry about Orlais falling into chaos!_

 **A/N: What did you think about Samira finally getting it on with Blackwall? Thoughts on her dream? I wasn't going to include that on this chapter at first, but as I sat editing, I felt like the chapter wasn't complete without it. I know I definitely left out the details on the whole Samira having loved someone in the past deal deliberately for the right moment to introduce that to the story, so I guess I felt ten chapters in was the right time.**

 **Halamshiral is next up, I don't plan on covering the whole thing (ugh, that would honestly be a pain to write that whole main quest out) and for my Iron Bull fans, I have not left him in the dust! Love triangles can be tricky, but its my first real attempt at writing one so if it seems a little janky in places, bear with me! Reviews are always appreciated, especially in this part of the story. I never know what's really good in my stories until I get outsiders opinions, so thanks! -Erulastiel**


	11. Deadly Delights

**A/N: This chapter took me longer to write due to working a lot and then I got sick, so I wasn't really in the mental mindset to write for a week. The end product was longer than I expected it to be, but since Wicked Eyes is sort of a milestone, it ended up making sense to me the length was what it was.**

 **After this chapter, I'm officially at the 50K mark!**

 **P.S. there are some skips over some parts because I didn't believe it was necessary to cover every single thing that happened since we all played it lol I try to show transitions in the story without having to show separation characters of some sort (I usually do that in my stories, but didn't want to with this one)**

 **Chapter 11: Deadly Delights**

"Inquisitor, surely you don't plan to wear that to the ball? Maybe it would be better to wear the same formal attire as us?" Josephine nervously twitched her fingers when she looked at Samira.

"I think quite the contrary, Josephine. Shouldn't I make a statement about who I am and also look good at the same time?" Samira checked herself in the mirror and smoothed her flowing red skirt to check for creases in the wrong spots.

 _I'm going in the lion's den where most will probably protest I'm a mage, so I need to make a bold statement since I'm already at a disadvantage._

"I suppose so, your worship. You do look rather ravishing, if I must say so." Samira caught Josephine blushing and diverting her eyes when the Antivan gazed at Samira's form.

Thanks to Vivienne, Samira wore an elegant, but sturdy black corset coupled with black lace adorning her arms and reaching up to circle around her neck. Vivienne's personal tailor even was able to sew on the Inquisition symbol embroidered in the center, making it stand out from the long red skirt, accompanied by black flats.

 _I may not see completely eye to eye with the enchanter, but her attention to style is something we can agree on!_

"And don't worry, I'm wearing pants under this, so if anything happens I can take this skirt off. Now, let's get going!" Samira held out her arm to Josephine and they linked up as they left the royal suite the Inquisitor had been afforded by the Empress.

As they walked the grounds of the Winter Palace to the main courtyard, Samira managed to ignore the stares they received by marvelling at the architecture of the palace.

"The political situation in Halamshiral hangs by a thread. The Empress fears our presence could sever it. The Grand Duke is only too happy of course to take advantage of that fear, so that is why our invitation comes from him. Whether we act as his allies, or upset the balance of power, he gains an opportunity...if not a clear advantage." Josephine said as the Inquisition soldiers formed rank in front of them in a salute.

 _Here goes nothing. Just play it cool like you always do._

"Speaking of which." Samira said under her breath as she saw Gaspard making his way to greet her. Josephine left the two alone to meet with the other advisers that had come along.

"Inquisitor Trevelyan! It is an honor to meet you at last." Samira was not completely lost to courtly manners, she remembered her curtsy she was taught at a young age and brought her hand up as Gaspard lightly kissed her knuckles.

"Grand Duke, the honor is mine." She gracefully regained her composure.

"I see you've brought the rebel mages into the ranks of your army, a brilliant move I must concede. Imagine what the Inquisition could accomplish with the full support of the rightful Emperor of Orlais!" Most of Gaspard's face was masked, leaving only his tone of voice to go off of, so she went with her gut instinct on how to go about this conversation.

"Ah, yes. Exactly what would be required to get that imperial support?" Samira placed her finger to her chin in an almost flirtatious manner.

"I am not a man who forgets his friends, Inquisitor. You help me, I'll help you." He beckoned her to follow him through the courtyard.

 _Uh huh, I doubt that doesn't come with strings attached, Grand Duke._

"My lady, are you prepared to shock the court by walking into the grand ball with a hateful usurper?"

"I can't imagine that crowd has seen anything better than us in their entire lives."

"You're a woman after my own heart, my lady. Surely they'll be talking of this into the next age! As a friend, perhaps there's a manner you could undertake this evening, with your particular talents at your disposal."

"You flatter me, Grand Duke."

 _What I really mean is, don't flatter yourself too much!_

"This elven woman Briala-I suspect she intends to disrupt the negotiations. My people have found these 'ambassadors' all over the fortifications. Sabotage seems the least of their crimes."

"I suppose I could look into it, and before you say anything else, I will be discreet."

"It is much appreciated. I detest the Game, but if we do not play it well, our enemies will make us look like villains." Samira nodded to his point and from there, the couple continued on to the main entrance of the palace.

Samira held her head high and kept her demeanor a cool confidence as she heard whispers of disapproval along her way. When she found her way to the vestibule, she met up with Cullen and Leliana before proceeding to the ballroom for their custom announcement. At the corner of Samira's eye she spied Blackwall casually leaning against a pillar, his eyes intent on her.

"Good evening, Warden Blackwall." Samira played the Game in front of everyone nearby who were no doubt eavesdropping on them.

"My lady, would you mind?" Blackwall gestured her over to a private corner which she gladly accepted to get away from the prying ears of the Orlesian nobles.

"Maker, I thank you for that. I doubt we'll have much privacy tonight." Samira looked behind her shoulder to make sure no one was watching them.

"Samira, you look absolutely beautiful tonight." Blackwall grabbed her waist and brought him to her, his eyes bearing down her chest.

"You look dashing yourself." Samira laid her hands over his chest, glad she wasn't wearing the same thing as the rest of them.

"I want to kiss you right now." He breathed into her ear, giving Samira small chills down the side of her neck.

"Afraid you can't. You'll smudge my lipstick and get it all over you! Josephine would probably have a heart attack and kill us both if we muck this up." Samira pouted, wanting that with him. She was glad he hadn't brought up her distance since their first and only night together, but as her usual self, she couldn't help but be drawn to him now.

"Ah, you're right. If we make Josephine wait any longer, we'll miss your grand announcement." He kissed her on the cheek and then she was off to join the duke.

"And now, presenting: Grand Duke Gaspard De Chalons, and accompanying him…" Samira postured herself perfectly as she made her way down the stairs, careful to not misstep.

"Lady Inquisitor Trevelyan, of the Ostwick Circle of Magi!" She bowed to the Empress across the room and took in everything before her. Her advisors stood attentive behind her, waiting on her descent down the stairs.

"Vanquisher of the rebel mages of Ferelden, crusher of the vile apostates of the mage underground!" Samira forced herself to keep an aura of calm about her even though she found the statement annoying.

 _Ignorant rhetoric._

"Champion of the Blessed Andraste herself!" When Samira made it down the last stair, she heard Cullen chuckling to himself. Samira patiently waited for the official announcement to finish before making her way forward as Josephine had instructed her previously.

"Did you see their faces? Priceless."

 _Priceless, indeed!_

"Accompanying the Inquisitor: Madame Vivienne, First Enchanter of the Imperial court, mistress of the Duke of Ghislain. Warden Blackwall of Val Chevin, constable of the Grey. Bearer of the silverite Wings of Valor. Seeker Cassandra Allegra Portia Calogera Filomena-"

"Get on with it!" Cassandra interrupted, making it hard for Samira to suppress a smile.

 _Who knew our stoic seeker had such a long name? I'm from a noble family and even I don't have that long of a formal name._

"...Pentaghast. Fourteenth cousin to the King of Nevarra, nine times removed. Hero of Orlais, Right Hand of the Divine." This was then Samira's cue to slowly begin walking the dance floor that was crowded with intrigued nobles who wished to see the Herald and Inquisition themselves.

"Ser Cullen Stanton Rutherford of Honnleath. Commander of the forces of the Inquisition. Former Knight-Commander of Kirkwall. Lady Leliana, Nightingale of the Imperial court. Veteran of the Fifth Blight. Seneschal of the Inquisition and Left Hand of the Divine. And Lady Josephine Cherette Montilyet of Antiva City. Ambassador of the Inquisition." Samira waited next to Gaspard as her trio of advisers caught up behind her and took their spots.

As Empress Celene spoke with Gaspard, Samira took the backseat until she was addressed directly. That part she knew how to do as it was a rule of her own home she was taught at a young age.

"Lady Trevelyan, we welcome you to the Winter Palace. Allow us to present our cousin, the Grand Duchess of Lydes, without whom this gathering would never have been possible." Samira noted how Celene swayed with grace, but thought it was odd how she seemed to carry her arms in a permanent pose that looked uncomfortable.

"What an unexpected pleasure. I was not aware the Inquisition would be part of our festivities. We will certainly speak later, Inquisitor." The Duchess said with a hint of snideness; Samira instantly disliked her for it.

 _That dress and hair, horrible looking! And she's obviously fake too. I'll have to watch out for that one._

"Your arrival at court is like a cool wind on a summer's day." Celene continued when Florianne took her leave.

 _Oh, poetry now? Two can play that game._

"I'm afraid that wind may turn foul tonight, but I am delighted to be here, your majesty." Josephine quietly sighed to herself, no doubt slightly disappointed in Samira's more direct jab at the assassination plot hanging in the air.

 _Eh, maybe it's not so much my forte._

"How do you find Halamshiral?"

"I've never seen anything like it, I can't put words to do it credit, your grace!" Samira internally wasn't very interested in the conversation, as she found no joy in the court system of Orlais.

 _At least Aunties summer gatherings weren't so bad, I thought I'd die as a child being dragged to those things._

"Feel free to enjoy the pleasures of the ballroom, Inquisitor. We look forward to seeing you dance." They nodded a farewell, leaving Samira to curtsy, her skirt swaying as she made her way back up the side stairs to Leliana.

"Inquisitor. A word, when you have a moment."

"Of course, Sister Leliana. I'll speak with you once I've mingled with some of the guests." She winked at her spymaster.

With Josephine at Samira's side, she made rounds around the ballroom, making her presence known and trying to show good relations from the Inquisition's side. At first, there was some element of mistrust, and in other circles, some nobles were basically clamoring to get to know the Herald of Andraste. Although the night was still young, Samira had business to attend to and that involved a certain amount of sleuthing around the palace to look into Briala and Gaspard's secret dealings behind the negotiations.

Between talking with the Celene's handmaidens, Gaspard, Briala, and Florianne, Samira knew she had her work cut out for her. Her determination to stop the assassination was keen in her mind, so staying at the task at hand was the number one priority above all else. After managing to sneak around the grounds (Samira had a hard time telling if it went entirely unnoticed) she had gathered some pretty incriminating evidence against Gaspard and even some questionable ones for Briala.

Moving on from those affairs, Samira's next target was investigation into Celene's cult advisor. While her companions were left at the masquerade, Samira managed to lockpick the door to the library to look more into the manner.

"Alright, now to look for a secret passageway, all the grand adventure stories boast of one in places like this…" Samira closed her eyes and focused on her magic to guide her to the right direction.

She walked forward and faced a bookshelf and gazed at its contents, looking for anything that looked out of place. She began to pull at books at random until her magic began to help her intuit her to the right one, finally unlocking the door that lay to her right. Entering the office, she looked at the desk and found a letter and read it.

 _Written to a 'Lady M' from the Empress herself, stating she needs her by her side tonight. Must be her arcane advisor._

Before Samira could explore any further, the bell rang out across the grounds, and Samira knew it was time for her to get back before she was noticed. Resigned from any more snooping, Samira slipped back into the crowded garden, giving Vivienne a smile on her way to the vestibule. As she was about to throw open the doors to the ballroom, she was stopped by a sultry female voice behind her.

"Well, well, what have we here? The leader of the new Inquisition, fabled herald of the faith. Delivered from the grasp of the Fade by the hand of Blessed Andraste herself. What could bring such a creature here to the court, I wonder?" Samira watched the woman walk down the stairs with a confidence that almost made her jealous.

"We may never know. Courtly intrigues and all that, of course. Pray tell, where did you get those boots from? I'm rather envious." Samira smiled at the mage, feeling like they could be sisters, at least on the basis that they had some similarities physically.

"Oh, these old things? I'll have a pair commissioned for you! And alas, such intrigues obscure much, but not all. Pardon me, I am Morrigan. On manners of the arcane, I advise Empress Celene."

"I figured you were, care to join me going back to the ball?" Samira gestured and the two mages walked side by side through the halls as a diversion.

"You've been very busy this evening, no doubt I am not the only one who has noticed you missing to every dark corner of the palace. Perhaps we are hunting the same prey?" She asked knowingly before they stopped their stroll.

"Ah, I surmised some might have noticed. I hope so, I could use another ally here, especially a fellow mage." Samira said shrugging, hoping she could trust her.

"That is a sentiment I share, especially due to recent events." Morrigan's voice continued to carry a refined touch to it, though Samira knew the mage was not like the rest of the Orlesian court.

"I dispatched an agent of Tevinter in these very halls. I offer you a token of goodwill by giving you this key I found on the Tevinter's body, since I cannot leave Celene's side because of the danger she faces tonight." Morrigan held out her hand and gave Samira the key, letting her examine it.

"I know where this leads to...the servants quarters. It's a pity you can't come along and wreak havoc on the Vints with me. With the Venatori's link to Corypheus, I'm not surprised they're sneaking around." She grimly said to the older mage, thinking she should gather her friends to investigate.

"If something happened to Celene, being a mage I would be the first to be implicated of course. I will not fall prey to the sharks in the water. Not now, not ever. Proceed with caution, Inquisitor. We female mages should stick together, after all." Morrigan gestured back to the ballroom entrance, bidding Samira farewell for the time being so she could check on the new lead.

Before she started off again, Samira decided to catch her breath and find Blackwall, wherever he dwelt for the evening. She found him near the trophy room, his back to her looking at a statue in thought, his arms crossed.

"Sooo…" Samira casually stood next to him as he continued to gaze at the golden lion.

"Hmm?"

"Back there at the announcement...silverite Wings of Valor? I'm curious, what did you get that for?" Samira leaned against him, letting her head sit on his shoulder.

"For...valor." He cryptically replied, making Samira chuckle at it.

"Care to elaborate?" She prodded at him, noticing he was unusually modest about a simple question into his past.

"It was a long time ago. Back when we didn't stop to boast about past victories when there was an assassin on the loose." Samira was slightly taken aback by his resistance, it wasn't exactly what she was used to with him even though he had been scant on details on his past before.

 _Usually I'm the one who holds back and doesn't delve into the past._

"Fair enough, I suppose. When this is all over, make sure you save at least one dance for me. I want to see your moves!" Samira shifted her gaze upwards at him and smiled.

"All of them, my lady." He looked down and turned to face her, bringing his lips to hers softly for a moment before Samira remembered they had to get back to work.

"Let's go. Got work to do in the royal wing now." She let him escort her up the stairs arm and arm as they sought out Vivienne.

"Madame Vivienne, I think I'm going to have to take off this skirt for our little excursion, things might get a little messy." Samira said when she found the enchanter speaking with Leliana.

"Ah, but of course, my dear. We'll just have to tuck it away somewhere safe along the way!" Samira nodded in agreement to Vivienne and then they were off to fetch Cassandra.

"Tell me you're not just wearing your knickers under that skirt!" Blackwall admonished as the group walked down a secluded hall, heading for the royal wing.

"Heavens no, silly! Watch." Samira unhooked the clasp that held her skirt together at her hip and swiftly took it off, revealing slim black trousers that hugged her legs.

"I only hope you don't tear that lace...my personal tailor didn't exactly put the thought of you fighting when she made it to hug that delicate frame of yours." Vivienne said with her usual condescending tone of ambivalence as she retrieved their staffs from a waiting Inquisition soldier.

"I wouldn't dream of doing that, this corset and lace sleeves are absolutely to die for, madame. I'll just have to not be my usual...flexible self." Samira cast a devilish wink at Blackwall, knowing the desired effect would be a blush from the warden.

"You two, I will never understand your love of fashion." Cassandra chidingly said as they slinked into the royal wing when the guards had been distracted.

 _Cassandra, you completely missed that. I'm guessing no one knows about what's been going on between Blackwall and I._

The thought brought Iron Bull to mind immediately. Samira knew she was in deeper than she probably could manage between having a tryst with two very different men, and that would have to be addressed sooner, rather than later. All she knew was she dreaded it and was completely lost on what to do. Samira pushed it out of mind to focus back on their mission and was glad for the distraction.

The royal apartments were exactly what Samira pictured them to be: grand and luxurious, but she had no time to look at the lovely paintings on the walls or the beautiful golden statues lining the area. The first place they looked was Celene's quarters, where they amusingly found an indisposed soldier tied up to her bed. After learning that Celene had known all along about Gaspard's true intent, Samira grew tired of questioning the naked man who had betrayed the duke.

"I have a feeling Dorian and Sera would have loved to see this, but I've little patience for this nonsense right now. Enjoy the rest of the party, good ser!" She turned to leave him to his fate.

"I almost feel bad for him." Blackwall commented, at least giving him the decency to cover up his exposed parts.

"Wait, no! Let me out of here, you sadistic bitch!" The Orlesians pleading quickly turned to anger.

"Hah! This is just too priceless." They shook their heads as they left the room and laughed but were driven back to reality when they heard terrified screams coming from a nearby room.

"Over there!" They rushed forward, Samira stepping aside to let Blackwall kick the door open when it was locked. Before them was a young female elf scurrying away on the floor in distress from an attack from some sort of harlequin assassin. Samira took the initiative rushing forward to knock the assassin out the open window before she could do any real harm.

"Thank you." The lithe elf said, relief softening her voice as Samira kneeled down to check on her.

"Sorry to cut in, was I interrupting something?" Samira was sarcastic with a smile to put the young woman at ease before the elf unravelled her story that gave some rather revealing insight into the relationship between Celene and Briala.

"Go to the ballroom and find Commander Cullen, he'll keep you safe." Samira was unsure if she would need the elf later, so she decided to keep her safe from harm's reach for the time being until she decided if her information would be needed.

"Maker protect you, Inquisitor!" The elf hurried off, leaving the group to contemplate over what they had found.

"It appears all parties in this matter have skeletons in their closets, but we still don't know who's actually behind the assassination attempt tonight." Cassandra said, blowing out a sigh.

"Seeker, don't be so narrow sighted. All of this information can help us." Vivienne said, having a better grasp of how to use the information.

"Vivienne's right, it's all useful in how the negotiations for the throne could turn out." Samira was unsure how she felt about it, possibly having the fate of the Orlesian empire hinging on her choices tonight.

 _And how I use that intel, is completely in my hands._

"I suppose you're right, this is more of Leliana's thing. Being neck deep in Orlesian plots for power is more than I'm comfortable dealing with." Cassandra mused as they moved down a small corridor that led to a desolate renovated hall.

"Blackwall, you're unusually quiet. What's your thoughts on who should be in power at the end of tonight?" Samira stopped and leaned up against a wall, a hint of soreness pulled at her feet from the flat slippers she was wearing.

"I'd support Celene. In the years she's come into power, she's been the perfect mix of strength, cunning, and grace that Orlais needs. Gaspard? You may as well crown a bull if he wins." He huffed at the thought of the man with no social tact becoming emperor. Samira was going to reply, but then she found a very familiar crackling sound not far away.

"That's not good." They strode forward and heard a more distinct voice yelling out from closed doors.

"You painted Orlesian assholes! When I get out of this, I'll butcher you like the pigs you are!" Samira could tell the man was Ferelden from the accent as she perked her ears up and eavesdropped before they decided to crash the party.

"Oh, I like him, whoever he is." Samira muttered, liking his attitude towards uppity Orlesian's no doubt.

Making their entrance, the Inquisition was immediately surrounded by several archers. Samira's instincts were correct from the sound she had heard, there was a rift in the middle of the small courtyard they found themselves in. On a nearby balcony, they finally found their culprit.

"Inquisitor! What a pleasure! I wasn't certain you'd attend." Florianne spoke as if they were just having a pleasant conversation, agitating Samira. She held her marked hand behind her back, not wanting to reveal its power to her yet.

 _I knew something wasn't right about her!_

"I had a feeling you were mixed up in all this, Florianne." Samira's voice cut to the chase, she had no patience for Orlesian manners any more.

"Such a pity. You could almost be Orlesian. If you were just a little quicker." Vivienne snorted at the cockiness Florianne exuded with the wave of her hands curled up much like how Celene did.

"You could almost be pretty if you didn't have such a hideous haircut, but that doesn't stop you from being the biggest cunt in Orlais." Samira smiled devilishly, patting herself on the back now that she didn't have to play a game with the woman any more.

"Say what you want, but you've walked into my trap. I was getting tired of your meddling. Corypheus insisted that the Empress die tonight, and I would hate to disappoint him."

"I'm not even going to bother asking why you would side with that vile creature, but he'll have to get used to disappointment." Samira knew it had to be along the lines of power, every villain cliche in the book pointed to that.

"But not today, I think!"

"We'll see about that." Samira brought her right hand to grip her dagger, ready for the fight to begin.

"No one imagines it would be me to assassinate Celene. All I need is to keep you out of my way long enough to strike. Pity you'll be missing the ball, they'll be talking about it for years. Kill her, and bring me the marked hand as proof." Florianne instructed the archers as the rift opened.

Samira barrel rolled forward to avoid three arrows aimed for her heart and brought her hand forward to unleash its power on the rift, while Blackwall and Cassandra rushed forward to meet their enemy. While Samira conjured a fortified barrier on herself as protection to focus on the rift, Vivienne stayed in the rear as the groups ranged attack to keep the archer's busy. Blackwall and Cassandra brought their axe and longsword with cohesive force as the offensive against the demons until Samira could bring the rift temporarily down.

Once that was done, Samira joined their fight in finishing off the stunned demons and then turned to the archer's who were being stubborn going down. She fought at Cassandra's backside, weaving her staff from side to side, sending balls of energy to wear their armor down before Blackwall swooped in and cut them down. Just as the last archer's succumbed, the rift opened back up and more demons poured out, this time a couple of rage demon's upping the ante.

"I hate rage demons!" Samira panted, focusing on keeping her party sheathed in a barrier to protect them from their fiery swipes.

"My dear, no one does!" Vivienne called out as she brought her knight-enchanter skills to the battle, the spirit blade doing much damage to a despair demon.

"That's it, I don't have time for this crap!" Samira raised her left hand up in the air, conjuring her special fade ability she had been cultivating since she discovered the power after the destruction of Haven.

A huge ring of green power encircled the ground around the demons, drawing from the rift to largely incapacitate them; this gave Blackwall and Cassandra the opportunity to cover Samira as she worked on taking the rift down for good. Once the battle was over, Samira bent over to catch her breath and noticed a small scorch mark on her sleeve.

"Damn it! They got me!" Samira lamented, to which Cassandra replied in alarm.

"You're hurt?!"

"No, they got the fabric!" Cassandra was relieved at the answer but couldn't help but roll her eyes at the Inquisitor who lightly chuckled.

"We should get back to Cullen and Leliana." Blackwall said after checking that Samira was alright and they dealt with the released Ferelden mercenary they saved.

"Like yesterday. With any luck, we can intercept Florianne before she can kill Celene. Let's go!" They rushed back double time to a surprised Cullen.

"Thank the Maker you're back! The Empress will begin her speech soon. What should we do?"

"The Grand Duchess is the assassin. Don't let her anywhere near Celene." Samira instructed the commander with urgency in her voice.

"The Duchess? At once, Inquisitor!" Cullen quietly rushed to make the order known to the Inquisition soldiers, giving Samira just enough time to collect her thoughts.

 _This is it, I'm going save someone's life tonight. Or else._

As Celene spoke, Samira strode with a brisk pace making her way past the nobles, quickening even more when she saw Celene beckon her cousin forward.

"Grand Duchess, stand down!" Samira yelled out, grabbing her dagger and running forward as Florianne quickly dispatched several Inquisition soldiers trying to arrest her.

"Now!" Florianne commanded her harlequin rogues who seemed to appear out of thin air, taking the Inquisition soldiers by surprise all around the room.

 _Damn it, I've got to stop her!_

"For Corypheus, kill them all!" By then Celene had retreated to safety, but the threat was still very much real.

"Cullen, protect the people!" Samira yelled to Cullen without a second thought as she reached where the Empress at held her speech, following Florianne to the veranda.

"Yes, Inquisitor!" She had no time to look back, but she knew her friends were close behind her, ready for battle once again. As Samira hopped off the balcony to the ground, Florianne had transformed in fit of dark smoke from her hideous dress to assassin's clothes, a bow already drawn at them.

"Beaten at every turn. You've taken the moment of my victory and left me in disgrace. And now you've chased a defenseless woman into the garden. Are you proud of yourself?"

"Hah! You were about to commit regicide, we both know you're not defenseless. Although I am a little surprised you seem so well trained at cloak and dagger tactics." Samira rested her hands on her daggers, wanting to challenge her and go toe to toe with another rogue.

"True. You never were one to fall for my helpless-damsel act." Florianne shot an arrow at the Inquisitor, but luckily Samira's reflexes were a match for the Duchesses itchy finger. Florianne disappeared and then reappeared on the nearby fountain.

"The night is still young. All I need to recover is to kill you, so let's make this fun. Just you and me." Before Samira could reply, the gates unexpectedly closed in front of her friends, leaving Samira no choice but to fight her on her own.

"Dirty fighter, I like that. Your funeral." Samira smiled, letting her darkness take over her to find some way to defeat the trickster.

"Samira, you don't have to do this!" Blackwall called out, shaking the gate in a failed attempt to help her.

"Eh, it's no biggie. This bitch needs a good slap around." Samira rolled her neck around and cracked her knuckles, thinking of her training with Iron Bull.

 _Oh, if I survive this, he's getting a big kiss and hug from me._

"Bow and arrow against your daggers, yes this should be a fine contest!" Florianne cackled as she loosed some arrows at the herald, to which she replied by throwing a couple of throwing daggers right back at her.

Samira rushed forward, Florianne met her by leaping off of the fountain, using her sturdy bow as a shield against the daggers. Samira waved her daggers back and forth in a flurry as Florianne countered in a deadly dance, neither woman giving an inch of submission.

"You are good, but not a natural at this. I've been training my whole life!" Florianne found a weak spot in Samira's attack and hit her square in the face with her bow, knocking Samira backwards.

Before she could send an arrow into the Inquisitor's heart, Samira rolled out of the way and desperately grabbed for her staff on the ground. The blow to her face had hurt, but she used the pain just like Bull had taught her, the rage now boiling up inside her. Just as another arrow came flying at her, Samira managed to form a barrier to deflect it long enough for her to get back up again.

"Ugh!" Florianne threw her bow to the side, knowing it wasn't any good as long as Samira had a barrier, something she couldn't combat with a mage.

"I'm gonna kick your ass! Come on!" Samira beckoned the woman forward, taunting the woman to fight her hand to hand. She was taking a chance given she didn't know how well Florianne was fist fighting, but Samira was confident enough in herself that she could pull it off.

"Now we'll see whose funeral it is." Florianne swiftly cart wheeled and landed a backflip as Samira dodged out of the way and brought her fists up.

 _This is where the elven in me comes out! Thank you Keeper Hawen!_

Samira threw her fist forward in a quick jab, first focusing on punching Florianne's arms to weaken her and then she worked on her face. Florianne took the first couple of hits to the arms, but regained composure as Samira's fist came flying at her face, moving hers inches away just in time. They traded barbs back and forth as Blackwall and Cassandra rooted for her in the distance, but Samira just drown the voices out since she had to keep all of her attention on her foe.

"You're beginning to tire, I can tell Inquisitor!" Florianne taunted, but Samira would have nothing of it as she worked to keep her breathing even. Florianne hit her twice in the face this time, thinking she had an advantage, she took an arrogant swipe again but this time Samira caught it.

Samira grabbed her elbow and locked it up before she used her own to jab Florianne in the gut and send her over her feet to the ground. Florianne was obviously winded, but kept a resilience that only infuriated the mage to uncontrollable anger. They began to tumble together on the ground, struggling in a roll for dominance. Samira would regain her position on top of the woman and hit her, but then Floriane would bring her knee up in between Samira's legs and kick her in her lady parts.

 _Maker, that hurts women too!_

Samira heard the gates finally open, but that was of no consequence to her. She turned the pain into more power that consumed her; Samira sent her fists flying down on Florianne's face with frightening fervor, almost to the point of killing the woman if Blackwall hadn't pulled her off of the traitor.

"Maker damn it, let me go!" Samira almost screamed panting, forgetting the pain her body was in.

 _All I see is red!_

"Samira, we've got her, right Cassandra?" Blackwall reassured the mage by showing Cassandra was already beginning to bind the unconscious Florianne.

"Shit...that got a little crazy. I'm okay!" She brushed off Blackwall's helping hand and got up, wincing at the pain in her side.

She walked a few paces away, catching her breath and calming herself down, her hands on her hips. Inquisition soldiers and palace guards flooded into the garden courtyard and were already taking Florianne away. Samira caught her breath sitting on a bench, and commanded everyone to give her a few moments of reprieve alone.

"Samira, are you okay?" Blackwall kneeled in front of her.

"I don't wanna talk about it. I just need a minute!" Samira's tone bordered on harsh, but she couldn't help it. The darkness in her was fully alive now, awakened by primal rage she locked away when she was seventeen.

"Then we'll talk about it later, Inquisitor. But you should let them take a look at you." Blackwall's voice was full with concern, and although Samira had no patience at the moment, she allowed an Inquisition medic to look at her, at least for the sake of appearances.

 _I don't know why I'm bothering, I can heal myself at least a little bit to finish the night._

The medic looked her over quickly and took cotton to dab at the fresh cut that was now on her cheekbone.

"Alright, alright, that's enough soldier. I'll just wave my hand to make myself presentable." Samira gathered what little mana she had about her and used it to heal herself just enough.

 _I'm going to have some ridiculous bruising, that's for sure, but for now this will do._

"Inquisitor, you're sure you're alright to finish the peace talks? Celene just started to speak with Gaspard and Briala." Josephine nervously said, obviously knowing of what had happened with her.

"Dear Josephine, don't worry. I have a negotiation to get to." Samira smiled sweetly, pulling on a mask. When she joined the trio, they found them bickering with each other and Samira had had enough of the whole night.

"Enough! Every one of you is implicated in this mess. You all conspired to let this happen!" Samira chided them, no care in her voice now.

 _I am definitely too tired to give a shit how they react, I've got the evidence I need to point them in the right direction._

"That's a bold claim, Inquisitor. Are you prepared to defend it?" Celene said, her tone still not changing although the other two did not take it as well. Samira revealed everything she had learned of set ups and murder they all had been involved in.

"You've made your point. What do you want?" Celen asked, knowing she was outplayed.

 _I've got them all where I could do anything I wanted, but I'm not like them._

"You three are the best minds of Orlais. If you could work together, you could do a lot for Orlais."

"A noble sentiment, but rather optimistic that we would forget our differences, Inquisitor." Celene said, but Samira wasn't going to hear it.

"You'll make it work, I have faith you three don't want the alternative happening. I'm sure you could think of something to say to the crowd to appease them." Samira warmly smiled at them, knowing she had achieved her purpose.

 _Maybe I'm better at playing this 'Game' than I thought!_

Samira stood next to Celene and Gaspard with her hands clasped behind her back as they spoke. Briala stood off to the side.

"This evening proves what we can accomplish through cooperation." Samira cooly said, her voice booming as she added to the speech.

"We are already tracking these Tevinter agents. Soon they'll have no place to hide." Even Briala chimed in, although for just a small part.

"But that is tomorrow. Tonight, we celebrate our newfound fellowship. Let the festivities commence!" Celene finished off the speech to a rumpus cheer from the crowd, finally letting Samira relax and retreat back to the balcony.

Morrigan was already waiting for her, giving her news that she would be joining the Inquisition at the behest of the Empress as a liaison.

"When we get back to Skyhold, I'd love to talk more with you, but for now I'm rather exhausted. Welcome to the Inquisition, Morrigan."

"A gracious response, my lady. I shall meet you there." Morrigan dipped her head in appreciation and understanding before taking her leave. Samira looked out to the night sky and placed her hands on the stone before her in thought of the events that unfolded.

"There are at least a dozen young lords and ladies hoping for some time with the hero of the night." Came Blackwall's voice as he approached her.

"Yet, here you are. Alone. Care to share your thoughts?" He took his spot next to her and leaned on his arms as she did, his eyes bearing into hers.

 _Oh, Blackwall._

"It's been a long night, I'm tired...why do I suspect the events of this evening will only bring us more trouble later?" Samira knew the truce was an uneasy one, and knowing the Game, her blackmail could come back on her in some way.

"You're probably right. But we can save that worry for another day." Blackwall started to straighten up.

"Before we leave, may I have this dance, Lady Trevelyan?" He stepped backwards and offered his hand out to her, warming her heart then.

"I think I'd like that. I didn't know you danced." Samira took his hand and they began to move on the balcony in sync.

"I did once, in another life." Blackwall kept his eyes on her as they moved, and Samira chose not to question further, although a small voice in her head told her she should. As they moved and twirled around, the dance slowed down, letting Samira rest her head against Blackwall's shoulder.

"I suspect you're reading for bed." He chuckled into her hair and kissed the top of her head.

"Yes, very much so." She murmured breathy into his chest, feeling her eyes heavy with weight. They climbed down the balcony to avoid any more entanglements with the nobility and took a shortcut to Samira's suite right off the garden area.

Slipping under the covers, Samira peeled her clothes off, only leaving her undergarments left and patiently waited for Blackwall. He shrugged out of the red formal attire quickly, obviously glad to be out of it and wound his arms around her.

"Good night, darling." Samira sleepily said, yawning.

"Good night, my little raven." He whispered into her ear, bringing his hand protectively over her head to cradle her. Samira was glad when the fade finally took her.

 **A/N: Originally I was going to do a more straightforward group fight like in the game with Florianne, but fighting her one on one sounded way better and I wanted to show Samira could be a fighter when she needed to be! That, and it also served a purpose since she pretty much loses her shit at the end of it, hinting at some hidden anger she's got stored up within her. I've got some ideas for the next chapter, probably going to be an emotional fight of some sort, but I won't give anything else away now since at time of posting it hasn't been written yet :P thanks for reading! If anything particularly stood out for you in this chapter, give it a shoutout in a review if ya want. -Erulastiel**


	12. Break Me Down

**A/N: So this chapter I hit a bit of a brick wall with on the last third of it, but I eventually got through it and slammed it out ready to go! I'm going to try to update my twitter (EruFanFiction) more frequently, probably going to be talking about Dragon Age stuff here and there if I get around to it. If you play Inquisition on the PS4, add me! My username is LadySarella, I'm also a member of the Dragon Age: Inquisitors community on there as well.**

 **Chapter 12: Break Me Down**

The journey back to Skyhold was an arduous one for Samira since she decided to let her injuries from Halamshiral heal on their own. Vivienne had scoffed at the idea of it, but Samira remained stubborn to let her bruises and cuts heal.

 _I'm a big girl, I don't need magic to solve all of my problems._

"How's your eye?" Blackwall asked her as they trod the last treks through the Frostbacks on horse.

"It doesn't hurt as much. Still black and blue?" Samira asked because she hadn't looked at it since they left some time ago.

"If you're worried about your looks, you're just as beautiful as you always are, Samira." Blackwall reassured her, giving her a fond look.

"Uh-huh, says the flatterer. We're nearly home, thank heavens. I'm going to take a long, proper bath as soon as possible!" Samira relished the idea of it, but the rest of the day had other plans for them.

"Sweet Andraste, what happened to you!?" Varric exclaimed when they met at the gates of Skyhold.

"Got into a rather heated scrap with a Duchess...all in a night's work of course." Samira winked at him as she dismounted Raven and walked into the fortress.

"I'd hate to see what happened to her." Varric whistled at the thought of it.

"She's dead." Samira smiled and laughed at the dark humor, knowing Varric would appreciate it.

"Shit! What'd you do?" Varric asked as they walked to the stables.

"Turns out I do have fists of fury. Hit her so many times in the face she went into a coma and stopped breathing. Permanently." She wiggled her eyebrows, not in the least bit regretful for killing the traitor.

"Remind me not to ever make you mad!" Iron Bull's voice came from behind them. After Samira led Raven into her stall she turned around and held in a nervous sigh.

 _Uh-oh. Blackwall, Iron Bull, and myself in the same place at once. This is not a good idea!_

"Speaking of the devil, himself! I owe you my thanks!" Samira quickly hugged him, careful of how she went about it with Blackwall there.

"I take it she took my training to heart?" Bull regarded Blackwall.

"Oh, very much so. Every time she took a hit in the face, it was like she just...shrugged it off?" Blackwall summarized.

"That shit still hurt! I don't think I'll be taking your path of fighting as seriously as you do, Bull. But it was helpful, I have to admit." Just as Samira thought she might be out of the woods for the time being with her Iron Bull/Blackwall predicament, things took a sharp turn for the worse.

"That's my girl!" Bull roughly grabbed her waist to his, and Blackwall immediately went on the defensive.

"Unhand her!" Blackwall was suddenly within a foot of Iron Bull's face, facing him with a fury in his eyes.

"Whoa, there!" Varric tried to play the peacekeeper, although Samira knew he had to be confused about what exactly was going on.

"Hey, you two, cut it out!" Bull had dropped his hold of Samira, letting her regain her composure just enough to let her try to put her hands in between the two men.

"Samira's a grown ass woman, and she's never had a problem with me putting my hands on her before." Bull snorted cockily and Samira immediately felt herself redden.

"Iron Bull!" Samira huffed, upset with him.

 _Fuck, fuck, fuck!_

"Is that right, Samira? You let him manhandle you?" Blackwall looked at her with a hint of hurt in his eyes at the thought of her being with him, and also indignation.

"It's not like that, Blackwall!" Samira could feel her pulse was beating heavier than she liked, her anxiety starting to peak.

"So, you mean currently or past?" Blackwall crossed his arms, obviously angry with her, but he kept it focused on the Qunari.

"Fuck, I don't know!" Samira threw her hands up in confusion.

"As far as I know, Samira has been with me and is with me!" Iron Bull pulled her back to his side, not caring about her feelings on the manner.

"Damn it, Bull! You and I were never an official thing, so stop acting like it all of a sudden since someone else has taken an interest." Samira stood up for herself then by throwing his hand to his side, angry at his behavior. Varric just stood there lost with his mouth open, not quite knowing what to say.

"All I know is I actually want to be with Samira, and I would never treat her like a piece of meat like that! She deserves better treatment." Blackwall took a step forward and got in Bull's face with no hint of fear for the larger man.

"And if I find out you've ever hurt her...I swear, I will end you." Blackwall said the last words with a careful deliberation, not faltering even though the Qunari looked like he would cut him down at any second.

"Maker, will you two please stop fighting about me! We're starting to gather an audience!" Samira said exasperated when she noticed nearby soldiers had taken notice of the fight.

"Get back to work, all of you!" Varric took her cue and shooed away the onlookers, leaving just the three of them at a standstill.

"Bull, I care about you and you're amazing in all of your ways. And Blackwall, I...I care about you too. More than I would like to admit." Samira ran a hand through her hair, her anxiety had her breathing completely uneven to the point she felt like there was a brick on her chest.

"Shit, I can't do this." Samira rushed off, leaving the two men with looks of confusion and hurt on their faces. Samira did her best to keep her Inquisitor face on, but it began to falter quickly.

"Samira, wait!" Blackwall called after her, but she didn't look back. Her brisk walk was almost a run as she made her way through the great hall. The walk through felt like forever, and she knew he was on her tail, so when she reached the door to the tower of her suite, she broke into a run to get there.

 _Running away from it all..._

"I don't want to talk, Blackwall!" She cried out as he almost caught up to her when she reached the top.

"Samira, stop!" Yet he still went for her when they strode through her door.

"What? That you want to know why I fucked Iron Bull? Why I would put myself in that sort of situation?" Samira's emotions took hold of her as she turned around when he grasped her hand to him.

"You're scared." Blackwall said quietly this time, and it set her off.

"Do you want to know who I really am, Blackwall? Really?" Samira felt tears in her eyes, but she held them back stubbornly.

"I know who you are! I see you every day and fall a little bit more in love with you, Samira." Blackwall said, trying to reach for her but she couldn't let him.

"No, you don't! Don't say that!" Samira pushed at him, her voice breaking.

"You think you do, but you can't love me. No one could love the real me that I hide every single day! Loving me will get you killed, and that's why I don't let anyone in." Samira began to cry, the tears a flood she could no longer stop with the admission.

"What are you talking about?" Blackwall asked, his face as tortured as hers.

"I fell in love once...with a mage at my circle in the Free Marches. The templar in charge was new, he was a devout follower of Knight-Commander Meredith. He had...strict views." Samira quieted, her tears silently falling down her cheeks, but her body still acted like she was sobbing.

"What happened, Samira?"

"He found out and tortured him, made him recant his love for me and you know what they did to him? They still made him a tranquil! Because of me!" Samira sobbed more violently as the flood of emotion she had kept repressed for so many years was unlocked.

 _I pursued him, he was just a naive young mage and I knew better. I thought I was above reproach, but I got him a mage's death sentence…_

"It's my fault, I caused it to happen! Don't you see, I'm bad for you. You're too good for me." Samira cast her eyes down, not caring how ridiculous she must have looked crying as she sank to the floor. Blackwall immediately kneeled down to her and put his arms around her.

"Shhh. It's alright, Samira." He held her and caressed her hair, and all Samira could do was cry it all out of her.

 _I've avoided this for so long…_

"Look at me. You are a good woman, you really are. The best I've ever known. You've rose up from nothing and now you lead an Inquisition that believes in you. Stop blaming yourself for what evil men did." He turned her face up to look at him.

"You still want to be with me?" Samira was unsure, especially after what happened with Iron Bull.

 _Bull is a great friend and lover, but I don't think this would have ever happened with him, getting me to open up._

"I want you more than I've ever wanted anything in my entire life. When I saw Iron Bull put his hands on you...I was infuriated. I don't want anyone else to touch you like that." Blackwall looked at her with a heady look in his eyes. Samira gingerly touched his face, which he happily turned into.

"I want you too, Blackwall. I'm as scared as I've ever been, but no one has made me feel like you do. Iron Bull is nothing like you." Samira of old was surprised to hear herself say it, but Blackwall had grown on her immensely, was changing her and she didn't think being with Iron Bull any more was going to work.

"I knew something had been going on with you two, I just didn't want to admit it. I was hoping once we had that night together, that would be the end of it."

"It was, I haven't been with him since Haven. It never meant anything, anyways. You mean something, though." When their gazes met, Samira found herself needing him.

"Then that's settled then. You know, you're very sexy when you let yourself be vulnerable." He teased her.

"I'm sexy when I cry, you mean?" She chuckled.

"No, silly. You know what I mean." He pulled her to him and sat her on his lap, making her smile.

"I guess I can try and reserve this side of me for behind closed doors, but don't expect me to get soppy all the time!"

"As long as it's just for me." Blackwall tilted her chin up and lightly kissed her. Their kiss evolved into more as he enveloped her in his embrace, keeping her tight against him. She briefly broke it off to trace her fingers along his lips before kissing him again.

"Mmm. Bed, I think." Samira murmured into the kiss which did not need a reply.

They quickly discarded their clothes and lay naked together, enjoying the feel of their skin touching as they kissed. Samira clung to him as he gently entered her, her nails desperately clinging into the skin of his back as he moved in and out of her. Blackwall's lips never left her body; when they weren't kissing he was ravaging her neck as she writhed in pleasure beneath him.

"Blackwall, please…" She pleaded for release as his fingers played at her core like an instrument.

Samira found courage she didn't have before to look him in the eyes with complete emotional vulnerability, and she wondered what laid beneath those dark orbs as they stared intensely back at her. Blackwall picked up on this; he gently brought his hand to her face before kissing her with a desperation of love and it made Samira melt. Her feelings for him burned immensely within once she had let her walls fall, but Samira wasn't sure how to interpret them, so she just let the moment of joy take her. When they finally climaxed together, Blackwall lay on top of her catching his breath, his forehead lightly touching hers.

 _I never thought I would have this with anyone in my life, it almost feels unreal._

"Maker, you are amazing." Samira kissed his brow before letting him settle in next to her.

"Speak for yourself, my lady." Blackwall's broad arms scooped her up into an embrace, letting Samira settle cuddle up to his warm body.

"Whatever you say, Warden. I don't know about you, but I'm going to draw a bath." Samira grabbed a robe and covered up, but not without some protest from the man who still had a hungry gaze for her naked form.

"Don't you worry about that." She winked at him when she shrugged it off and slid into the warm bath once it was ready, revelling in the warm suds that surrounded her.

"Is there room for two, you think?" Blackwall mischievously asked her.

"I'm sure I can make do." Samira said with a wink, her voice a sultry invite. She moved forward in the bath to give him room to sit behind her.

"Maker's balls! How long has it been since we had a hot bath like this?" Blackwall chuckled at the thought as the warm water waded up to their chests.

"A proper bath? Couple of weeks, give or take. Now a bath like this? Probably never. This hits the spot!" Samira laid back on his chest, enjoying the feel of his arms around her as his hands rested on her belly.

"I'm more than happy to say no complaints from me." They relaxed in the bath for a while once they had washed up, and even found themselves drifting off to sleep while still in the water.

"Oh, shit...we're all pruny now." Samira grabbed a towel and slowly rose up, letting Blackwall a full view.

"Woman, are you trying to tease me? All you have to do is say the magic word and we're back to bed." Blackwall said amused.

"Oh, and what's that?" She asked handing him a towel and drying off herself before putting her robe back on.

"I think you know what to say." Blackwall strode over to her with confidence.

"Mhm. Well, I wish that were so right now, but we have a lot to do." Samira pecked him on the lips and proceeded to dress in her usual bustier and dark brown pants. Blackwall sighed contentedly before drying off and putting his clothes back on.

"Has it been two hours already?" Samira wondered as she looked at the sun through her window.

"Time always seems to go by faster when I'm with you, I know." They kissed one last time before departing the suite to attend to whatever Inquisition affairs Josephine and Leliana had planned for the day.

 _I should go talk to Bull. It's time I woman up and stop being a coward._

Samira found Iron Bull at his usual spot in the tavern, this time having a drink with Krem.

"Hey, Your Worship. Heard about what happened at Halamshiral. Nasty business, dealing with those Orlesians." Krem nodded to her and offered her a seat.

"Indeed it was! Actually, I was hoping to pull away your boss for a moment, if that's alright?" Krem nodded to her and Bull didn't seem to mind the awkward nervousness in Samira's voice as he followed her out the tavern and around a corner where they could have some privacy.

"What's going on, boss?" Iron Bull crossed his arms concerned, not seeming to have any hint of anger towards her for what happened earlier.

"Bull, I wanted to apologize for what happened earlier, and I wanted to explain." Samira ran a hand through her hair anxiously, hoping this would go well.

"Hey, it's no problem really. I'm fine with it." Bull put his hand on her shoulder to calm her, knowing his reassurance would help ease her stress.

"You aren't upset at all? I mean, I want you to know things just happened with Blackwall, and I…" She struggled to find the words, her chest ached in response.

"Well, yeah I am in a way. But I'm Qunari, remember? Attachment isn't the same for us. And I know how you feel about him, even if you won't admit it, who am I to stand in the middle of that?" Iron Bull gave her a smile.

"Oh, Bull." She smiled briefly at him, still feeling like she would always have a place for him in her heart.

"I'm going to miss this. You know...that ass, perfect tits, and winning personality is going to be really hard to find again!" Bull laughed and pulled her to him and gave her a sweet kiss that lingered. Samira let it happen, as it was like a lover's goodbye for the both of them. He traced a finger along her lips and sighed to himself.

"I am one of a kind, I must admit." Samira pulled him down by the horns and gave him a kiss on the cheek before hugging him. Her small frame compared to his became encircled by his massive arms and Samira knew then a part of her would miss him.

 _But a greater part of me wants only what Blackwall has now; I can't have both._

"I hear Varric and Dorian are trying to start up a game of Wicked Grace. Wanna join in?" Bull asked her almost innocently for his usual character.

"Definitely, I think we all could use some fun. And I so need to catch up with Dorian!" Samira walked back into the tavern with Bull and found Varric shuffling the cards.

"Look what the cat dragged in! Did you have fun at the ball without me? I heard tales of a cat fight that ended rather well for you." Dorian purred as she took a seat next to him, but not before giving him an overdue hug.

"It clearly wasn't the same without you, my love. Now, deal me in for whatever you guys are betting!" Samira put a coin purse down, but before the game could start, Blackwall walked in to Samira's surprise. She was worried at first with how things would smooth over with him and Bull, but the two men put her fear to rest when they exchanged a look regarding no doubt her and nodded.

"Well, then. Seems like we've got five players now. Anyone else want in? Some hefty coin being thrown around here!" Varric called out to the tavern, trying to rouse more competition .

"Wait for us, we're in!" Sera called from upstairs with Cole suddenly appearing next to the table.

"I like games. I don't understand them well though." Cole said absentmindedly as the pair drew up chairs.

"Sera, have you come finally seeking your vengeance against me?" Samira teased the elf, knowing it would only infuriate her to toss more coin on the game.

"Oh, you bet your knickers! Vengeance will be mine, Inky!" Sera laughed maniacally as she looked at her cards with hope.

"I'm Inky now?"

"Yeah, short for Inquisitor, or the tats around your eye, suppose. You don't want me changing it, so don't tease!" Sera stuck her tongue out before taking a swig of ale.

"Well, now I know how to refer to you when I write my next book!" Varric said as he finished dealing the cards out.

"Just make sure to include my dashing good looks and that's all I care about." Dorian said in his usual cocky tone that Samira adored about him.

"Why don't we make this interesting and play in teams? Varric, Sera, and Bull you join up, and it'll be Dorian, Blackwall, and myself against you? And whoever wins best two out of three gets a special gift on top of the coin purse!"

"Ey, what's this special gift gonna be?" Sera asked perking up.

"It would be a mystery gift from the Inquisitor herself, I guess you'll just have to win Sera, if you want to know what it's going to be…" Samira looked off slyly knowing it would rouse her attention.

"Ohhhh, so in! What do you say, boys?" Sera punched Varric and Iron Bull lightly on the arms excited.

"Hell, why not. I could use a good surprise." Varric said as he started to puff on a cigar, to which Bull agreed.

"This shall be interesting." Dorian mused as their group showed each other their hands away from their rivals.

"I like this game!" Cole said enthusiastically as he looked over everyone's cards since he wasn't really playing.

"Now, don't spoil the game, kid." Varric said as they took their turns.

"Well, boys. I sincerely hope we win with our hand. Or else my teammates are going to be really sad to miss their surprise I have planned for them." Was what Samira said after Varric had won the first round for his team.

"I just hope to not lose all the coin I bet on this game, but I have faith. I do like a good surprise gift, especially when it's from my favorite distant cousin." Dorian said just before he won the second round, a little too conveniently.

"You better not be cheating!" Sera protested drunkenly as she kept slamming down her alcohol.

"My dear, I don't know what you're talking about." Dorian laughed.

"Alright boys, it's do or die time." Samira smirked cockily as Varric reshuffled the cards for the last round.

"I want to see what this surprise is." Blackwall finished his drink and wiped the extra foam out from his beard but missed some.

"Come here." Samira laughed as she wiped what he missed and thought to herself how cute it must have seemed to the others.

 _Maker, I suddenly feel so domesticated. Never knew I would find myself saying that!_

"Thank you, my lady." Blackwall lovingly said to her, which made Sera mock gag to Samira's amusement.

"Alright, time to finish this! Sera, let's see if you've got what it takes to beat me finally."

"Oh, we'll see. Inquizzy-Inquisitor." Sera started to hiccup.

"We're gonna lose, aren't we?" Bull looked over to Varric, who just smiled and shrugged at Sera's absurdness.

"The tension is clearly killing me." Dorian said in a fake bored voice, twirling his mustache as he looked at his new hand.

"I've totally got this." Samira confidently said, but it was not her who won the round. When it looked like Samira was in a dead heat facing off against Iron Bull and Varric's very convincing bluffs, Blackwall came out of nowhere and won it all.

"Seriously?!" Sera cried out and slunk downwards in her seat, her bad luck streak with Wicked Grace still not shattered.

"I'm impressed with you Blackwall!" Samira said warmly, grasping his hand under the table as he smiled with his victory.

"That came out of nowhere!" Bull exclaimed before clinking his mug with the warden.

"Well done, Warden. You've been getting better!" Varric didn't seem to mind the loss, being a merchant prince.

"I've just been watching all of you these last few games, figuring out your tells. That, and I had luck on my side." Blackwall cast Samira a quick look, making her blush which was noticed by everyone at the table.

"Fingers trace down my side, shivers chilling the bone when I look at him. Safe and bright outside the gloom that lingers…" Cole blurted out, looking straight at Samira. She immediately reddenned as Varric chastised him.

 _Gloom that lingers?_

"Kid, I told you you can't just keep randomly doing that." Varric chuckled, not really caring. Before Samira could say anything, an Inquisition guard approached them.

"Ser, you wished for me to inform you when your guest arrived. She's waiting on the battlements." Varric suddenly stiffened and straightened up at the news as the soldier saluted and left.

"Is this your friend you told me about?" Samira forgot the blush and went back to Inquisition business straight away.

"Yeah, if you'll excuse me I have to see to this." Varric pushed his chair out and quickly hurried out the tavern before Samira could say anything else.

"I guess that's my cue then as well. Dorian, dear, I suppose you can take care of collecting winner's purse?"

"Already on it!" Dorian gathered up the coin that lay strewn out in the center of the table and began counting it. Sera groaned at another loss of coin and Bull just smiled.

"We'll win it back for you, somehow." Bull patted her shoulder and waved a goodbye to Samira.

"I'll see you back at the stables when I'm done?" Samira asked as Blackwall escorted her up the stair wall to the battlements of Skyhold. He looked out to the sky and noted the sun was at its peak before setting.

"I'll have a fire waiting, my lady." Blackwall kissed her on the top of the head and left her to meet the pair. A secluded area is where Samira found Varric hugging a woman with short black hair but her back was turned to her, so she couldn't see her face.

"Ah, Inquisitor! I think you'll want to meet my guest."

"You have my absolute curiosity, Varric." Samira said as the woman turned to face the herald and realization dawned on her.

"Inquisitor Trevelyan, this is Marian Hawke, Champion of Kirkwall!"

 **A/N: I would have to summarize this chapter as two things: First and foremost, Samira finally has had to come to terms with her past demon and for once let her walls down. After the events of Adamant (that's going to be the next couple of chapters I believe) I want to write some in Blackwall's perspective prior and during his Revelations quest, so I'm really excited about that upcoming chapter.**

 **The other main thing I wanted to show in this chapter was the severing tie of the love triangle aspect of this story. Gah! I love Iron Bull a lot but I can't help my fangirl love for Broody Blackwall lol Part of me is considering writing an Evelyn Trevelyan story with Cullen. After I played his romance through, I kinda felt guilty how I had Samira treat him early in the story lol so I sort of want to redeem myself because I think Cullen is amazing in his own ways too. Hell, I might even write a separate shorter story with my character Sariel who is solely in a romance with Iron Bull (she's his hot redhead he always wanted). Any who, thanks for reading and feedback is appreciated! -Erulastiel**


	13. A tale of the Champion & the Grey Warden

**Chapter 13: A tale of the Champion and the Grey Warden**

The woman that stood before Samira immediately caught her eye, for she thought she was staring at her twin with how they shared almost the same hairstyle, among other things. There were some differences though. Besides the blood mark tattoo displayed boldly across her face, Samira noted this woman had a more subtle look than herself. Her lips were a paler shade of pink compared to Samira's vibrant red and her eyes were blue, while the herald's were green.

"Looks like you keep similar company, Varric." Samira was the first one to speak up.

"Just my luck too! I figured Hawke might have some friendly advice about Corypheus. You and I did fight him, after all." Varric said with a hint of pride in his voice for the times he shared with his best friend. He left them alone by walking a few paces away with a green bottle of vintage in hand.

"You've already dropped half a mountain on the bastard. I'm sure anything I can tell you pales in comparison." Hawke turned and leaned her elbows on the wall, looking out to the mountains with a dry tone to her voice.

"Oh, I don't know, you did save a city from a horde of rampaging Qunari. I'm sure some credit is due." Samira crossed her arms, wondering what was going on in the champion's mind.

"I don't see how that really applies...unless there's a horde of rampaging Qunari around I don't know about?" Hawke then reassured Samira by replying with the wit that Varric had said was her signature characteristic.

"There's a Qunari. He almost qualifies as a horde all by himself. Fortunately, he's on our side." Samira smiled at the thought of Bull rampaging, swinging his axe.

"So, then, what can I tell you?" Hawke straightened and turned to face Samira, finally really looking her in the eye.

"What happened with Corypheus before?"

"The Grey Wardens were holding him, and he somehow used his connection to the darkspawn to influence them."

"Corypheus messed with their minds. Turned them against each other." Varric chimed in.

"If the wardens have disappeared, they could have fallen under his control again." Hawke sighed wearily at the thought of it, but Samira sensed there was more worry than she was letting on.

"Hypothetically speaking, could we reverse it if that were the case?" Samira hoped Blackwall wouldn't fall prey to that control.

"It's possible. But we need to know more first. I've got a friend in the Grey Wardens. He's been investigating something unrelated for me. You may have heard of him, but I'll refrain from speaking his name for the time being. He's a bit touchy about it being thrown around."

"Okayyy then! What was it?"

"The last time we spoke, he was worried about corruption in the ranks. Since then, nothing." Samira didn't like the sound of that.

 _Sounds rather ominous._

"Corypheus would certainly qualify as corruption in the ranks. Did your friend disappear with them?" Varric asked.

"Thankfully, no. He said he would be hiding out in an old smugglers cave in Crestwood."

"This is bad for the warden's, the Inquisition can use any help we can get to fix this situation. I appreciate your help, Hawke." Samira held out her hand for Hawke to shake.

"I'm doing this as much for myself as for you. Corypheus is my responsibility, I thought I had killed him before. This time, I'll make sure he goes down for good. Now Varric, I suppose you're up for a drink with an old friend?" Hawke smiled for the first time since Samira had met her.

"Of course! I'm actually curious to see which one of you can drink me under the table faster. Samira can hold her own when she wants to." Varric teased Samira, an obvious reference to times where she let loose a little too much.

"Is that right? I'd like to see that!" Hawke laughed and the trio headed down to the Herald's Rest.

When the dwarf once again lit up a cigar upon arriving, Hawke arched her eyebrow and asked, "Varric, what is that foul thing in your mouth?"

"Varric has picked up a rather nasty habit since joining the Inquisition, but I promise you it's not from any influence of mine!" Samira commented as she served them their drinks and sat down.

"Hey, now! What I do in this tavern stays in this tavern." He protested in denial of his fully fledged bad habit.

"Uh-huh." Samira chuckled and clinked her mug to the pair.

Some time went by and with it lay eight empty mugs, and true to Varric's boast of the Inquisitor, Varric was done drinking for the day while the two women remained. Bull dragged him away thankfully, so the women didn't have to worry about hauling him up to his quarters, even though they were strong for their size.

"I think Varric's losing his touch. Or maybe just getting older. Ugh." Marian shuddered at the idea.

"You would know, you've known him for a long time I suppose." Samira kicked her legs up on the now empty seat and settled in, feeling at home speaking with Hawke now that she was loosened up.

"I guess you knowing that comes with the territory of letting Varric tell my story in a book. Everyone's read that damn thing."

"Ah, yes. I liked it, although you seem a bit more tame now that I've finally met you in person." Samira mused, remembering how Varric had put her to paper.

"Varric was always the one for embellishment!" And to that they clinked their mugs and took another drink.

"I heard you had family and friends in Kirkwall. Where are they now, if you don't mind me asking?"

"My little sister is a Grey Warden. I had my friend Aveline take her as far from Orlais as possible. When the wardens started acting strangely I had to keep my sister safe."

"Is there no one else?" Samira hoped she wasn't prodding too far, but she felt like she would never get another chance to ask someone she actually looked up to these questions.

 _When I heard of her exploits during my time with the Dalish, it made me wonder things. Wonder what I could do in this world if given the chance. And now I have that._

"Besides Varric who is the closest thing to family I have left, there is...well there's Fenris. He would have killed himself to protect me. I didn't want to give him that chance, so I sent him a letter after I left so he couldn't argue it." Hawke's voice softened when she spoke of him, and Samira couldn't help but feel sorry for the woman who clearly missed her lover.

 _Blackwall is always here, by my side. Imagining him away for long periods of time just feels, off._

"Is it true?" Samira knew she was probably crossing the line now.

"Is what true?"

"He executed your friend, the mage that blew up the Chantry."

"Ah, Anders. Should have known that question would pop up eventually." Marian looked into her mug with sadness lingering in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, it was rude of me to ask. I'm not usually this intrusive. I just...everything that happened with you changed things. Changed my life, really."

"It's alright. Whether I talk about it openly or not I still think about it, so it's not like it's going away. Anders was special to me, but he was very complicated. We were both a complicated mess. Fenris and Anders never got along. When we caught him after the Chantry attack, Fenris was the first one there. Few words were exchanged before Fenris did the deed." Samira could tell Hawke was still heartbroken over it, but was doing her best to keep her facade up.

"I'm so sorry about your loss. Did you get to say goodbye?" Samira was on the edge of her seat, absorbed by the story.

"Anders and I said our true goodbyes long before that. People will never understand who he really was, I was lucky to have known him...as tortured a soul he was." Hawke took a big gulp of her drink to wash away the memories.

"Are you okay with Fenris now? It must have been hard to see your love do that to someone you cared about I'd imagine." Samira thought of Blackwall and Iron Bull if they were in a situation like that; she shuddered at the thought of losing either of them to the other.

"He was doing what had to be done, and I knew it. He just did it so I didn't have that burden to bear. Part of me was grateful, but it still hurt nonetheless. It hasn't changed my feelings about Fenris though, as long as our history has been I could never leave him...until now." Hawke sighed, Samira decided to change the subject.

"So...I've been dying to know. Are elves any different in the sack from humans?" Hawke practically spit out her drink when Samira asked, making the mage laugh.

"Oh, Maker! Now that was an unexpected one. Well, I…" Hawke ran a hand through her disheveled hair, her cheeks aflame.

"Ha! Just kidding. I slept with an elf once, so I'll spare you the embarrassment. That look was well worth it though." Samira winked at Hawke, which earned her a smile.

"I think we could be excellent friends, Inquisitor." Hawke raised her mug in approval.

"Oh, you have no idea what trouble we could get into if we put our minds to it. By the way, love that red and black armor…" Samira was grateful to have a female friend to relate to as they shared tales of their adventures until dinner was ready.

"Will you be staying the night before heading out to Crestwood?" Samira asked as they left the tavern.

"As tempting as that is, I'm afraid not. My friend is still waiting for me, and with the Grey Wardens on his tail, I'd rather get to him first before they do." Hawke crossed her arms and furrowed her brow in worry.

"I understand, if you want I can send an Inquisition guard with you. I'll be heading out tomorrow once my party is ready." Samira thought it was the least she could do to help her new ally.

"If you think the Champion of Kirkwall needs an entourage, you are sorely mistaken my dear. But it's appreciated." Hawke laughed, and headed off to the stables to find her horse.

 _That one is a loner._

"Are we to be going to Crestwood?" Blackwall asked when they went back up to her room.

"Yes, Hawke thinks this friend of hers can be of help uncovering this demon army plot." Samira sat down on the bed taking her boots off for the day.

"Whatever's going on within the order, I want to be there." He said as he kneeled before her and placed his head on her lap. Samira ran her hands through his thick hair and worried for the man she cared for.

"I don't have to worry about you getting mixed up with all this suspicious Grey Warden stuff happening with Corypheus, do I?" She asked as he turned his head up to look at her. His blue-gray eyes seemed clouded with trouble, Samira had a hard time determining what lay beyond them.

"I wouldn't let that happen, you'd kill me." Blackwall took her hand and placed a kiss on her knuckles.

"Me? Kill you? You must have me mistaken for someone else. Who would rub my feet then?" Samira pulled him up to capture his lips in a kiss which he gladly reciprocated.

"Mmm, I might feel obliged to do that sometime, but for now I have other ideas of what I could do for you, my lady." His fingers wound through her short locks as he pulled her into his embrace.

"Are you teasing me, Warden?" Samira laughed to herself in between his kisses and suddenly remembered she owed him a gift since they won their last game of Wicked Grace.

"Oh, I could never tease you."

"Such a shame, I like being teased. I guess I'll have to be the one doing the teasing. I owe you for your win earlier." She arched an eyebrow at him, piquing his interest.

"I almost forgot about that. So, what's this gift I'm getting?"

"Oh, you'll see." She pushed him back on the bed and began to undo his pants to his surprise.

"You have me at an disadvantage, my lady." Blackwall murmured with his head back as Samira went to work.

His erection easily sprung forward to Samira's delight; she wrapped her fingers around it bringing Blackwall's attention immediately back up to her. Her delicate fingers almost wrapped around all of it, the size obviously being bigger than what Samira was used to but she loved it.

"I definitely do. You just lie there." Samira pushed a finger to his mouth when he made a move to bend towards her, stopping him.

Slowly stroking it at first, Samira toyed with Blackwall as she brought the tip of her tongue to play along the tip of his shaft, earning several moans of approval.

"You are a devil, woman!" Blackwall chuckled in pleasure as she worked her tongue along his head and stroked him at the same time; a perfect mixture of just the right amount of pleasure and teasing. When her mouth started to bob up and down over the whole thing, Samira smiled to herself as Blackwall began to burn with carnal desire to have more of her.

"Maker's breath, woman, I need you." Blackwall strained in her mouth, his hands becoming entangled in her hair now.

"Mhm, I bet you do!" Samira broke off, a smile on her face that read of teasing mischief.

"Get up here." Blackwall pulled her up and began to untie the laces of the corset in a crude manner. Samira was pulling the strings of her pants loose as he freed her breasts from the corset and cotton top, as that was all she had to do before he took over her.

"Mmmm, what are you going to do with me now?" Samira bit her lip, wondering what he had up his sleeve as she stood in between his legs. She studied him for a moment, he still sat at the edge of the bed, drinking in her figure with a hunger that exceeded other times they had been together.

"I don't think you want me to tell you what I'm thinking, Samira. It's very dirty." Blackwall gritted his teeth, taking a breath holding back.

"Oh, I do. Spare no details." Samira whispered in his ear.

"Part your legs. I want to feel your cunt." He said definitely surprising Samira.

 _I think my dirty mouth is starting to influence him, would the wardens approve if they knew he was being this naughty instead of killing darkspawn?_

Blackwall leaned into her body then, he placed his hands over her stomach and felt her hips, enjoying the curve before his fingers reached their destination. Samira laid her arms over his shoulders to brace herself as two fingers began to play at her, immediately sparking sensations that made her legs want to buckle. His lips placed kisses all along her belly as he played her like an instrument, not relenting even as Samira began to beg for release.

"Blackwall!" She cried out as she teetered on the precipice of bliss. When she finally came, she cradled his face between her hands and kissed him, their lips hungry for one another.

"I want you on top of me, Samira." His want was quickly approved of. He scooted back some as she climbed on top of the bed and began to straddle him.

Blackwall grasped his manhood ready for her as she angled down on it slowly. She was already wet, but her walls were tightened up which only gave more pleasure to Blackwall. Samira controlled the pace as she slowly moved around on him, not taking long this time to get used to his girth.

"Damn you, Samira." Blackwall said panting as she teased him with her hips.

"You know you love it!" Samira smiled, her head in a daze as the world was blocked out from all distraction when it was just the two of them.

"Oh, I do. I do." His lips placed feverish kisses along her neck down to her breasts as Samira arched her back slightly away from him. His fingers reached her apex again, beckoning her to even more pleasure as she rode him back and forth with wanton abandon.

"Come for me, Samira. I want to feel you come all around me." Blackwall gasped out in between his own pleasure she gave him. His fingers flicked against the nerves between her legs more furiously now, and this time Samira could not deny her orgasm any longer. She moaned out louder as her very being shook, and then she could feel Blackwall reach his own.

They remained still for several moments catching their breath before either of them spoke.

"I love you." It was Blackwall who broke the silence first, and it was not what she expected him to say.

 _I don't know what to say, I…_

Samira was at a loss for words, she still felt it hard to let herself actually love someone. Although she wasn't against it happening like she had been for so long before.

"You don't have to say it back, I know it's hard for you, Samira. I just couldn't hold it in any longer." His hand reached for her face.

"Oh, Blackwall." Samira wrapped her arms around his neck and held him tight, not wanting to let the moment go. She silently kicked herself for not saying it back, for not being able to let it in.

"You should get some rest for the day's ride tomorrow." They pulled back from one another and kissed before slipping away to dress again.

"Will you be staying in the stables tonight?"

"Probably, I have some things I want to work on before we leave tomorrow. And Samira?" He was already back in form as he brought his trousers back up.

"Yes, dear?" Samira brought her robe around her shoulders before walking over to her balcony.

"It was a lovely gift." They smiled at each other before parting, leaving Samira to ponder things.

Days later upon arriving at Crestwood, things had calmed down since Samira's last visit helping the village seal the rift on the lake.

"I'm glad to see Crestwood no longer looks like an imitation of the Fallow Mire any longer." Samira remarked to Blackwall after they left the village and were on their way to meet up with Hawke.

"One Fallow Mire was enough for me. Let's look at that map Hawke gave you." Samira handed the map over to him.

"Looks like about a quarter of a mile this way." And just as promised, they found Hawke's campsite right outside of a hidden nook of a cave not far ahead.

"How long have you been waiting?" Samira asked as they sat down by the fire for a moment to warm up.

"Not long, a couple of days tops. At least the bad weather finally cleared up." Hawke shrugged.

"Ah, you heard about that. Well, we shouldn't delay this any longer, let's go have a chat with your friend."

"You two go ahead, I'm just finishing packing camp up. I'll be right behind you."

When they reached the end of the cave, they found it empty, or at least it appeared to be, until Samira heard a sword unsheath behind her. Her senses pricked up as she turned her head and found the warden they were looking for. Fully clad in Grey Warden armor, he appeared to be a few short years older than Samira, with beautiful blonde hair and a chiseled hardened look that was probably more boyish in years past.

"It's just us! I brought the Inquisitor." Hawke was already caught up to them by then, and Samira was grateful.

"Wait, you have a Grey Warden with you?" The warden picked up on Blackwall's signature armor in acknowledgment.

"Warden Blackwall." Blackwall nodded.

"You're Blackwall? Uh, Duncan, my mentor spoke of you."

"Duncan? Of course. Good man." As ever, Blackwall spoke briefly of anything warden related, which always confounded Samira.

"I'm Alistair, it's an honor to meet you. I wish it were some place nicer."

" _The_ Alistair? Who fought the Archdemon with the Hero of Fereldan?" Samira was amazed to be meeting him, she had heard stories but never thought she would ever meet the man.

 _Meet Grey Warden Alistair: Check!_

"I need to change my name! Yes, that was me...war, betrayal, darkspawn, all lots of fun! And made for excellent stories, I'm sure. Nobody cares about that anymore, I answer to Warden-Commander Clarel now, like everyone else." Samira definitely took a likening to the man, although he seemed hardened compared to the tales she had heard of his character, she saw hints of his charm shine on the surface.

 _I wonder if I'm going to become like Hawke and Alistair one day...after everything they've been through, I'm sure they've changed so much from how they used to be. They have a sadness about them, more so Hawke than Alistair, but still. I suppose I can worry about that after I defeat Corypheus._

"Well, Alistair, I'm honored to call upon you as an ally during these times. Anything you can tell the Inquisition to stop Corypheus would be much appreciated."

"When Hawke killed Corypheus, the wardens thought the matter resolved, but Archdemons don't die from simple injury." He turned from them and walked over to a nearby table before continuing, "I feared Corypheus might have the same power, so I started to investigate. I found hints, but no proof. And then, not long after every warden in Orlais began to hear the calling."

"Maker! Why didn't you tell me?" Hawke hadn't been told yet obviously.

"It was a secret, a very dangerous one. I do try to keep a few of my oaths to the Grey Wardens."

"I suppose I can understand the secrecy, but can you tell me more about this 'Calling'?" Samira was curious about it

"We're connected to the darkspawn, but eventually that connection poisons you. You get nightmares, and then you start to hear the music. It calls to you, quiet at first, and then so loud you can't bear it." Alistair shook his head at the idea, and Samira immediately felt worry settle into a knot in her stomach.

"At that point, you say farewell and go into the Deep Roads to die fighting. _'In death, sacrifice'._ "

"Blackwall, have you been hearing it?" Samira kept her voice even, she refused to show the emotion she felt within herself. The look in her eyes was all she needed to show to Blackwall for him to understand her underlying concern.

"I do not fear the Calling, I know what Corypheus is." Although Blackwall reassured her, she still felt like he was putting on a show for her.

 _If this is happening to all of them, he must not have wanted me to know about it before._

Corypheus was somehow behind this fake Calling, and in their desperation, the wardens were playing right into the Magister's twisted hands. They were resorting to blood magic, a foul but powerful use of magic that Samira did not feel comfortable being around.

"They're gathering in the Western Approach, in an old Tevinter ritual tower. I plan on investigating once I leave here…I could use some help. We should get there ideally before it lives up to its name." They agreed on that much as they left the cave and found their horses.

"Alistair, we will send word ahead of us for some of our friends to meet us. I expect this should be a rather long trip?"

 _I've never been so far west in all of Thedas, this trip will take a few weeks if we're lucky._

"Yes, I hope you're ready for it. The faster we travel, the better. It will take some time for all of the needed wardens to gather I expect." Alistair sighed, something weighing heavy on his mind.

"Is there something else on your mind?"

"Oh, plenty of things. I'd rather not talk about it right now, though." Alistair played off whatever was troubling him, but Samira suspected it had something to do with the hero, since she wasn't at his side.

 _I won't bother him with rumors I've heard of their love affair...for now. I can be such a juicy gossip sometimes._

"Fair enough, another time. Surely we'll need things to talk about on the road!" They finished saddling up and quickly stopped into the village for provisions and to send off ravens to Skyhold before starting their journey to help save the wardens.

 **A/N:** **I purposely left details on my version of Hawke scant, because I'm writing a short companion piece for her that's written in first perspective, but that won't be posted until after the events of Adamant. -Erulastiel**


	14. Before the Abyss

**A/N: This is part one of my take on Adamant. Thanks to my guest reviewer on my last chapter!**

 **Chapter 14: Before the abyss**

 _Magister Erimond will die by my hand._

Samira was infuriated by what had unravelled at the tower when they arrived at the Western Approach.

"I can't believe the Wardens are resorting to blood magic…" Blackwall was the first to speak as they finished saddling up their horses.

"You say that as if you're some common civilian, Warden Blackwall. I would expect you to understand the Grey Wardens do everything in their power to stop Blights, even as misguided their actions may be now." Alistair chimed in, suspicious.

"Well, yes, but that doesn't excuse blood magic." Was his response, and of course Samira had to agree.

"All this shit is giving me a headache!" Varric complained as he rode next to Hawke. Varric was all too eager to leave Skyhold before Cassandra caught wind that the Champion of Kirkwall was around, and Samira couldn't blame him.

"Bandit camp ahead!" Samira squinted her eyes against the sun in the distance, the first to spy an enemy. The group quickly jumped off their horses and engaged, Alistair and Hawke taking the lead.

"I've got the ugly one!" Samira smirked at her opponent who was about to charge her. She brought forth a wall of fire with her hands and ushered it forward into her foe, catching him and in his panic he tumbled into a comrade.

"Nice trick!" Varric said as he aimed Bianca towards a foe trying to backstab Alistair.

"We'll need tricks like that, looks like this is their headquarters in this part of the desert!" Samira remarked as she looked at the enemies before her.

 _Got to be between ten to twenty here. This should be fun._

"Hawke, to me!" The two mages stood back to back, Samira cast a barrier around her friends while Hawke conjured lightning bolts to provide back up.

"Blood hell!" Alistair cried out when a bandit slashed at him and grazed his skin.

"Shit, are you alright?" Hawke called out to her friend, trying to keep focused on her spells.

"Oh, this is nothing. Just a little blood to keep me on my toes!" Alistair used his shield to bash the man and proceeded to slit his throat while Blackwall covered his back.

"Aww, shit! A little help over here?" Varric called out as three bandits encircled him. Samira reacted instinctively, rushing forward to his aid with her daggers already out.

"Now, I'd say this is a little bit more fair, don't you think boys?" Samira smirked cockily at them.

"A woman and a dwarf against us? HA! Pick their corpses clean!" The main one a hulking mass said, ordering the other two to charge her. Varric shot one, leaving the other to Samira. She stepped to the right at just the right moment and jumped behind him, plunging her daggers into his back before turning around.

"You were saying?" Just when Samira thought she had turned the fight in her favor, a lone bandit charged Varric, knocking him to the ground to leave her alone with the menacing leader. While Samira had two medium sized daggers, this man had two large swords that vastly overpowered hers, but she would not back down.

"I'll have fun with that pretty little body of yours, once I kill all your friends! Might even turn you over to the Venatori when I'm done with you." The man revealed a ghastly smile, making Samira's stomach churn for the worse.

"Come get me then!" She spit at the ground, ready for him, but he was smarter than to charge her like the other one did.

The two circled each other, Samira careful of her footing and trying to remember what the Dalish had taught her. She knew she was in deep trouble now, but all of her other companions were tied up and could not so easily come to her aid at the moment. Their steel clashed, Samira doing her best to rely on her mana to give her strength to keep the bandit leader at bay, but it only did so much.

They danced back and forth, trading barbs with each other but Samira knew she would falter eventually. He was not tiring as much as she was, although she was giving him a run for his money.

"I'm tired of playing games, time to end this!" He charged at her like a bull this time, the bandit brought his sword against her with great fury she could not deflect, slashing her side open.

"Ahh!" She screamed out, immediately clutching her side and falling back to the ground. The bandit stood over her now, ready to drive his sword down to finish her off.

"Samira!" Suddenly Blackwall was behind him, driving his sword through the man's heart with great fury.

"Samira…" Blackwall was by her side as she winced in pain and tried to hold the wound closed. A moment later, the rest of the bandits lay dead to her relief, but the pain was all too consuming to focus on it.

"Shit, that hurt! How bad is it?" She lifted her hand feebly, feeling most of her energy sapped. Hawke was by her side as well, surveying the damage.

"Could be worst, if he had cut any deeper I doubt we'd be having a conversation. It's going to need stitches, let me try to heal some of it to stop the bleeding." Hawke steadied herself and took a deep breath.

"Yes, please do that! I don't want to bleed out in this forsaken desert…" Samira muttered as she tried to push the pain away. Blackwall gave a worried look as Hawke placed her hands on Samira's side and did her best.

"There, I've done what I can for now. I'm no healer by any means, so we need to get you back to the nearest Inquisition camp to get you looked at."

"Maker's breath, yes let's please do! I've had enough drama for one day…" Alistair muttered, clearly shaken by all that had happened so far today.

"I've got her!" Blackwall picked Samira's body up with ease and settled her on the horse before settling in behind her.

"I'm so bloody tired now…" Samira fought to stay awake, the combination of her wound, fighting their fair share of bandits, demons, and brainwashed wardens on top of all the travel they had been doing caught up to her.

"Shh, just hold onto me. We're almost there, love." Samira clutched onto him as they rode towards their camp, still in pain and wanting the day to be over.

"Inquisitor! Lay her down in the tent, we'll get the medical supplies!" An Inquisition soldier said with his eyes wide with worry when he saw what had happened to her.

"Fuck!" Samira cried out as the wound practically gaped open when she looked down at it. Blackwall was careful rolling up her top to prepare the medic.

"My lady, I can stop the bleeding and sew it up, but I'm afraid…" The medic stammered, careful not to aggravate her.

"What, what is it?" Samira said exasperated.

"We ran out of anesthesia supplies, we'll have to do this with you awake… you'll feel everything."

 _Fan-fucking-tastic. The Maker is really smiling on me today!_

"Are you fucking kidding me? This is the Inquisitor we're talking about, here!" Varric said angrily as he walked into the tent.

"Well, shit. Just do it, I can take it." Samira took a deep breath and readied herself as the medic prepared to stitch her up.

"Here, kid. Drink this, you'll need it." Varric offered her a bottle of whiskey he kept stashed for travel and Samira gladly took it.

"I'm drinking all of that, thank you!" She took several swigs of it, ignoring the intense taste of alcohol that invaded her mouth. The first couple of times the needle punctured her skin Samira let out blood curdling screams. She hated needles and found her fear of them only made the pain worse as the medic did his best to stitch her wound up.

"I'm sorry, I should have been there, my lady." Blackwall offered his hand in support as she bared down the pain.

"It's not...your fault. Aww fuck, will you hurry up please!? Maker, this hurts like a bastard!" Samira squirmed in pain, impatient for it to be done with.

"Inquisitor, you have to sit still or I won't be able to finish. I'm almost done."

"Shit, you better be. Her screams are enough to scare a bronto." Varric snorted, worry furrowing his brow.

"Okay, I can do this. I just need to focus." Samira took another deep breath and drew on the Fade to calm herself and try to disconnect. She hummed to herself as a distraction and finally after a few minutes, the medic was done.

"No more fighting, or you'll tear the stitching. We'll send a guard with you and some extra medical supplies if it rips open." The medic finished his work and with a bow left the tent.

"I've decided I hate the Western Approach." Samira lay back on the bed roll and took another swig of whiskey before handing it off to Varric.

"Can't say I blame you, Samira. My chest hair has been drenched with sweat since we stepped foot here!"

"Aww, poor Varric. Maybe you shouldn't have come with then, eh?" She teased him, knowing how he would react.

"And deal with Cassandra? No way, I'd rather deal with this than deal with her trying to kill me."

"I'll deal with her when we get back to Skyhold, don't worry about that. I just hope I get there in one piece."

"Varric, can you give us a moment?" Blackwall spoke up from his silence then.

"Sure thing. Let me know when you're ready to head out." He bowed and gave them their moment.

"I won't let this happen again, Samira. I promise you." He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it, a look of desperate love on his face.

"That's very sweet, but it's not as bad as it looks. I'm just a big cry baby, but if it makes you feel better I'll ride with you back home." Their lips met with a gentle kiss before Samira sagged back onto the bedroll exhausted.

"You need a nap. We'll head back to Skyhold once you're back on your feet." He kissed her forehead, holding her tightly to him before he moved to close the tent flap behind him, leaving Samira to fall into a deep sleep.

It took another grueling two weeks to get back to Skyhold, this time the travel was slower as Samira rode more cautiously to let her side heal from the nasty cut. The medics back home remarked that it had been treated well under the circumstances, and the healing mages made short work of finishing mending it.

"Hey Inky! Heard you got into a nasty fight with a bandit! Lemme see it!" Sera and Dorian were the first to approach her, wanting the juicy details of what happened.

"Dear, that is a rather nasty scar you have!" Dorian scoffed, his vanity getting the better of him.

"You don't think it's sexy? I thought battle scars impressed the opposite sex." Samira chuckled, looking to Blackwall who blushed at the thought of it when she raised her shirt up to show the scar off. It was a few inches across the side of her stomach, just deep enough to make enough of an impression to last a lifetime.

"I think Lady Trevelyan looks beautiful regardless. A few scars here and there does nothing...to dissuade me from her company." Blackwall gave a restrained answer, but still had trouble not blushing from the inquiry made by the pair.

"HA! That means he'd still bone her! I would too, scars are super hot." Sera's unabashed opinion rang out across the courtyard, always bringing attention to herself.

"As much as I'd love to stay and chat about battle scars, I have to go to the war room to make plans for Adamant." She kissed Blackwall on the cheek and met Leliana, Cullen, and Josephine for their meeting.

"Adamant fortress has stood against the darkspawn since the second Blight." Leliana began the meeting, filling in Samira on the background of their next destination.

"Will that be a problem, Cullen? You're the expert here, I know nothing of battles from the eyes of soldiers." Samira admitted.

"Fortunately for us, it was built before the age of modern siege equipment. Our trebuchets will be valuable against those ancient walls, thanks to Lady Josephine's efforts…"

"Lady Seryl of Jader was pleased to lend hers, they've already delivered the trebuchets. That is the good news."

"And there's always the bad news…"

"We think Magister Erimond may already be summoning demons for an army at the fortress, so taking our time to strike is not a luxury we have." Leliana said.

"Our forces can breach the gate, but if the wardens already have their demons…" Cullen said, knowing that was not an option to let happen.

"Then we hurry. I need a path to Warden-Commander Clarel and my people and I will do the rest. Taking this fortress is going to get a lot of good soldiers killed." Samira crossed her arms and looked at the war map.

"They know the risks, Inquisitor. And they know what we're fighting for." Josephine's smooth reassurance still did not put Samira's mind at ease, but she knew it was an unavoidable risk they had to take.

"It'll be hard-fought, no way around it. But we'll get that gate open. Give the word, and we march on Adamant."

"Then we march as soon as possible! Thinking about these demons has my skin crawling, I'd rather we deal with this threat quickly." Leliana and Josephine nodded and turned to the preparations they needed to make for the Inquisition to leave.

"You sure you are okay from your recent injury, Inquisitor?" Cullen asked with concern.

"Oh, this scratch? Totally fine now." Samira showed him the scar and noticed his eyes lingered on her bare stomach before she let her cotton tunic fall back down. Averting his gaze quickly, he gave an awkward cough to cover up his embarrassment.

"Well, I'm glad you've recovered so quickly. We were all worried when we heard you were hurt, I bet Warden Blackwall was." He straightened his posture up from an embarrassed man back to the straight-laced commander she had known for months now.

"Oh, yes. He definitely was. I suppose I should make sure all of my things I need are in order." She bowed her head and thought to herself how scared Blackwall had been when she was hurt.

 _With the way he acted, I get hurt any more he might have a heart attack…_

"Lady Inquisitor! Lady Inquisitor, it's finally ready!" Came the voice of Dagna from behind Samira, her head poked out from the forge door.

"You have my full attention, Dagna!" Samira scooted off to the forgery to see what her arcanist had made for her this time. The dwarf had proven herself a more than valuable asset to the Inquisition once Samira had vouched for her expertise.

"I see you're not hiding your staff any more, I hope my device hasn't malfunctioned!" Dagna tried to paw behind Samira on her belt to inspect her invention despite Samira's awkward objection.

"Oh no, it still works and it was very valuable to me during my time as an apostate. So, you said you were crafting new armor for me?" Dagna gestured her forward to where it was being kept hidden with a sheet over it.

"I think you're really going to like the design, still wish you let me make it pink though! Ta-da!" When the sheet came down, Samira saw it.

"It's called 'The Skin That Strikes' I thought that was a fitting name for you." Samira marvelled at it as she stepped forward and admired the craftsmanship. The leather and fabric was a mix of dark samite and fade-touched plush fustian velvet, and the steel plating that adorned the left arm was pure obsidian, Samira's favorite metal.

"And I have a bonus! I came upon a newly improved staff for you as well!" Dagna laughed giddily, all too proud of her work as usual.

"Now you're just spoiling me, Dagna." She sent a wink and smile her way as her new staff was revealed to her.

 _Bloodwake, at least twice as powerful as Wrath of Lovias and Dagna equipped it with a corrupting rune! Dorian's going to be jealous._

The ride to Adamant was just as hard as traveling to the Approach first was, the only difference this time was a bulk horde of Inquisition that now travelled with Samira. There was certainly plenty to talk about as Samira's companions rode with her as well; if she wasn't spending time talking about the Blight and the Hero of Ferelden with Alistair, she was having long conversations with Varric and Hawke about their Kirkwall days and there was always the antics of Sera and Iron Bull to keep her entertained along the way. When they finally made camp just a few miles off from their destination, Samira was all too glad to get off of Raven and stretch her legs.

"I can't say I'm not relieved that Lady Vivienne chose to remain at Skyhold for this trip." Cassandra said as she stretched her arms out and popped her back.

"'I shall remain at Skyhold and make sure order is maintained, my dear!' Yep, that sounds like Vivienne." Samira chuckled at her own impersonation of the enchanter.

"We'd never hear the end of her complaining if we had brought her along. We already have one diva with us as it is!" Cassandra let out an exasperated puff and sent a look over to Dorian.

"Oh, please. A little sand doesn't bother me. You're just a sour puss to less than modest company." Dorian wiggled his eyebrows at the uptight seeker and sent a wink Samira's way.

"Any ways, I spoke to Commander Cullen. He said we are marching on Adamant within the hour, I hope you're ready. I have a bad feeling about this." Cassandra furrowed her brow and crossed her arms in worry, even though she was no stranger to battle.

"I can't tell if you're more worried for me joining this battle or if something else is bothering you. What's on your mind?"

"It is true you are not as battle ready as I would prefer, but I have faith in you. It's what we might find with the wardens that unsettles me." Cassandra candidly said as she unsheathed her sword and began sharpening it.

"Cassandra, I may not be a warrior like you or Cullen, but I can hold my own better than most mages. I just fight a little bit differently, though I understand why you would be anxious about the only person who can seal rifts being on the front lines. And as for the wardens, let me worry about that. We can handle anything that comes our way." Samira placed a reassuring hand on her friend's shoulder before proceeding with Cullen on the plans.

Cullen took most of their forces ahead to start the attack with the trebuchets, and when Samira and her company caught up to the fortress, the battle was ablaze. Hawke and Alistair volunteered to go with the vanguard, leaving Cassandra, Blackwall, Iron Bull, Varric, and Sera with their own force.

 _Oh, great. The demons are here to greet us._

Samira watched the trebuchet fling giant stones at the walls and the synchronization of their soldiers move forward, making note Cullen had trained them well. Samira cringed witnessing soldiers lose their lives as they moved the battering ram to the main gate, but steeled herself for Cullen's go ahead to move.

"I should be down there fighting with them." The herald was itching to get to the battle.

"There! We have our opening, the soldiers on the ladders will give us the distraction we need to move down to the gate. Inquisition, let's go!" Cullen ushered the remaining forces forward as they ran down the hill with shields just in case to block arrows hailing from above.

"Finally, some action! Let's put these wardens straight, Boss." Iron Bull rushed in front of Samira as her bodyguard, his huge axe ready. The ram effectively destroyed the main gate, giving them the chance to pour through ready for battle.

Samira had her staff ready in her hand as she heard a warden yell retreat off one of the nearby battlement walls.

"Alright, Inquisitor. You have your way in. Best make use of it. We'll keep the main host of demons occupied for as long as we can."

"That's a worrying lack of specificity, there, Commander."

"There are more of them than I was hoping, Inquisitor."

"You don't say." Samira had a confident voice, albeit a sarcastic one, used to dealing with demons by now.

"Warden Alistair will guard your back once you find him. Hawke is with our soldiers on the battlements. She's assisting them until you arrive." Cullen looked up at the walls seeing a demon loomed not far from them and noted, "There's too much resistance on the walls. Our men on the ladders can't get a foothold. If you can clear out the enemies on the battlements, we'll cover your advance." He was about to hurry back to the troops before Iron Bull interjected.

"Aww shit, demons. Need any help Cullen?" Iron Bull lamented, choosing to fight the wardens over the creatures.

"Not you too, Sera!" Samira just knew the elf would be all too happy to join the Qunari instead of face demons.

"Don't worry Inquisitor, Bianca and I have your back." Varric fondly stroked the butt of the crossbow, ready to help Samira.

"We should get moving, we need to clear the way to Hawke." Samira ran up the stairs to the battlements with Varric and Blackwall in tow before they ran into Alistair.

"Inquisitor, lead the way!" Another twenty minutes passed by before the bulk of resistance was put down, allowing for Cullen's troops to effectively gain the foothold into the fortress they needed, but the battle was far from over. Upon reaching the main bailey, Samira witnessed wardens fighting among themselves which made it tough for her to discern friend from foe at first.

"Stay back! We will not be sacrificed for some insane ritual!" Came the cry of one distressed warden Samira picked out in the skirmish that unfolded as she reached the stairs into the small courtyard.

"Leave those wardens be, take out the others!" Samira commanded her group as she twisted and twirled her new staff with a fiery will to save them.

"Brothers, can't you see this is madness?" One pleaded for the mad warden's to stop.

"It's no use! Their minds are not their own!" Cried out Alistair as he fought against his own brothers.

The skirmish did not last long, but as Samira turned after pulling her daggers from one corrupt warden, she found herself staring down a blade to her throat. She had no time to blink as time seemed to slow down, her pulse beat loudly in her ears as she stood almost paralyzed from fear. The blade of a nervous warden was an inch from her throat and she was at its mercy.


	15. The Fall

**Chapter 15: The Fall**

"Warden, stand down. We're here to help!" Noting a worried look from Blackwall, Samira dropped her weapons and held her hands out in peace before continuing to the rest of the wardens, "The Inquisition is here to stop Clarel, not to kill Wardens. If you fall back, you won't be harmed."

"All right. My men will stay back. We want no part of this. Deal with Clarel as you must." The man hesitated at first, but then dropped the blade held to Samira's throat before heading out.

"That blade was too close for comfort, Samira." Blackwall remarked as they strode through the fortress to their next destination.

"And you worry too much, Warden Blackwall. It was fine, really. I had it covered." Samira begrudgingly said, trying to shrug the altercation off. Once the group made it back to the battlements, the next twenty minutes was spent on clearing the three main siege points that were flooded with demons, wardens and Inquisition soldiers.

"Boss! Seems like I can't avoid these demons, they're everywhere!" Bull yelled out over his shoulder as he swung his axe down on a rage demon.

"Is Commander Cullen not protecting you adequately enough?" Samira teased while she conjured up a flame wall against oncoming demons from one direction.

"HA! More like the other way around. No offense, Commander." Bull's laugh boomed out as he swung his axe and looked over to Cullen who had his hands full. Samira sent several bolts of lightning at the demons that encircled the former templar.

"Thank you, Inquisitor. We've got the siege points under control now, you should get to the Warden-Commander as soon as possible!" Cullen wiped a bead of sweat from his brow before sheathing his blade. They nodded to each other farewell, Samira setting out to find Hawke then. They found her at one corner of the massive fortress facing down a powerful pride demon.

"Blood mages! It's always blood mages!" Hawke cried out in agitation as she faced down two entranced spellbinders using powerful magic.

"Bull and I will keep the pride demon distracted, help Serah Hawke!" Blackwall ran forward with Bull, their weapons at the ready.

"Hawke!" Samira was now at the mage's side, the fight even.

"Can't say I'm not glad you're here. You ready?" Hawke threw a look at Samira, and she knew what they would do to take them down. As the blood mages chanted, Samira and Hawke brought their magic together as one to break their enemy's barrier. Their hands spewed out fire, fighting against the barrier that separated them.

Hawke struggled with it, but she refused to resort to blood magic to overcome this obstacle, like their enemy had. Samira's mark flashed with power longing to be released, and it was then she knew she had to use it or they would be stuck at a stalemate. Samira stopped using her own magic and opened her entire being to the anchor, and when she let go and gave herself to it, she felt more powerful than she ever had. Elven magic poured from her hand, the bright green light flooded the courtyard, striking the barrier down finally and even reached the pride demon, bringing it down to a knee.

Iron Bull took the opportunity to finish it off then, he ran forward and swung his axe down swiftly, cutting its head off cleanly.

"Hell yeah! That's what I'm talking about."

"That was...incredible, Inquisitor." Hawke said once she had a moment to breathe after knocking the mages out.

"It was definitely something. Good work by the way." Samira looked down at her hand, noticing the anchor's power had simmered down but not completely faded.

"If we're lucky, Clarel hasn't performed the ritual yet. We need to hurry."

"My thoughts exactly, no more distractions. Erimond and I have unfinished business to conclude." With that, they set off, knowing they were close. The secluded courtyard they arrived at was full of wardens witnessing the beginning of the ritual. The group ran forward, ready to intercede when the Magister noticed their presence.

"Stop them! We must complete the ritual!"

 _Well, this doesn't look good. Clearly, we're outnumbered. Let's see if talking will do us any good._

"I'm sure you can't wait for Clarel to do that. How else are you going to bind her?"

"Yes, Inquisitor, I want to bind the Warden-Commander to a demon. Everyone in this room already knows that. And yes, the ritual requires blood sacrifice. Hate me for that if you must, but do not hate the wardens for doing their duty." Erimond ranted, making Samira want to throttle him for his lies.

"We make the sacrifices no one else will. Our warriors die proudly for a world that will never thank them." Clarel interjected, her misguided judgment at the core a noble notion.

"And then your Tevinter ally binds the mages to Corypheus!" Alistair spoke up, surprising his commander then.

"Corypheus? But he's dead."

"These people will say anything to shake your confidence, Clarel." Erimond played a snake in her ear, and it took all of Samira's patience to not rush forward and confront him then, regardless if the wardens believed her. Blackwall held her arm, silently urging patience. As Clarel took a moment to think, Samira's pulse quickened in anticipation.

"Bring it through."

"Damn it." Samira sighed, knowing they would have to fight again. The warden's in the center of the courtyard began to usher in the fade rift that conjured.

"Please, I have seen more than my share of blood magic! It is never worth the cost!" Hawke and Alistair desperately appealed to the wardens, and even Samira had to ask Blackwall to try to stop them.

"You don't know me, but you may have heard my name. Like you, I've given my life to the Grey Wardens. The first time I put on this armor, I felt like I belonged, like I was part of something honorable, something with purpose. I know how good that feels. How safe. But fighting and dying here today won't stop the Blight. If you want to stop the Blight, kill that bastard up there. His master is the living embodiment of its corruption." Samira felt pride for Blackwall's words, Alistair not so much.

 _I don't think Alistair likes Blackwall very much, he's been acting distrustful with him lately._

"Clarel, we have come so far. You're the only one who can do this."

"Perhaps we could test the truth of these charges, to avoid more bloodshed."

"Or perhaps I should bring in a more reliable ally. My master thought you might come here, Inquisitor! He sent me this to welcome you!" Erimond was prepared all along, he brought his staff down to call the dragon that bowed down to Corypheus.

"Oh, shit. Not you again!" Samira was definitely not happy to see that dragon again after meeting it at Haven. The great beast encircled the courtyard before landing on the fortress walls.

"Help the Inquisitor!" Clarel finally came to her senses, seeing the misdeeds of the Tevinter magister and turning on him.

While she went after him, the rift opened up and another pride demon appeared. The courtyard exploded into chaos as Samira stood side by side with her allies against the evil. It took all of Hawke's and Samira's mana just protecting the group from incoming energy the dragon hailed down on the courtyard, which happened rather frequently. This rift was the toughest to close by far, the demons were no garden variety, and with the controlled mages fighting against them, Samira had her work cut out for her. Alas, she was focused, she would not let the Magister get away with his evil deeds against the wardens.

Varric was knocked out about midway through the fight; bits of debris that had scattered whenever the dragon would leave the wall (crushing talons took chunks of the wall with it) came flying down and hit him. Hawke was the first to make sure he was alright, leaving the two women a welcome sigh of relief to see he was still breathing, but as the fight dragged on, they had no choice to leave their friend. Once the rift was sealed, they made sure he was taken care of by nearby soldiers, dragging him to safety.

"Stay safe, old friend." Hawke kissed her best friend on the forehead before they took him.

"He's going to be fine, our medics will take care of him, Hawke." Samira said.

"He better be. Now, go!" Hawke urged her on, knowing they had to reach Erimond and put an end to all of this finally. Samira knew it too as she rushed forward out of the courtyard and up steps that wound to the very epicenter of the fortress. She dodged attacks from the dragon as she went, but kept up her relentless pursuit to see this done.

She arrived to a bridge where Clarel and Erimond fought. Clarel stalked forward, her barrier deflecting balls of fire. Samira could sense Clarel's fury had no bounds for what Erimond's trickery had done.

"You! You've destroyed the Grey Wardens!" She easily knocked him down with her staff as Samira watched from afar.

"You...did that to yourself, you stupid bitch." Erimond laughed weakly, clearly relishing all he had done for his master.

"All I did was dangle a little power before your eyes. And you couldn't _wait_ to get your hands bloody!" She blasted him again, this time sending his body several feet up the bridge practically in front of Samira now. Samira smirked as she stood at his head while Clarel approached him; he was surrounded.

"You're pathetic, Erimond." Samira spat at the ground, unable to contain her disgust for the mage.

"You could have served a new god."

"I will _never_ serve the Blight." Iron Bull, Blackwall, and Hawke with Alistair were now there but before their arrival could count for anything, Corypheus's dragon was swooping in and taking Clarel with it. It threw her body like a rag doll back down to the ground, grievously wounding her, poised to attack the group.

"In war, victory...in peace, vigilance…" Clarel weakly said as her form gushed with blood. She turned her body over and gave one last stand against the dragon to help the Inquisition, sending a powerful bolt of lightning at it, this time taking part of the bridge down.

"Go!" Samira screamed as chunks of the bridge grew wildly unstable, threatening to take them all down with it. They scrambled backwards, Alistair almost fell down with it, but Samira grabbed his hand at the last second to pull him forward. Mere seconds followed and the whole bridge was going down, Samira and her allies were falling into an abyss of green as they plummeted.

Samira opened her mouth to scream in terror, but the rush of wind overwhelmed her senses. The only thing she could do was hold out her hand as the anchor connected with the fade that was now swallowing them up.

 _Maker, protect us. Andraste, save me._


	16. Faded

**A/N: This was a tedious chapter to write; its all canon from the Fade nightmare quest, but I had two reasons to include it. 1. To further the plot (obviously) and I haven't seen many people do their own versions of that part so I wanted to try my hand at it. And 2. I never went into detail in previous chapters to explain Samira's thoughts and feelings on not remembering how she received the anchor.**

 **This chapter is just as much about exploring her feelings about learning the truth as it is about moving the story along for plot purposes.**

 **Chapter 16: Faded**

Samira's eyes were tightly closed when she became one with the Fade, the consuming green light too much for her eyes to bear. It felt like an eternity to her, like her spirit was in limbo but in reality it merely only took a moment for her body to be spit out on the other side. Once exiting the portal, her body seemed to angle downwards, but gravity (or lack of) had other plans for her.

 _Holy shit, I'm floating!_

She reached out a finger to touch the ground, which was now above her and almost immediately regretted it.

"Ah, fuck!" She grunted as her body impacted with the ground. Her vision was blurry at first as she took in her surroundings, making Samira anxious to find her companions.

"Blackwall! Blackwall, where are you?" She cried out panicking, hoping they all had made it through.

"Well, this is unexpected." Alistair was the first to speak on their arrival as Samira gathered her thoughts.

"Samira! I'm here." Blackwall called out to her in a precarious position above. He met her by climbing down the rocks that joined back to the right side.

"Shit, I thought…" She hugged him tightly, not wanting to let him go so easily.

"I know, I did as well." He caught her lips in a brief but sweet kiss before they rejoined the others.

"We...we were falling. If this is the afterlife, the Chantry owes me an apology. This looks nothing like the Maker's bosom." Iron Bull huffed in reaction to Hawke's jest, hating their predicament.

"No, the Inquisitor used the mark to open another rift. We fell through...to the Fade." Alistair spoke as Samira looked at the desolate landscape before them. The air appeared a haze of green and yellow, and the sky…

 _The Black City. It's absolutely beautiful and terrifying to look at at the same time._

"Inquisitor, the stories say you walked out of the Fade at Haven. Was it like this?" Hawke asked since she had a completely different experience with the Fade.

"How should I know? I'm not exactly an authority on the subject! I don't even remember last time!" Samira found herself growing hot at the inquiry; ever since this whole mess had started, what had happened at the Conclave wasn't a fond memory she liked to try to recall.

 _I've had bits and pieces come to me in dreams sometimes, but it's all been too blurry for me to put anything together. I don't remember what happened to me. Iron Bull and Blackwall have been welcome distractions to those troubling thoughts, I must admit._

"Well, whatever happened at Haven, we can't assume we're safe now. That huge demon was right on the other side of that rift Erimond was using, and there could be others."

"Oh, this is shitty." Bull shook his head in disapproval and continued, "I'll fight whatever you give me, Boss, but nobody said nothing about getting dragged through the ass end of demon town."

"I know, Bull. I hate it too." Samira walked up to her former lover and gripped his scarred hand in comfort.

"Amara isn't going to believe me when I tell her about this. In our world, the rift the demons came through was nearby. In the main hall. Can we get out the same way?" Alistair spoke fondly of his love before setting about how they were going to escape.

"It beats waiting around for demons to find us, right?" Samira walked forward and gazed at the sky. "There. Let's go." She pointed to stone steps to the north and they followed, on their guard to be attacked at any moment. As they walked through the wide open space forward, Iron Bull filled the eery silence by mocking his lieutenant Krem.

"'Hey Chief. Let's join the Inquisition! Good fights for a good cause!' I don't know, Krem. I hear there are demons. 'Ah, don't worry about the demons, Chief! I'm sure we won't see many!'" He followed it up by unintelligible muttering and then, "ASSHOLE. Everyone, if I get possessed, feint on my blind side, then go low. Cullen says I leave myself open."

"Good to know." Blackwall was the first to respond, and Samira couldn't help but afford herself a laugh, despite the atmosphere.

"What? That can't be…" The laugh was cut short by the shock in Alistair's voice once they reached the top of the stairs.

"I greet you, Warden. And you, Champion." Came the feminine voice of someone they never thought they would see there.

"Divine Justinia." Samira's voice was incredulous for this meeting, for she could never clearly remember the woman who saved her, but something in her gut recognized her.

 _I feel warm, and safe. Just like I did when I reached out…_

"Back at Haven, I saw...I thought I saw...how can you be here?" Samira grasped at straws within her memory, trying so hard to piece the fragments together.

"Inquisitor, forgive me, but I don't recall the Divine glowing. In my experience, that's something spirits do." Alistair wasn't the only one of the group with a healthy skepticism of the being before them.

"You think my survival impossible, yet here you stand alive in the Fade yourselves. In truth, proving my existence either way would require time we do not have." The spirit form of Justinia cryptically spoke, earning a snort from Hawke.

"Really? How hard is it to answer one question? I'm a human and you are…"

"I am here to help you. You do not remember what happened at the Temple of Sacred Ashes, Inquisitor."

"No, I don't. I tried to remember before, but honestly it was just a big headache trying to."

"The memories you have lost were taken by the demon that serves Corypheus. It is the nightmare you forget upon waking. It feeds off memories of fear and darkness, growing fat upon the terror. The false calling that terrified the wardens into making such grave mistakes? It's work."

"I'd like to have a few words with this Nightmare about that." Alistair's brow furrowed in anger.

"You will have your chance, brave warden. This place of darkness is its lair."

"The big demon Erimond was trying to bring through?" Samira asked and continued when Justinia confirmed. "It's nearby?"

"Yes."

"Well, shit." She sighed, knowing they weren't going to have an easy time of it.

"When you entered the Fade at Haven, the demon took a part of you. Before you do anything else, you must recover it. These are your memories, Inquisitor." Samira felt a longing within her suddenly as she looked over the rough terrain and saw little balls of green energy swimming in the air. Before she could go to them, several wraiths appeared from thin air to stand in her way.

"Oh, Maker...I don't have time for this!" Samira already had her staff out as the warriors charged. Three warriors and two mages made short work of them in almost no time, leaving Samira the opportunity to approach her memories.

"Here goes nothing." Her anchor flashed sensations into her nerves up her arms as she held it out to reach for the memories.

" _Why are you doing this? You of all people? Run while you can! Warn them!"_ Justinia's voice rang out for all to hear, as Samira collected important pieces of herself. At first, she was not very impressed, as these were the same recollections that reverberated across the temple when they first attempted to stop the Breach. And then it all came flooding back to Samira in a white light.

Samira could see it in her eyes as if it was all happening in front of her. Justinia, bound by magic in a ritual. Surrounded by Grey Wardens of all people! She was in total despair.

" _Now is the hour of our victory."_

" _Why are you doing this? You of all people?"_

" _Keep the sacrifice still."_ Samira's bone's went cold as ice as she witnessed Corypheus approach the divine.

" _Someone help me!"_ He was draining her, taking all she had given to the world for his own machinations, until Samira bust through the doors.

" _What's going on here?"_ Samira found it odd, seeing herself in this vision of what really happened at the Conclave, but entranced to finally see the truth of how this all started for her.

Samira's mind unfolded, it all clicked into place immediately. How she had rushed forward to grab the orb, and when she did, all she felt was a crippling white hot fire spread up her hand to her arm and then nothing. The deafening explosion that followed had everyone shaken as the group tried to wrap their heads around the revelation.

"So that mark on your hand, it wasn't sent by Andraste. It came from that orb Corypheus was using." Alistair spoke first while everyone still absorbed the fact Samira was not a holy messenger.

"A lot of people are going to be upset about this, and some no doubt pleased to learn that." Samira didn't quite know how she felt about the idea. Part of it was a relief to have that off her shoulders, but deep down she knew she would always be known as the Herald of Andraste.

"Corypheus intended to rip open the Veil, use the anchor to enter the Fade, and throw open the doors of the Black City. Not for the Old Gods but for himself. When you disrupted his plan, the orb bestowed the anchor upon you instead."

"So this was, what, an accident? A random ricochet in the middle of a fight? If it was, then neither the Maker nor Andraste were in any way involved in this! I'm just…"

 _Who am I kidding, it made me feel like someone. Like someone who was changing the world. And here I was, attempting to turn over a new leaf with religion…_

Samira had a bitter taste in her mouth. Her experiences with the Chantry growing up hadn't been all that pleasant; so when she was finally warming up to the whole thing, just to have it ripped away, it was definitely disheartening. Blackwall attempted to console her with a hand to her shoulder, but she was too agitated to let him help her.

"If you believe in the Maker, then you believe He made this world and everything in it, including your accident. And if you do not, then nothing has changed. You cannot escape the lair of the nightmare until you regain all that it took from you. You have recovered some of yourself, but now it knows you are here. You must make haste. I will prepare the way ahead." And with that, the spirit was gone.

 _Great._

"What's wrong, Hawke?" Alistair asked when Samira turned back to her ally's.

"I wondered if you might be a little concerned about the Grey Wardens holding the Divine in that vision. Their actions led to her death."

"I assumed Corypheus took their minds, you've seen it happen yourself. Come on, you can add it to the things to yell to the wardens about when we get out of here."

"Oh, I intend to. Fenris might have a few things to say about it too, just a fair warning." Although Hawke wasn't happy at all about the ritual and being stuck in the Fade, she still found it within herself to send a wink over to the Inquisitor, who was grateful for the banter.

They set out again traversing the rocky terrain that was the Fade. Bull of course continued to lament to Blackwall about the looming threat of the nightmare demon, until a calm, low voice echoed out from a distance.

"Ah, we have a visitor. Some silly little girl comes to steal the fear I kindly lifted from her shoulders."

"Hey, I am no little girl, thank you!" Samira called out, trying her best to put her face on and not show fear to the chilly voice.

"You should have thanked me and left your fear where it lay, forgotten. You think that pain will make you stronger? What fool filled your mind with such drivel?"

"Shut your mouth, demon. You don't know what you're talking about." Samira shrugged off his attempt to break her resolve down, she couldn't afford to let this creature sow seeds of doubt in her now.

"The only one who grows stronger from your fears is _me._ But you are a guest here in my home, so by all means, let me return what you have forgotten." That promise cued in an onslaught of demons when they reached the next open space.

"Guess this nightmare wasn't such hot shit after all."

"You think that was him? Sorry friend, but that was definitely not him." Hawke was the one to burst Bull's bubble this time.

"Just let me have this moment to hope, all right?"

"We keep pushing forward, the faster we go, the better." Samira resolved this as leader, and they kept going. The feeling of longing began to soon creep back on her a few minutes later as the group was travelling, so she knew they were close to the Divine again. But Nightmare was not going to let them by so easily.

Samira wasn't so fazed when the demon tried to dissuade Bull, but when it spoke to Blackwall, it had Samira's attention then. She found herself hanging to its every word, confused for its cryptic words to the warden.

"There's nothing like a Grey Warden. And you are _nothing_ like a Grey Warden." The feeling that statement sent settled in Samira's stomach, and she couldn't place why but it bothered her.

"I'll show you a warden's strength, beast." Blackwall was as stoic as ever, sending a confident look to Samira, but his eyes spoke a different story to his mage lover. She pushed it out of her mind and focused her eyes on the horizon of another flight of stairs, this one was their destination. Before ascending the steps, a lone graveyard stood at its foot, calling out to Samira.

 _Tombstones for everyone, except me. Solas: Dying alone. Cole: Despair. Sera: The Nothing. Dorian: Temptation. Cassandra: Helplessness. Varric: Becoming his parents. Vivienne: Irrelevance. Iron Bull: Madness? And Blackwall...himself?_

Deciding it was best for Bull and Blackwall not to see her discovery, she quickly left the graveyard and went back to the group awaiting her.

"I can see the Divine."

"There is not much time, Inquisitor." And that she believed from Justinia; Samira's emotions were becoming a cloudy mess the longer they stayed in the Fade, she could feel its effects starting to take hold of her.

 _I'm not going to let this place fuck with my head, damn it!_

"I wish we had more time to talk, there's so much I want to ask you. If Cassandra and Leliana were here…"

"Let me ask you this: are you what the Maker made you, Inquisitor?" The spirit deflected from responding directly to her and instead redirected their focus back to her.

"I believe I was meant to become the Inquisitor." Maybe she wasn't some fabled herald, but Samira knew deep down she was meant for great things. It had been a long journey so far, but she had faith underneath all of her doubt and facades she put on for the world.

"But what is the Inquisitor? And how will she change the world? You believe in your purpose, and that is good. That is your power. All other answers rest in you. It is something you must figure out, but you cannot grow until you recover all that was taken from you." Justinia pointed her finger and then that familiar feeling was back again, beckoning her to take the rest of herself back from the fear demon.

The group was taken back to Samira escaping the Fade the first time. Her skin prickled with goosebumps remembering the panic she felt climbing that hill. Her tongue went dry from the humid air, she could remember the sweat beading on her forehead. She even remembered her trivial desire to keep her favorite jacket, she almost smiled at that. It was all so vivid as the scene played out in front of them.

"This is the Breach back in Haven. That's how we...how _I_ escaped."

But this time it was different. The female at the top was not full of light like before. The next moment Samira was finally at the top of the hill, she had made it after all! In her dreams back at Haven, Samira always had nightmares with vague visions of not reaching the top. And then Samira saw why the demon took her memory.

 _I failed to save her as they dragged her away…_

"It was you." Samira's voice was almost a soft whisper as she spoke to her real savior. Not Andraste, it was Divine Justinia sacrificing herself for her in the Fade.

"They thought it was Andraste sending me from the Fade, but it was the Divine behind me. And then you...she died."

"Yes."

"So this can't be the Divine." Alistair said.

"You don't say." Hawke chimed back sarcastically while Samira was at a loss for words.

"I am sorry if I disappoint you." Although she was just a spirit, her sadness softened Hawke's look to compassion before she transformed into that golden figure Samira had remembered, and then she was floating.

"I must know. Are you...her? Did you linger here to help me, instead of passing on?" Samira wanted to believe that was the truth, that at least some part of this spirit was the real Justinia.

"If that is the story you wish to tell, it is not a bad one."

 _Not if it isn't the truth. I don't want fables and myths, I want to speak the truth of what really happened._

"What we do know is that the mortal Divine perished at the temple, thanks to the Grey Wardens."

"What, again? It wasn't their fault! We can debate the depressing details when we get back to Adamant." At this point, Alistair was getting just as fired up as Hawke was.

"Assuming that the wardens and their demon army didn't destroy the Inquisition while we were gone."

"So what, what are you saying? Terrible actions are only justified when they're _your_ terrible actions? You practically killed every mage in Kirkwall, despite being one yourself."

"Yes, because too many of them were practicing blood magic, just like your wardens!" Hawke sounded like she was going to burst a blood vessel before she sighed and lowered her voice. "Even without the influence of Corypheus, the wardens go too far. They need to be checked."

"What are you saying? You want to get rid of the wardens? Everyone makes mistakes. They would've died to save us!" Blackwall could no longer stay in the background to this one, and Samira couldn't blame him, despite her patience for the argument about to blow over.

"Don't know that we can pass judgment on the only folks who know how to stop Blights." Iron Bull made the most unbiased, practical sense of all them.

"Sweet Maker, could both of you please shut up? We can argue once we've escaped from the giant fear demon." Samira wasn't Inquisitor at that point, she was just fed up with their bickering and sorely needed to get out of the Fade.

 _Ugh, I'm so damn tired, both mentally and physically._

"Inquisitor…" Both Alistair and Hawke had a slightly surprised look on their face, but before the conversation could continue they were interrupted by a swarm of spiders.

"The Nightmare has found us!" The spirit was gone as soon she announced their unwelcome intruders.

"All together!"

"I'm with you!" Their conflict now dropped, the warden and champion were back to working together, and of course then was the perfect time for the demon to prey on them next.

"This bastard thinks he can prove himself. It's far too late for that. Your whole life you've left everything in more capable hands. The archdemon, the throne of Ferelden. Even your love takes the most important task off your hands, searching for a cure she will die in vain for. Who will you hide behind now?"

"Is that all its got? I've heard worse than that from Morrigan." Alistair stubbornly replied to the demon as he impaled a spider on his sword.

The demon went on to berate Hawke during the fight, touching old wounds of her dead family and destroyed city and of course, throwing in snide comments of Fenris.

"He'll get no satisfaction from me, although he is trying rather hard. He's not stopping us."

They had to battle through two barriers blocking their way, one of which possessed a pride demon, but after that they were met up with the spirit once more, this time guiding the group through a cavern.

"This demon has pulled out quite a lot of stops. Stay by my side, my lady." Samira actually welcomed the idea of not having to fight so hard on her own and having her man protect her. She was definitely not in a state to protest, so she just nodded an affirmation.

"Get through the rift and then slam it closed with all your strength. That will banish the army of demons...and exile this cursed creature to the farthest reaches of the Fade." They came to the end of the cavern, and not far in the distance was the creature the spirit spoke of.

"The rift! We're almost there! Varric's going to be glad to see us."

"Aww shit. You spoke too soon, Hawke!" Iron Bull said when they saw the giant spider creature that stood behind the demon.

"This day just couldn't get any worse." Samira let out a huff and prepared herself mentally, her stress level at its peak seeing the combination of two impossible foes in their way. Absentmindedly, she grabbed Blackwall's hand and sent him a look, one that he did not agree with. His eyes had a fiery determination to get the both of them out of there, which renewed Samira's hope.

 _As selfish as this may be, I'm really glad he's here with me._

"If you would, please tell Leliana, 'I am sorry. I failed you, too.'" Justinia was floating up and past them now to the spider, giving all of her being to subdue it. Her bright light filled the valley, pushing the spider away for a time, and it was that last sacrifice from Justinia that cleared Samira's muddy thoughts and gave her hope they could beat it.

"Damn, he's an ugly son of a bitch! HA, come get some!" Regardless of Bull's hatred for demons, he relished taking it on as he gripped his axe.

"Hawke? One last fight!" Samira grabbed her staff from her back and ran forward with the champion, this time no fear to hold them back.

The demon was clever, he never stayed in one place for too long, transporting himself to different spots which is why the two mages were so badly needed in the fight. It would summon hordes of spiders to flank the warriors, but as long as Hawke and Samira stayed together, they had each other's backs with keeping their barriers up.

Hawke held her barrier first while Samira quickly summoned several fire mines in the general vicinity of the demon. The objective was to hold him off until the men could take down the spiders. Once a wave of spiders was dealt with, Bull tapped into his primal nature and went berserk on it, while Blackwall and Alistair relied more on their shields to protect and deal damage. Any time Samira tired and seemed like she would falter with her barrier, either Hawke would step up or Blackwall would be right by her side to cover her from attacks.

 _I can do this! Just focus your mana._

Samira grew tired of using her staff; she reattached it to her back and drew out her daggers and was ready for a real fight. Breaking her position, she called to Iron Bull as she charged forward, at the last second he knelt down on one knee, giving her the step up she needed to fly through the air and stab the demon with both daggers. She literally looked fear in the eye as it screeched out in pain and anger. Fear responded by swiping with its claw at her, knocking her back down to the ground, but not before she pulled out the daggers.

Black blood seeped from its wounds, and it was then she knew the fight was done. Hawke cast a freezing spell on it to slow it just enough so Alistair and Blackwall finished it by stabbing it in the heart. It screeched in terrible pain before fading away to nothing. They didn't bother stopping to catch their breaths, Bull was climbing the hill to enter the rift, and Blackwall had started his way up.

Samira, Alistair, and Hawke were a different story though. The giant spider rematerialized suddenly in their way, forcing Samira back just as they were so close to leaving.

"How do we get by?"

"Go. I'll cover you." Samira doesn't fully grasp at first what that means until Alistair also volunteered to stay behind.

"No, I can't lose either of you. I won't! We'll fight it together!" She cried out, her emotion a tight ball in her throat. Suddenly Blackwall was behind her, having dodged the obstacle that stood in between them.

"Samira, we have to go!" He pulled at her arm, but she stood steadfast refusing to let either of them stay so she could escape.

"No, damn it! I'm not fucking leaving!" She screamed as he wrapped his arms firmly around her and pulled with all his might; she was unable to fight it as he started to drag her up the hill.

"Hawke!" A tear rolled down her eye as she watched Hawke and Alistair exchange final words.

"Tell Varric and Fenris I'm sorry. I love them." Was the last thing Samira heard Hawke call out before they approached the rift. She turned and ran towards the spider with her daggers out blazing. She was choosing to die as a warrior first.

As Alistair reached them at the rift, Samira took one last long look at her friend and hero and saw her fall, saw her die as her lover pulled her through back to where Thedas awaited her return.

 **A/N:** **Okay, I had to do it. I never kill Hawke in game (I've always had Stroud as my warden, so I didn't feel so guilty) but Hawke's death serves a purpose, it wasn't just about the shock value. My next chapter I've had written a while now, it's entirely in Hawke's first perspective as a little one shot before I get back to the story. Thank you to anyone who is following, favoriting and reviewing this. -Erulastiel aka Lady Sarella (Archive of our own)**


	17. I'm sorry

**A/N:** **This was a bit of an experiment for me, as I don't usually write like this so it's different than what I'm used to. I wanted to fill in the blanks I left with my Hawke's story that I gave glimpses of when she talked to the Inquisitor in the tavern. She's witty, but her life and outlook has been forever changed as heartbreak as shaped her.**

 **This is like a flashback sort of thing, so the changes were made pretty obvious. Hopefully the switches in time aren't confusing.**

 **Chapter 17: I'm sorry**

The Fade is absolutely terrifying, but I have no other choice. The Inquisitor must live. The order needs Alistair as well. Fenris, I'm so sorry. My steps are heavy as we try to run up the hill to leave, and I see the demon is going to trap us all from leaving the Fade. My heart is even heavier when this comes next.

It takes all of my courage to face this, it's always got to be the Maker damned spiders.

 **XoXo**

When he pushes me up against the wall as his lyrium tattoos light up, I am surprised but not scared of the expression on his face. His tight grasp on my body in defense relaxes and I feel a stirring within me I have not felt before. Instinct and carnal desire takes over, I am shoving him against the wall and we are kissing fiercely, all sense abandoned.

"Hawke…" Fenris gasps into my ear, clenching his jaw in an intense focus as I place hurried kisses along his neck.

"I want you." I simply say, and he agrees. Fenris throws me over his shoulder and marches to my bedroom, I'm glad the house is abandoned for the time being. He quickly unstraps his armor as I slowly peel off my shirt, followed by my skirt. Fenris is looking at me with a hunger as I slowly step out of the skirt, my nerves start to flare as he looks at my almost naked flesh.

I sit back on the bed, and am greeted by him as he slides on top of me, my pulse quickens. I move back onto the pillows as he descends on me, his cold hands trace along my side. I reach up to touch him and he winces, but let's me continue.

"Fenris, I-" I am unsure, even though I badly need him. I hate to cause him pain.

"Continue, I need this as much as you do." His cool voice tells me and our lips are on each other again. I quickly undo what covers my breasts and he marvels, making me blush. Fenris has a mixture of desire, care, and pain in his eyes as he lets me touch him for the first time. I am careful to avoid the lyrium lines to avoid him any further pain.

All I want is to be with him, for him to let my love heal him. I do my best when I feel the contours of his torso. He is lithe and strong in one being, my body yearns for his. Fenris does as well, his hands graze over my stomach and cups my breasts as he kisses me and I feel my desire flare. I try to cross my legs to hold it all in, but he doesn't let me. Fenris brings his hand back down and yanks down the last piece of clothing. I am naked before him, he is as well save his pants.

"You are marvelous." Fenris softly says before his fingers find my spot that brings me pleasure.

The elven warrior is solely intent on my pleasure, watching me writhe as his hands tend to my womanhood. He brings me bliss several times before his fingers retreat and he is pulling his pants off. His hard member springs forward and it drives me wild. Fenris now looms over me, I am his and he knows it. I lay there in wait, beckoning him forward.

He positions himself at my entrance and I gasp as he slowly thrusts into me. We are both no stranger to sex, but it has been a while for either of us, so we take our time to adjust back to the familiarity. I wrap my legs around him and dig my nails into his back as he drives into me faster, we are taken away by our impulsiveness fully now. I gasp his name several times in pleasure when he rubs my clit in circles as he continues to thrust himself in me.

"Marian…" Fenris groans both in agony and pleasure as my touch consumes him.

"Fenris, look in my eyes." I force him to look at me to distract him, I hope it is enough. When our gazes lock, Fenris continues with renewed fervor and I am grateful for it. Fenris knows exactly how to unlock me and he follows soon after. When I wake up from my slumber, things do not go over well.

"You don't have to do this, I can help you." I protest when he says it's not the right time to be with me.

"I'm sorry, I feel like a fool for doing this. All I wanted was to be happy, just for a little while." Fenris is full of pain, I can tell but I am as well.

"Fenris, don't do this. I love you!" I cry out, tears are running down my cheeks because I've come to care for him deeper than anyone before.

"Please, forgive me. I hope you can understand why I must do this." Fenris doesn't give me the chance to reply, he leaves and with it comes bitterness and hurt I cannot understand.

 **XoXo**

"Go. I'll cover you." My words are final, despite the protests from Alistair and Trevelyan.

The Inquisitor has a look on her face like she's unwilling to accept this, but she doesn't have a choice in this. She must be the one to defeat Corypheus, she's the only one who can. I will not let anyone else die in my place. I could never forgive myself if I did that to Amara. I look at Alistair and we nod our heads in acknowledgment.

"Tell her you love her every single moment you can, it's the little ones that count." Alistair grasps my hand in gratitude, but the Inquisitor cannot bear leaving me behind. As she struggles against her companion, I make my way back down the hill where I meet death.

Anders is there for me as I grieve. I have never loved another before, not in this way. Anders is a dear friend, but also more. He has always teetered on the edge between a trusted friend and confidante, but there has been possibility for me. It is not until Fenris leaves me that my friendship with him becomes complicated.

I first saw that when I overheard the two speaking. The way Anders spoke up for me warmed my heart, the way he spoke _of_ me when I wasn't around made me care more for him.

"Anders, you're very sweet. I appreciate it." The next time I see him I grasp his hand, and then suddenly he kisses me. I am unsure of what to think, is it an impulse of his or something more? Anders is not entirely a stable mage, and with so much I have lost over the years, I take refuge in his arms. I still think of Fenris, but being alone has been hard...so lonely.

As the months and years go by, Anders and I have stolen kisses in times of need. Even though I know he wants more, Anders understands I cannot give him I am unable to do that. He couldn't give me more even if I wanted it from him. His inner demons, the spirit that resides within him makes it too hard to have a normal relationship with anyone. So, we are there for each other, but we never have sex. We may kiss and tumble around the bed, but we never take it further.

"I love you, you know that right?" Anders says to me one day, this is three years after Fenris. I am still in love with him secretly, but we have remained friends.

"Of course I know that, Anders. You're my best friend...with benefits." I try to crack a joke to ease the tension that is clearly in his voice.

"I mean, I really love you. In love with you. I cannot stop thinking about it, even though it would never work." Anders voice is almost a whisper, and my heart hurts then. I could admit to him right there that I love him as well, but I know I could never be in love with him. Not like Fenris.

"Please, say something. I know you still love him, but I can't hold this in any longer." He takes my hands between his own and looks in my eyes for some sort of answer.

"Anders, I love you too. I just wish it was enough. You are good enough as you are, but I'm not. I couldn't give you what you deserve." I cast my eyes downwards sadly, wishing we knew how to be happy.

"I don't care, I can't go another night longing for you! Give me this, at least once, please. I know you need me too." He cups my face with his hand and I am bittersweet at the motion. I wished it was Fenris that could have been able to do that without flinching, and I am guilty for the thought.

I am awash with conflict then. I have never lain with him because I didn't want to hurt him and vice versa, but now he is begging me to consummate a relationship neither of us could actually fulfill.

"Just this one night, sweetheart." Anders tilts his forehead against mine and I lightly place a kiss on his lips. My heart hurts for him, it hurts as I have feelings for him that I could never completely follow through on, and it hurts because I am in love with Fenris still. I hurt for the pain Anders is in, I wish things were better.

"In another life, we would be together. For tonight, we can be." I lightly touch his lips with my fingers and a tear rolls down my face. He wipes it away and kisses me. Three years have gone by and Fenris has still not come back to me, I have become hopeless for my love.

"Tonight." No more words are spoken as we take solace in each other's arms for the night. Anders is gentle but urgent with me, he has reason to be. He treats me as if it will end at any moment, so there is a sense of savoring to his actions as his hands feel my naked form beneath him.

"Justice is turning a blind eye this time, he let me finally have this." He comments, which is why he could never be fully intimate before and I am happy in a way to give him this for a night. Although my love for Anders encompasses beyond friendship, I am glad to help him, even if it is bittersweet.

"Then come to me." I lay him down and sit astride him, lowering myself on him. We both moan at the unchecked pleasure we let ourselves have this night as I ride him back and forth.

"Hawke, I love you." Anders cries out, barely able to contain himself. His hands are gliding smoothly over my skin and they stop over my nipples.

"I love you too, Anders." I reply, and another tear rolls down my cheek I cannot stop. My emotions get the better of me, I cannot control myself. He leans upwards and puts his arms around me and we kiss, this is our only night to make love, he knows. I continue to rock back and forth on him, my legs are folded beneath me with his support.

I am torn. I am torn between loving my best friend that could never be a real thing, and the man I cannot have. For now we revel in our touch, skin slapping against each other as the heavens touch our bodies.

"Hawke, I wish we could be together forever. I wish he hadn't hurt you. I wish…" Anders is at a loss for words when we're done.

"I know, darling. I know." I lay against his chest, letting his warmth take care of me.

"I wish I never let Justice join with me, it could have been different." He says, kissing my hair.

I know he is right, but that is in another life. We end things that night and in doing so we decide to keep some distance to let things air out. We fall asleep together as lovers, and when Anders wakes up, I am gone. Mother is dead now, so I have no reason to stay at the estate tonight, so I make my way to the Hanged Man. Before I go in, I linger in the alley and cry. I let everything out, everything that had built up since the fateful day Carver died escaping the darkspawn army.

"Tell Varric and Fenris I'm sorry. I love them." I call over my shoulder as we separate.

 **XoXo**

The demon is lurking right above me when I reach the floor. My daggers are already out and flashing, blood spraying out across my face. I feel bloodlust, it's all that my body has as I steel myself for a fitting end to the tale of the Champion of Kirkwall. When the giant spider's appendage pierces my shoulder and my side, I fall to my knees and I think of Fenris. His cold lyrium touch always warms me and somehow I feel it now, even though he is not here.

 **XoXo**

I am quiet drinking with Varric tonight, and he knows why deep down. I have done well keeping my depression hidden from Fenris, but it has not escaped my best friend's notice. Varric is all I have left really. He let's me lean against him and we drink in silence.

Weeks go by and something changes. Fenris asks me for help locating his sister, and the good in me agrees to go with him, even though things have been distant between us. Danarius lays dead on the ground, his larynx crushed by Fenris.

"I would have given you everything." His words to his sister are full of deadly anger at her betrayal, and they sting me. I stay silent and give him his space to deal with her. When we are done, we walk back to my home.

"We have never discussed what happened between us three years ago." Fenris's voice is soft as he sits next to me on the bed. He looks back at the bed and we remember the night.

"It was too hard to talk about."

"I felt like a fool. I thought it better if you hated me, I deserve no less. But it isn't better, Hawke." He stands up in front of me. "That night, I remember your touch as if it were yesterday. I should have asked your forgiveness long ago. I hope you can forgive me now."

"I have thought constantly about why you left, and I still can't wrap my head around it. Why?" I sigh to myself, weary. I half expect this conversation to be a dream.

"I've thought about the answer a thousand times. The pain, the memories it brought up. It was too much." He looks away into the fire and admits, "I was a coward. If I could go back, I would stay, tell you how I felt."

"What would you have said if I had convinced you?"

"Nothing could be worse than the thought of living without you." Fenris swoops into my personal space, anxiously awaiting my answer.

My breath slows as he brings a hand to touch my face, now he no longer feels pain at the touch. My answer of forgiveness is immediate, my lips collide with his as I pull him down on top of me. To be one with his touch is intoxicating.

"Hawke, I love you." He whispers into my ear before entering me.

"I love you. Make love to me, please." Our reunion is soft and slow, we take our time...we are finally complete. No one else can fill my heart like Fenris does. His pain is my pain, his love is everything to me. His seed is warm on my inner thigh, I don't care about the mess. Fenris buries his face in my chest and breathes in my scent once more.

"I will love you forever, Marian Hawke." He proclaims, and now my heart swells with joy.

"Oh, Fenris." We fall asleep content in each other's arms, a night well rested for once.

 **XoXo**

I wish he was here, to see him one last time. The demon slinks away as its prey has now left and I am already on death's doorstep. It takes no pleasure as I have no fear left to give, so it leaves me as my blood gushes out in copious amounts. The pain is excruciating, but I refuse to give into fear as my organs are shutting down. The Fade around me is disappearing, a light is approaching and suddenly I feel delirious. I'm going to see Anders again. I hold onto my loved ones as the light surrounds me in its embrace and my memories are all I have.

 **XoXo**

The next couple of weeks go by as if the last three years almost didn't exist at all for me. And then everything fell apart in Kirkwall. I couldn't stop it; I couldn't prevent Anders from doing what he did. I try to reach him, but Fenris has already done it.

"Anders…" I cradle his head under my arms and stroke his face, my heart breaks as I see the blood gush from his chest.

"I'm sorry, Hawke. I...love you." He coughs up blood but that doesn't deter me from giving him one last sweet kiss on the lips.

"I know, my love. I love you too." I feel the light fade from his eyes, Anders strength slips as he quietly dies in my arms. I cannot hold back the tears as I sob loudly, heartbroken I could not stop this from happening. I hold his limp form to my chest and rock him back and forth, wishfully hoping this is all a dream.

When they finally take his body away, Fenris approaches me. We share a look of understanding; he knows what he had done has hurt me, but his execution was far kinder than what Anders would have been given. I understand. I forgive, even though I am never the same. We soon escape Kirkwall, my friends scatter to the wind but I remain with Fenris.

Until Grey Warden Alistair approaches me for help, I must leave my love behind. I don't know what will happen, I love you Fenris.


	18. Reparation

**A/N:** **Not going to lie, this chapter was shaky writing. I've gone through a major break up recently and I'm changing jobs, so my mindset hasn't been normal lately. Any feedback would be extremely appreciated, I am of course looking for a beta to help with this story.**

 **Chapter 18: Reparation**

Samira's facial expression was not her usual humorous look as she closed the rift in the middle of the courtyard when they got back. Her face entailed a careful, yet grim mask that hid all of the emotion she had been feeling in the last five minutes. She crushed her hand into a fist, beckoning the rift to close as the Inquisition soldiers all around cheered in victory. Blackwall sent her an encouraging look to try to cheer her sullen mood, but found no answer back this time.

Samira found herself a ghost on the inside as she spoke with a wounded Alistair on the state of things; her brain did all the speaking for her as her heart cried out she was a terrible wretch for leaving Hawke in the Fade. But then Varric was there and Samira could no longer ignore the emotion that threatened to invade her senses.

 _Fuck._

"Where's Hawke?" He jogged forward, now better from his injury earlier, but Samira knew this would make him worse off than he was before. Samira felt the ball in her throat tighten its grasp on her, she felt her vocal cords paralyze as the dwarf sent a sensitive look Alistair's way.

"Where's Hawke?" He asked again, his voice tore Samira apart then, she had to speak.

"Varric, I...she didn't make it." She tore her gaze from his grief stricken face and re-directed to the crowd, "Hawke sacrificed her life to save us and strike a decisive blow against Corypheus." Samira hated herself then, she despised herself for letting her best friend's best friend die for her to get away.

 _I should have fought harder, damn it!_

"Well…" Varric could say no more, he started to aimlessly walk away.

"Varric!" Samira cried out, not caring the Inquisitor was still in the middle of business.

"Let him go, Samira. He needs to be alone." Blackwall whispered, and Samira couldn't help but send him an aggravated look.

 _Does he even care that someone is dead because of me?_

"She gave her life not because she'd sworn an oath or been marked as special, but because someone had to do it." Samira concluded, but deep down she thought it was all bullshit.

 _Hawke wasn't supposed to die! I was never supposed to be the Inquisitor, she was. She was the real hero…_

"Your Worship?" Alistair brought Samira out of her thoughts again when asking what was to become of the wardens.

"You stay and do whatever you can to help. You'll all be under my watch, and believe me, I'm watching. There's still plenty of demons that need killing." Samira's voice was as cold as steel with this promise, after all the damage they had inflicted she felt no reservations on keeping them on a short leash for at least the time being.

"Thank you, Your Worship. I'll have to report to Weisshaupt though. I'll give my report to Leliana at Skyhold before setting off. We won't be getting caught off guard by Corypheus again. It's been an honor, Inquisitor Trevelyan...I just wish the circumstances were better." Alistair said and held out his hand to shake. She shook it, and briskly stalked off without sparing a glance in Blackwall's direction.

"Samira! Samira, hold on a second." Of course he caught up with her as she walked the battlements to meet back up with the rest of the group.

"I don't want to talk about it, Blackwall." She wasn't truly mad at him, she couldn't really blame him for stopping her from going to Hawke, but it still hurt. Every instinct within her screamed she just wanted to be left alone, wanted to push him away at least for the time being though.

"I know you don't, and that's why I think we should." He grabbed her hand in concern and love for her and made her stop walking and face him.

"Blackwall, I know you mean well and care for me, but I just saw one of my friends die back there, so believe me when I say I want to be left alone." Samira gritted her teeth, trying to stay patient with the man even though her emotions were a turbulent mess.

"I was there too. I had to protect you, I-" He desperately tried to bring her face to meet his eyes, to show his devotion to her but her wall was already back up.

"You, what, love me? And that's an excuse? Blackwall, do yourself a favor and fuck off." The words came bursting through her mouth faster than she knew how to process them. She couldn't stop and wait to see his hurt reaction, she fade stepped away as fast as she could, avoiding any more harm between the two.

"Fuck, fuck, FUCK!" Samira screamed once she reached the nearest room slamming the door shut behind her and kicked a table in anger.

"Fuck…" She refused to let herself cry this time; Samira resolved to ride separately from the Inquisition and leave for Skyhold as fast as she could. She gave note to Cullen of her plan before she quickly saddled up Raven and headed out.

She didn't care she was making the arduous trek back home by herself, she deserved it. As she made through the various Inquisition check points the following days to restock, she found herself continually thinking of Hawke.

"Hawke, I'm so sorry." Samira muttered to herself as the desert heat started to catch up with her.

Towards the end of the stretch of desert, she could have sworn she saw the mage in the distance, but every time she rode up close, the mirage would fade away, just like Hawke had. She was thankful when she finally made it out of Orlais and started the lonely journey through the Frostbacks; the cold was welcome compared to the hallucinations.

"Inquisitor, you're back already! I was not expecting your return so soon!" Josephine said in a flustered tone as Samira rode through Skyhold's gate with Cassandra by her side. An Inquisition member took Raven's reins from her hands as she stretched her legs. The moment of relief to be back home was cut short as news of what had happened had not yet reached the pair.

"Where is the Champion?" Cassandra wasted no time, believing Hawke would have been with Samira.

"Hawke is dead, and it's because of me." Samira didn't bother waiting for her reaction, she couldn't take another heartbroken face. Taking a deep breath and steadying herself, she walked straight into Herald's rest and plopped down on the bar stool.

Even though Samira had left her armor with the Inquisition, her enchanting clothes had not been changed since leaving Adamant. Her vest was coated with a mixture of sand and snow still clinging to her clothes, but she didn't care all that much for her appearance then.

"Inquisitor. What are we having today?" Cabot said, knowing she was in deep need of his help by the judge of her look.

"The strong stuff, and keep it coming until I pass out."

"Straight away, my lady." The few members that lounged in the tavern made note of her too, but because of her frequent visits, didn't pay too much mind to her this time.

"Oh, Grey Warden. What have you done? The oath you have taken is all but broken." Maryden was belting out her newest tune she had written in recent events, making Samira sarcastically clap as she downed her second whiskey.

"Maker, what happened to you?" Dorian bust through the door with a concerned look on his face for his friend.

"Dorian! It's been a while. Sorry for not taking you with to Adamant." Samira muttered in between drinks.

"Shit, you look like a mess. Vivienne said you looked unwell when she spied you arriving from the veranda she likes to sunbathe from." Dorian took a seat next to her and tried to slyly sneak Samira's drink from her.

"Hey, stop that." She slapped at his hand, dragging the glass back to her before asking, "Did she say that, really? Aww, that's nice of her to notice." Samira hiccuped the last part out.

"Well, not in so many words. I cleaned up the snarkiness for your sake, but by the looks of it you probably don't care what anyone thinks of you right now, dear." He put a sympathetic hand over hers, not needing her to go into details like he usually would.

"You're damn right. As of right now, I am taking a brief sabbatical as Inquisitor for a day or two. Maybe three, I don't know yet. We'll see when Blackwall and Varric get back. Varric probably hates me. Hawke's dead, did I mention that?" Samira blurted out before she finished her drink and motioned for another one.

"Oh, well shit. I can see why you're unwell." Dorian's usual facade of witty banter was dropped now as he pulled his distant cousin in for a hug.

"Yep. I just needed a few drinks to loosen up. It's been a rough...few days to say the least. Hey, Cabot? You think I could sleep behind the bar? I won't be much trouble, swear it." She held her fingers up in oath and laughed at the ridiculousness of it all. Dorian sent a wide eyed look the dwarf's way, clearly saying no.

"Oh, no? Well, shit. Can you help me get up to my room, Dorian? I am EXHAUSTED, and I think I've had enough drink. For now." Samira laid her staff in a sloppy fashion on the bar counter and started to get up as Dorian put an arm around her.

"There, there, dear. Charming Dorian has you." They started to make their way out of the tavern but not before Samira's knees buckled beneath her.

"Whoa! My bad!" She laughed, knowing the whole tavern was now watching but she didn't care. Dorian swooped his strong arms under her legs and picked her up, carefully carrying her back up to her room.

"Dorian, you're the best. You really are. I don't care what people say about Tevinter. I'd totally vacation there, with you as my arm candy."

"Are you tiring of that rustic charm Ferelden has?" Dorian made conversation as they entered the tower that led to her suite.

"Maybe one day. But for now, it's bed time."

"That it is. I really must applaud myself for carrying you this far, have to boast to Bull next time I see him..." Dorian went up the last case of stairs and finally set her down on her bed, letting her plop down exhausted.

"And I thank you, my lovely friend! Ado!" She waved him away and fell back ready to pass out finally after all the travelling and hard drinking she had just done.

When Samira finally came to, it looked like the sun had already started to set as she groaned thinking it was the same day she arrived from Adamant. Leliana pounded at the door, letting herself in after Samira answered from the bed.

"Maker, what is that smell?" She waved her nose when she inspected Samira more closely.

 _Ugh, I'm still in the same clothes…_

"Sorry, Leliana. How long have I been out?" Samira rubbed at her sore neck from probably sleeping in the same position for too long.

"Almost two days, we were starting to get worried about you, Inquisitor. I just received a bird from Cullen. They're only about a day's ride away I estimate." The spymaster stepped away from the Inquisitor and started rifling through her dresser for clothes.

"Is Josephine and Cassandra mad at me?"

"Of course not, just concerned. I'll have the servants draw you a hot bath, Maker you need one!" Leliana lightly chuckled before heading back out the suite.

The day went dreadfully slow for Samira as she took her time bathing and getting dressed after passing her worn out clothing to the servants for cleaning. She decided to ignore her own internal conflict and press on with Inquisition business, spending her time behind her desk signing letters Josephine had drafted.

She poured herself a glass of wine when Dorian arrived to play Wicked Grace, and was welcome for the distraction. He didn't press her on her earlier behavior, and for that Samira was grateful. By the end of the day, Inquisition horns were going off, telling that the Inquisition forces had finally gotten back from Adamant.

Samira mentally prepared herself as she walked out onto her balcony and watched the forces enter the fortress. Once the majority of them were back, she figured she couldn't stall any longer and had to go down and greet them.

"Inquisitor! I'm glad to see you made it back to Skyhold safely." Cullen bashfully spoke to her, Samira ignored the crush he still had, knowing she didn't have the energy to deal with it.

"I thank you, Commander Cullen. I appreciate your efforts following the siege and taking over. I had a personal matter to attend to." She looked over his shoulder and then she saw Varric. As the crowd slowly dispersed, she made her way over to him and they silently walked together to the great hall.

He stopped in front of the fireplace and kept his back to her for a moment before speaking.

"Did I ever tell you about the time Hawke was on a Merchant Guild hit list? Hawke's uncle got into an investment scheme with a couple of merchant caste businessman. They took a lot of people's coin in order to arrange the import of wandering hills from the Anderfels. A delicacy, I'm told." Varric's voice was even, but it held no trace of who Varric Tethras was. He turned and stepped in front of Samira and continued his story.

"Their weird, foreign foodstuffs arrived...alive. And one of them, true to their name, wandered in the middle of the night." He looked downwards, for when this tale should have been humorous, it only served a point as to why Varric's heart was broken.

 _Oh, Varric._

Samira could do nothing but step forward and put her arm around her friend and hold him.

"Shit…" Varric held his head against her chest as a silent tear rolled down his eye he had to wipe away. Samira could no longer keep tears at bay this time. They broke apart and Varric continued.

"The Guild...traced the shipment to Hawke's uncle, but as usual, he was so far in debt he couldn't see daylight. So they went after Hawke instead. They sent guys from the local Carta to Hawke's estate one night. Five big dusters, armed to the teeth. They kick in the door, and Hawke yells, 'You're just in time!' and drags them over to a game of Wicked Grace." Varric mused to himself over the memory this time, remembering it fondly.

"They played two hands of cards before the city guard showed up to take them away. A couple of them became regulars in our weekly game. Hawke just...had that effect on people. I always wanted to tell that one. Thanks." Samira held Varric's hand and kissed him on the forehead, knowing that was all she could do, was be there for him. The guilt hung heavily in the air she breathed, and even though she knew he didn't blame her, it still didn't matter to Samira.

Before the two could say anything else, yelling could be heard from the courtyard, tearing Samira's gaze from her best friend.

"Ser, if you are not a part of the Inquisition, you must clear the security gate first!"

"I don't care if I'm not a part of your Inquisition, I'm looking for her. Where is she?" The voice came louder this time, until a man appeared in the entrance of the great hall with a flustered Cullen following pursuit.

"Fuck…" Varric's expression dropped and I knew immediately who it was.

 _Fenris!_

"Varric, there you are. I've been dealing with these idiots since I entered this forsaken mountain. Where's Hawke? I just caught up with her letters and immediately came here. Why won't anyone tell me anything?" The silver haired elf had an annoyed look on his face, but Samira could tell it was of concern.

Samira felt like choking then. The man Hawke had told her about, the one she had fought with and loved through the years was now here, looking for her. She moved forward but was held up by Varric's hand.

"I should be the one to tell Fenris." Varric's breath was shaky as he readied himself to deliver the news.

"Tell me what, Varric! Where the hell is Hawke!?" Fenris was yelling now, grabbing the attention of the few nobles gathered in the hall.

"Fenris, Hawke is dead." He just came out and said it, Varric couldn't sugar coat this one.

"What? She can't be dead!" Fenris grabbed him by the duster and shouted angrily, his lyrium tattoos flaring up for all to see.

"I'm so sorry…" Varric broke as Fenris angrily shook him while Samira stood helpless to the scene. She couldn't help but cry, and she didn't care if they all gossiped about it. They were real people and Marian Hawke deserved so much more.

Fenris choked up then, but instead of letting himself cry, he stalked out in a fury she hoped no one got in the way of. Samira saw so much pain in his eyes, and she immediately thought of what would happen if she lost Blackwall.

"Varric, come here." Samira grabbed the dwarf and stifled his cry into her torso, trying to shield him from the pain of it all.

"I'll be okay, I just need a drink." Varric sighed as he wiped the final tears away.

"What are you all looking at?" Samira chided the onlookers and walked out of the hall with Varric in tow. The next hour they spent with Iron Bull and Cassandra, drinking in Hawke's memory.

"Maker, I'm a bitch…" Samira muttered under her breath when her epiphany hit.

 _Seeing Fenris made me realize something; I don't know what I'd do without Blackwall. I treated him like shit..._

"What, why?"

"I have to talk to Blackwall. After we're done drinking. I'm going to need some liquid courage." Samira swallowed a knot forming in her throat when the warden came to mind.

"Looks like you won't get the chance, Boss." Bull grunted over his shoulder, pointing to the man that stood at the entrance.

"Time to face the music, I guess. Wish me luck, comrades!" Samira slid her mug forward and took in a shaky breath before turning to meet the warden's gaze.

He looked like he had barely slept since she last saw him. His eyes were baggy, but held a glint when they met with Samira's.

"Warden Blackwall."

"Inquisitor Trevelyan." Blackwall nodded and held out a hand to accompany her out into the cool night air.

"I...I wanted to say I'm sorry for how I treated you back at Adamant. I was, not myself." Samira stood sheepishly running a hand through her cropped (but slowly growing) hair at the mercy of the man.

"Why do you push me away, Samira?" Blackwall kept a calm composure as they walked down steps towards the barn he usually slept at.

"I felt extremely guilty about Hawke. I still do. She was my idol, and my friend. I took it really hard, and I took it out on you, because I didn't know how to deal with it all." Samira stopped as the pair reached their destination, grabbing his gloved hand.

"I don't do loss, never have. But when I met Fenris, it made me think how much harder it would be if you weren't in my life. To lose someone I love…" Samira looked down shyly, still uncomfortable in this role but willing to admit her vulnerability.

"Love?" Blackwall asked uncertainly at her implication, needing to know if she meant what he thought she did.

"Yes, love. I love you, Blackwall." Samira felt a burden lift off her shoulders, as if the walls within built up over the years was truly lifting for the first time in her life.

 _It feels strange, yet wonderful._

"Come here." Blackwall pulled her to his side then, not speaking another word as his lips enveloped hers. She snaked her arms around him but before she could get too comfortable in the kiss, he slowly retreated showing restraint that hinted at something.

"Are you alright?" Samira asked with a confused expression on her face to why he would break away so suddenly.

"It's nothing, my lady. I'm just tired, haven't had much sleep lately." Something was obviously on his mind, but Samira didn't feel like it was her place to question further after the way she had treated him.

"Get some rest then, I'll see you in the morning. I know I need it." Samira blew out an exasperated sigh at the thought of all the Inquisition business that lay ahead of her. Although she had dealt significant blows against Corypheus in the last few months, the time was slowly approaching to find his power base.

 _I know I've thought this before, but I have a feeling things are only going to get harder from here, yet we've done so much._

"Good night, Samira." Blackwall kissed her forehead as she took her leave, this time ignoring the tavern's unruly drunken patrons to take the more responsible route of Inquisitor.


End file.
